4 months porn free. It gets hard but still goes down

[Dude09]

Hi mates,

I’m porn free for 4 months now. I have been doing soft reboot (no P, no M but O with girlfriend) mostly but went hard mode for 1 month in between. I get very hard morning woods but my general sex drive is still not back on track. I have a supportive girlfriend. My Mr. Happy gets hard when I’m with her but not always. She performs oral sex on me and then rides me. I prefer that position because I know if we try to change positions, I will lose erection. Last night she was touching me, I got hard and asked her to pull down the blinds. It took her few seconds to pull down blinds but she came back, my erection is gone. It’s like now I have to wait for next wave of erection to come. When trying to cum, I’m still fantasising porn in my head to reach climax (which sometimes I can’t).
My question would be: Do I need to do anything different? Shall I go hard mode for longer time? Or I just need to be patient and with time, my sex drive will improve?

I will appreciate the feedback.

 

[Stiffy999]

Hi mates,

I’m porn free for 4 months now. I have been doing soft reboot (no P, no M but O with girlfriend) mostly but went hard mode for 1 month in between. I get very hard morning woods but my general sex drive is still not back on track. I have a supportive girlfriend. My Mr. Happy gets hard when I’m with her but not always. She performs oral sex on me and then rides me. I prefer that position because I know if we try to change positions, I will lose erection. Last night she was touching me, I got hard and asked her to pull down the blinds. It took her few seconds to pull down blinds but she came back, my erection is gone. It’s like now I have to wait for next wave of erection to come. When trying to cum, I’m still fantasising porn in my head to reach climax (which sometimes I can’t).
My question would be: Do I need to do anything different? Shall I go hard mode for longer time? Or I just need to be patient and with time, my sex drive will improve?

I will appreciate the feedback.

So as I see, there are only a couple of positions that you are confident your penis will stay hard.Have you ever considered the possibility that losing erection when changing position is due to hard anxiety that you subconsciously create ? What I mean is,do you have anxious thoughts like "I must stay on my back or else I lose it?" , "What if she makes me go on top and I lose it?" ,"Why I can't get it up?", "Why can't I cum?" ,"Is my dick broken?" and many other anxious thoughts like these ? Approaching sex with that type of mindset is guaranteed to kill your arousal.Who can stay aroused while constantly being worried about some silly things?
You need to be confident in yourself man,you did 4 months reboot,you had sex and bj many times,recovered from porn addiction,but it still seems to me that your confidence didn't recover.

 

[Wonder]

Hi mates,

I’m porn free for 4 months now. I have been doing soft reboot (no P, no M but O with girlfriend) mostly but went hard mode for 1 month in between. I get very hard morning woods but my general sex drive is still not back on track. I have a supportive girlfriend. My Mr. Happy gets hard when I’m with her but not always. She performs oral sex on me and then rides me. I prefer that position because I know if we try to change positions, I will lose erection. Last night she was touching me, I got hard and asked her to pull down the blinds. It took her few seconds to pull down blinds but she came back, my erection is gone. It’s like now I have to wait for next wave of erection to come. When trying to cum, I’m still fantasising porn in my head to reach climax (which sometimes I can’t).
My question would be: Do I need to do anything different? Shall I go hard mode for longer time? Or I just need to be patient and with time, my sex drive will improve?

I will appreciate the feedback.

Go hard mode for min 3 month! I have exacly same situation, i feel change only in hard mode after 2 month ....try it ..without orgasm very important!! No porn mo or sex!

 

[Dude09]

Go hard mode for min 3 month! I have exacly same situation, i feel change only in hard mode after 2 month ....try it ..without orgasm very important!! No porn mo or sex!

Yes I plan to go on hard mode for 3 months. How is your progress since the hard mode? Are you able to have successful sex?

 

[Dude09]

So as I see, there are only a couple of positions that you are confident your penis will stay hard.Have you ever considered the possibility that losing erection when changing position is due to hard anxiety that you subconsciously create ? What I mean is,do you have anxious thoughts like "I must stay on my back or else I lose it?" , "What if she makes me go on top and I lose it?" ,"Why I can't get it up?", "Why can't I cum?" ,"Is my dick broken?" and many other anxious thoughts like these ? Approaching sex with that type of mindset is guaranteed to kill your arousal.Who can stay aroused while constantly being worried about some silly things?
You need to be confident in yourself man,you did 4 months reboot,you had sex and bj many times,recovered from porn addiction,but it still seems to me that your confidence didn't recover.

Well because I opened up with my gf, I don’t have pressure even if it goes down but still it’s frustrating when it goes down and what’s more frustrating is that it doesn’t come back up again with the touch. I have to wait for a while till I start feeling it again. I won’t say I have anxiety per se but I’m not confident of my sex drive. My penis should take instructions from me but instead I’m at its mercy, to put it that way.

 

[Wonder]

Yes I plan to go on hard mode for 3 months. How is your progress since the hard mode? Are you able to have successful sex?

I m very severe case , after 2+ month in hard mode i fell beter ! Not good, only beter like before!! I your case after 3 month you see progress, in first phase try one single orgasm per month .. only sex!! Without porn or artificial stimuli.

 

[forestwater]

Part of your problem is that you're fantasizing about P in order to climax. Even if you are not literally using porn, your brain doesn't know the difference. It thinks you're still using porn, and you're not going to reboot this way. You would probably benefit from the mantra "If it's not real, no deal." The only thing that should be turning you on is your girlfriend right in front of you - not porn fantasies, not porn-like fantasies about your girlfriend, nothing. If you can't get off to what's happening in the moment with your girlfriend, you shouldn't be getting off at all. It may sound harsh, but it's the truth. You have to commit to not just giving up the porn on a screen, but also the porn in your brain. Good luck.

 

[Fappy]

Part of your problem is that you're fantasizing about P in order to climax. Even if you are not literally using porn, your brain doesn't know the difference. It thinks you're still using porn, and you're not going to reboot this way. You would probably benefit from the mantra "If it's not real, no deal." The only thing that should be turning you on is your girlfriend right in front of you - not porn fantasies, not porn-like fantasies about your girlfriend, nothing. If you can't get off to what's happening in the moment with your girlfriend, you shouldn't be getting off at all. It may sound harsh, but it's the truth. You have to commit to not just giving up the porn on a screen, but also the porn in your brain. Good luck.

This.

 

[Dude09]

Part of your problem is that you're fantasizing about P in order to climax. Even if you are not literally using porn, your brain doesn't know the difference. It thinks you're still using porn, and you're not going to reboot this way. You would probably benefit from the mantra "If it's not real, no deal." The only thing that should be turning you on is your girlfriend right in front of you - not porn fantasies, not porn-like fantasies about your girlfriend, nothing. If you can't get off to what's happening in the moment with your girlfriend, you shouldn't be getting off at all. It may sound harsh, but it's the truth. You have to commit to not just giving up the porn on a screen, but also the porn in your brain. Good luck.

Yes you’re absolutely right. I’m aware of that and I think that’s the hardest part to overcome. One thing that I have started is not to close my eyes during intimacy and stay in the moment. When I close my eyes, my brain goes towards Porn.