To always start again

[viking1234]

Bad news today.
Relapsed again.
I think I'm going to ask a friend to hold me accountable. I just feel I cannot do this alone

 

[Blondie]

Bad news today.
Relapsed again.
I think I'm going to ask a friend to hold me accountable. I just feel I cannot do this alone

It's okay @viking1234, if this was easy, no one would be here. I think this is a great idea. Just the very action of opening up to someone can really be healing.

Best brother.

 

[viking1234]

Ok, I just told someone about this. Other that some therapists (one of which thought PMO was/is OK), this is the first person I have ever opened up to about this.

I have no words to say how I feel. Free! Let's see how it goes...
Cheers

 

[Blondie]

That's great news! I'm really happy for you.

Other that some therapists (one of which thought PMO was/is OK),

lol not surprised.

Best

 

[WinkTinkTillium]

Glad to hear it brought you some mental freedom! You've got this!

 

[viking1234]

Day 2 today.
Everything good so far, nothing to report. Feels like a waiting game.

 

[viking1234]

Day 5. Quite a lot to do lately so not a lot of urges or thoughts. Feeling a bit tired and every now and then I get P flashbacks.
Somehow the resolve seems stronger considering I've told a friend. Hoping for the best!

 

[viking1234]

Day 6.
Yesterday was tough in the end, I got a pretty bad mood swing and felt like shit. Weird, it's like I had been living on extremes and then all of a sudden life is not exciting anymore, which is understandable considering how much of a drug this is...
Anyhow, I know it'll get bad before it gets good again.
Good news is that I have some family coming to visit soon, whom I haven't seen in almost two years

Viking

 

[Androg]

Ups and downs are normal during withdrawal. First couple weeks are the worst. I saw this article on withdrawal: https://blackdoctor.org/porn-addiction-withdrawal-symptoms-recovery/

Not overly informative, but at least you know you're not alone.

 

[viking1234]

Day 7.
Boredom continues, everything feels untasteful. Strong cravings, sex or anything...
Also, I realize how mad I get whenever my GF is not in the mood, so I'm trying to change that.
The anticipation is what's terrible...

 

[Blondie]

It's all part of the process, the boredom, restlessness. I'm trying to get back into eating well again, and I'm having some of the same "symptoms". I feel like life's no more fun and eating well kind a boring, etc. It's lame but it's the facts, you just have to push through it.

Best brother.

 

[viking1234]

Unfortunately, I just realised I have another smartphone and ended up watching a bit, around 20'. Didn't finish though.
I'm counting it as a reset and I know I have to be extra careful the next few days. I'll get rid of the second smartphone (family needed one) and use only the one that has the accountability software on it, which is a HUGE deterrent, more than the blocker, I'd say.
Pushing through with 8 days without NOTHING at all, my best record in quite a while.

Thanks Blondie, Androg and Wink