I’m starting to think about MO about once every day now, and I don’t really know why. I’ve got a feeling it’s my addicted brain trying to get me back into the groove.
But as I mentioned earlier, I still feel like my body doesn’t really need it. It feels like I’m going through a reset, which makes sense. I will hold off from it, because I don’t really want to do it anyway. I want another person in front of me for it to even make any sense right now.
it 100% is prior addicted habits fighting against your new changes. Think of a rubber band. By rebooting and going for 24 days without P your brains addiction rubber band is stretching almost to its breaking point and the addiction pathways are doing everything they can to get you to come back. but by pushing forward you will break that addiction rubber band and it will get easier and those urges will die more and more
Tomorrow, this will be my second longest streak. I struggled after that first streak, but something is different this time. I think I can get further this time around, but it will certainly be interesting to see what happens when the urges come along. I will need to be very mindful about that! Still zero MO.
You're doing amazing, man. Keep this going. Remember, the end goal is for us to beat this crap and eventually all of these urges will be behind us. To do that, keep battling this, like Blondie says, one day at a time.
It’s day 26. I’m a bit sick, I think this weekend will be a slow one, where I just rest. Still no urges to speak of, apart from a couple of images popping up out of nowhere. They disappear again quickly.
Being sick makes me bored. I’ve got no energy to do anything but lie around, and urges are starting to appear now. This kind of sucks, I was really getting into a good place.
At least I’m aware that boredom is a trigger for me. If I had to rank my urges right now, I’d say they are at 15/100, where 100 is giving in. It’s not much, but I have to be careful not to let it grow. Times like these I could probably convince myself to take a peek at instagram or something just to quench the thirst. But the thirst can’t be quenched like this, it will only make it worse.
Im going to give myself a more specific goal. I truly want to get to 90 days, but right now it seems too far off in a way. So for now, I’ll set it at 30 days and take it from there.
1 MO today, first in the last 27 days. It was okay, I could’ve done without it, but maybe I just needed a release. Still, urges to watch P are lower today than yesterday. I will go as long as possible until next time, another month at the very least.