Feeling alone and in need of help in this journey

Kraven

Member
I haven't talked to anyone about quitting PMO so I would be really greatful if you could reply and then go on this journey together)

Hello guys,
I'm a 21 y/o single guy, college student who wants to have a great and beautiful life. But the greatest stumble block for me is PMO. So finally I've decided to write a journal on this community because this journey is not meant to be fought alone (which I failed to realise in the past). But unlike everyone else, I wont be counting my days because I find myself obsessing about it and then not being present with my life.

It's been 2 or 3 years since I've first started nofap and in these years I've once had a streak of 119 days. But after that I'm falling again and again and these days I've been feeling really lonely. I want to talk to someone about my problems but I just can't bring myself up to it.
Opening myself up in this community is probably the best thing I've done in this journey.

ALSO IN NEED OF AN ACCOUNTABILITY PARTNER.

RELAPSED
Two hours ago but without porn. Not feeling really bad but I hope the chaser effect is not extremely strong.
 

Kraven

Member
RELAPSED
Today because my college hasn't started yet so I was sitting idle with nothing to do and was kinda lonely.
So I've decided to go back home to my family and return only after all my friends have come back.

My main triggers
* Loneliness
* Drinking
 

Kraven

Member
Day 1

Even though I said I wont be counting my days, I feel now that its really important. So I'll be counting till day 90

This is the first time I'm journaling on this community and it feels awesome. So many like minded people who wants to make this world a better place.

I guess my decision to return home was good and I don't feel lonely now. Also me and my family are going to watch a movie tomorrow, so I'm really exited about it.
Every time I relapse, I always tend to socially isolate myself but this time I'm not gonna do that. Day 0 or day 1, I'm still gonna try my best to interact with people because I want to increase my social skills and not limit myself to what day I'm on.
 

TOBAF

Member
Human interaction is helpful, make sure it is appropriate. At least You know your triggers, and Nader stand how to move around them.
 

Kraven

Member
Day 2

One small porn flashback today.

Also thought about what my life would be without porn?
The great things that I can accomplish and achieve when nothing is holding me back.
What if I never have to feel like crap and depressed like I do after a relapse?
That taste of freedom which I'd completely forgotten about it, I felt it today.
So I promise that one day, I'll have that freedom.

And to the person who is reading this, fight for your freedom as well. You can do this.
 

Kraven

Member
Day 3

I read more about porn addiction in the book "Treating Pornography Addiction". Lots of stuffs about the levels of porn addiction and how lives were ruined because of this.

From today onwards, I'm gonna practice positive self talks every single day to rewire all the false garbage that I've (along with other people) been telling myself all these years. I saw a video saying that this really changes you and your beliefs about yourself from the very core which is the most important step for addiction recovery.

I was very active on this community today and spend most of my time reading about porn addiction and about social media (specially how it keeps you addicted).

A mind blowing trick that I found out today.
Keep your mobile screen in black and white and you'll use your phone less frequently because less dopamine will be released this way.
And I guess you won't be triggered as much if you come across a provocative image.
(But I won't try that purposely)
 
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