To always start again

Rumson

Member
@viking1234, I don't know how much you apply practical steps. For example, I'm sitting at a cafe all day cause I know being alone at home could lead to temptation. I'm going to avoid movies with nudity for a while until I reboot and have more self control and will power. Look at your triggers and make if difficult to access the internet. I use PC's a lot but I'm only going to use my laptop in public places.
I hope this helps. Keep it up man. Rooting for you.
 

viking1234

Member
@viking1234, I don't know how much you apply practical steps. For example, I'm sitting at a cafe all day cause I know being alone at home could lead to temptation. I'm going to avoid movies with nudity for a while until I reboot and have more self control and will power. Look at your triggers and make if difficult to access the internet. I use PC's a lot but I'm only going to use my laptop in public places.
I hope this helps. Keep it up man. Rooting for you.
Hey Rumson. I do have practical steps. For me, the biggest danger is my phone, so I'm trying to reduce screen time and alone time with my phone.

Day 12 today.
Pretty much no porn thoughts lately. I've been mostly focused on my health and post covid recovery. I'm thankfully much better and I was able to work yesterday. Still afraid it might change from one day to the other, but why should that happen?
Two days away from two weeks!!
I even came up with a crazy theory: I'm having post covid because of a dopamine imbalance thanks to PMO... Who knows, it could be...
Cheers
Viking1234
 

Rumson

Member
@viking1234 It's probably the same for me especially when I'm alone. I hope you stay disciplined and find good ways to reduce screen time man. Stand strong in the times that you feel weak, this one of the biggest battles a man can face. Looking forward to good news here.
 

viking1234

Member
Bad news today...
I ended up watching a bit yesterday and then relapsed today.
I was extremely angry at a lot of stuff yesterday, and craving PMO like hell.
I need to learn that this is not how to deal with life. The correct way out is relaxing, reading, going for a walk, a cup of tea...
I understand it perfectly, but it's easier said than done...
Anyway, day 0. But I have 14 behind me, so that has to count!

cheers
viking1234
 
Sorry to hear about the relapse @viking1234
But no doubt that 14 days counts for a lot and one relapse doesn't undo all that progress
Great job coming straight back here and getting back on the horse - you got this brother! 💪
 

Blondie

Respected Member
Hey Viking, good job on 14 days. That's a great accomplishment. Take what you've learned so far and use that knowledge for future glory. You have not undone your progress.

Keeping killing it!
 

Rumson

Member
@viking1234 Sorry to hear about that bro. Your heart is still in it. Get back up and fight again. Take a look at what made it was easy to access and put some obstacles in the way.

Something that's helped for me is to watch videos about the topic and to remind myself what I'm doing. You're still an inspiration so keep fighting.
 

viking1234

Member
Day 4 today.
Days 2 and 3 went by nicely :)
It's such a good feeling to see that counter going up. Suddenly I'm on 4 again. Traveling a lot today/tomorrow...
Need to keep my eyes open and to remember to meditate and have time for myself every day. Otherwise this addiction hits you all of a sudden when you least expect it. And again... it doesn't magically solve all of my problems. They're still there.

Cheers!
viking1234
 

viking1234

Member
Bad news today. I relapsed after a 9 day streak.
As much as I try to think 'P is not an option', I find myself doing things almost involuntarily. I realise what I'm doing and I even caught myself and stopped for a few minutes, but then started again. I get so in the moment that it's very hard to stop. And once I'm down the spiral, forget it.
Today was not about being angry, sad or anything similar. It's more like I'm feeling the monotony of my life lately, and some part of me wants to feel the novelty of being with other girls. I long for a connection that in the end is really superficial, whereas I have the deepest of connections right in front of my eyes.

The whole thing was maybe 45' minutes. It gives me hope that it's becoming shorter and also longer streaks, but still, I need to develop my awareness to be able to change focus when the time comes.
Starting again. I will win, no matter how long it takes.

Viking
 

Rumson

Member
Hey Viking, so I completely resonate and understand your situation. I've been there. The thing that was different this time was, I made a list of all the things I'd be giving up by watching porn ( and trust me that list is extensive). I watched a whole bunch of videos on YouTube and found they all had these things in common.

Do you have someone you can trust to talk to about it? Perhaps apps that block certain sites?
Find the times you are weak and tempted and put some plans and barriers in action.

For example, yesterday I could sense I was having more thoughts about porn and it was getting diificult to focus so I called a friend and went for a 30 minute run. Looking forward to your progress.
 

viking1234

Member
Hey Rumson. A list is a good idea, I'll do that.
I do have apps and blockers in place, but I'm a bit tech savy so there's unfortunately workarounds with everything.
Day 3 today. Slept quite badly but luckily covid seems to be getting better (fingers crossed) so I could work nicely yesterday and got a mood boost. Finally it's looking positive!
Not much temptation lately. The first days are usually OK, for me it gets bad around day 7/8...
Going strong!
Viking1234
 

viking1234

Member
Day 6 today.
Have been quite busy lately... I got a new job! Part time, but in my branch, so that's really good.
Covid recovery has been better, though I've been extremely tired because of traveling, interview, rehearsals, etc... Plus the doctor visit made me really nervous. Luckily it's only a few more times with the long commute and then I'm done with that job.
Now it starts getting difficult... I feel the lust around the corner. I'm not sure, but I might be feeling some withdrawal symptoms as well... I get random mood swings, some headaches, and weird sh+t.
Keeping it up!
Cheers,
viking1234
 

viking1234

Member
Bad news. I just relapsed. Feels super disappointing, because it's never as good as your brains promises it. Plus I've lost again.
I knew this was going to be hard, but sh{t...
I think I was too busy this week thinking about other things and not putting enough energy into my motivation for not PMOing. I'll get to writing a list and reading a bit about motivation right away.
I wonder, how long do you have to start all over again?
viking
 

viking1234

Member
All righty. I need an action plan:
I'll meditate every day 5 minutes about how and why I do NOT want PMO in my life. I've done this small list which I'm pasting here to be able to access it myself more easily. I hope this small list can help me remember why I'm doing this when the difficult moment arrives and I'm into tunnel mode without awareness:

why not

Because I'd be jeopardizing my relationship
because it's not real love
because who knows what the women there are suffering
because it's an addiction
because it doesn't allow me to enjoy my daily life
because it makes me nervous
because it makes me anxious
because it makes me doubt myself
because it takes away my confidence
because it's been 10+ years
because I want to be the master of my life
because it goes against all my values
because it's not as good as I think
because I want the awareness
because I want to be happy
because it's not healthy in the long term
because it creates an imbalance in my brain
because I don't enjoy anything otherwise

This is real guys.
viking
 

Blondie

Respected Member
Viking, I love this list. Yes, all of it!

Sorry about your relapse, but it seems, your learned from it, which is a sign of growth. You just have to figure out how to escape those moments, before it's too late to turn back. This list should definitely help you in that regard.

Whatever you do, don't be too hard on yourself, get back up and get moving!

Stay strong.
 
Great list viking! You can also focus on the reverse - the benefits you'll get from not using porn too
Regardless, great to see you straight back here getting back on the horse
I think that shows you have the drive within you to succeed 💪
 
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