theway1002
Member
I've struggled with sexual dysfunction my entire life. My sexual development has been a perfect storm: At a very young age I masturbated prone (since stopped), discovered porn and got into fetishes.
By the time I was in college I already had severe PIED. I had a girlfriend but I couldn't perform, the relationship fizzled out.
I'm now 30 and still have PIED and zero libido. I've avoided girls, despite getting plenty of attention, since college because of the humiliation of my condition.
Despite it all, I keep relapsing.
My longest ever clean streak has been 7 months, I recently relapsed after 6 months. The idea of going clean for 1-2 years seems impossible to me. I believe I need a perfect streak of at least 2 years to recover, I'll keep trying, but it seems so fucking daunting.
How do people manage to stay clean for 1 to 2 years? It just seems so absurdly difficult. I suffer from bouts of deep sadness and anxiety, and in those times my neurotic mind leads me down a path of self destruction to seek the temporary comfort of a quick dopamine hit PMO provides. I hate that I'm so weak. It's all making me hate my sad, unfortunate life.
I'll keep trying. I'll try to be positive. Any advice appreciated. Sorry for the pity post.
By the time I was in college I already had severe PIED. I had a girlfriend but I couldn't perform, the relationship fizzled out.
I'm now 30 and still have PIED and zero libido. I've avoided girls, despite getting plenty of attention, since college because of the humiliation of my condition.
Despite it all, I keep relapsing.
My longest ever clean streak has been 7 months, I recently relapsed after 6 months. The idea of going clean for 1-2 years seems impossible to me. I believe I need a perfect streak of at least 2 years to recover, I'll keep trying, but it seems so fucking daunting.
How do people manage to stay clean for 1 to 2 years? It just seems so absurdly difficult. I suffer from bouts of deep sadness and anxiety, and in those times my neurotic mind leads me down a path of self destruction to seek the temporary comfort of a quick dopamine hit PMO provides. I hate that I'm so weak. It's all making me hate my sad, unfortunate life.
I'll keep trying. I'll try to be positive. Any advice appreciated. Sorry for the pity post.