It ends here.
- Thread starter downhillfromhere
- Start date
GBS
Respected Member
Keep going @downhillfromhere - it is downhill after a while. Sometimes flat, but you’re probably ready to deal with anything now. Be strong for we are ALL with you.
downhillfromhere
Well-Known Member
Thanks @Ezel and @GBS! And @Blondie of course!
I will push on, starting to feel a lot better and I’m in a totally different place than just a week ago. I feel pretty awesome, to tell the truth! And that’s rare for me.
Yesterday I went swimming with a friend from work, or jumped in the ocean a couple of times to be more precise! Loved it, just the act of deciding to jump from a height was so enjoyable, and challenging due to my slight fear of heights. Thinking of making it a ritual, try to do it every Wednesday maybe even during winter.
I will push on, starting to feel a lot better and I’m in a totally different place than just a week ago. I feel pretty awesome, to tell the truth! And that’s rare for me.
Yesterday I went swimming with a friend from work, or jumped in the ocean a couple of times to be more precise! Loved it, just the act of deciding to jump from a height was so enjoyable, and challenging due to my slight fear of heights. Thinking of making it a ritual, try to do it every Wednesday maybe even during winter.
Last edited:
WinkTinkTillium
Active Member
This is awesome, so glad to hear it and keepe killing it @downhillfromhere
downhillfromhere
Well-Known Member
Thank you @WinkTinkTillium!
downhillfromhere
Well-Known Member
The fog is lifting. I feel like my head is working better, I can think clearly again. Women are looking my way all of a sudden. This feels amazing! I'm talking more to people, I'm listening to music at home, I'm thinking about everything and anything I can do tonight. Might go for another swim or something.
Fuck porn!
Fuck porn!
downhillfromhere
Well-Known Member
Day 41
Blondie
Respected Member
This is so exciting Downhill.
We're in charge of our lives, and yes, fuck porn!
Please explain, this is fantastic!
Yes I've noticed this too. I've found myself over these last 5 months saying things in class I would never have said before because I'm out of my head and living in the present. Props to you!
I love this. Porn takes our lives away, but all we have to do is say NO and we get it back.
We're in charge of our lives, and yes, fuck porn!
downhillfromhere
Well-Known Member
It's hard to know what changed, but I guess I'm catching women looking my way - it used to happen once in a while, but lately it's been more often. It's building my self-image, and I'm starting to realize that I actually might be desirable to women. I don't know. Maybe I'm starting to notice the little stuff like someone looking, when I'm deconditioning myself to all that intense stuff I used to view. Or maybe taking care of myself physically and mentally is starting to show!
Great that you're experiencing that! It truly feels like a gift to be able to express oneself without being stifled by brain fog. This might sound kind of stupid, but most times in my life I have had a feeling that there's some kind of bottlecap on my mind, something that's preventing me from thinking as clearly as I know I can. Like you say, like I was stuck inside my own head in a way.
Yes! There's an actual real life out there just waiting. The tyranny of porn can be ended. Thank you for taking an interest Blondie
downhillfromhere
Well-Known Member
Just a note, I'm beginning to get the weekends under control. No urges at all now, just little glimpses now and then of things from the past appearing. But they don't trigger any real urges, they are more like thoughts coupled with a fear of starting to miss porn.
But how can I miss something that was never real?
But how can I miss something that was never real?
Blondie
Respected Member
That's the funny thing with our minds, they don't realize it's all fake!
Maybe it's time for a digital breakup, and say goodbye to all your favorites over the years. Make the breakup "official" so as to let your mind know it's completely over with. Obviously don't look at anything, but mentally take note of the names of your favorite models and say goodbye to each and every one of them.
Is that stupid? Absolutely! In fact the only thing stupider is to be looking at porn in the first place! Make a big deal about it so your brain takes a hint and starts to see that those days of "bliss" are fucking over! Laugh, cry, throw shit at the wall and be done with this part of your life. The relationship from hell is finally over and a new life of freedom and true love is in your future! Say goodbye to your "digital harem" and then laugh at yourself in a good way, because if you can't find humor in this, yes, even in this shit habit, you've alreadly lost the race before you've even begun!
Stay strong. I'm glad the urges have started to fade.
Addendum: Obviously don't do this if you think it would cause an urge. The point is to make it so ridiculous, that it makes you laugh and jolts you out of your fantasy land and into realty! Naturally, the thought that you should even have to do this makes you cringe, but then the thought hits you "Fuck, everything about this shit should make us cringe!" Exactly!
Best
Last edited:
downhillfromhere
Well-Known Member
That might be kind of stupid, but it might just be equally brilliant, and it may be exactly what I need! When I look back, there are always specific people or models that give that euphoric recall. Like they were actually there at some point, and I could get them back whenever I wanted just by the click of a button.That's the funny thing with our minds, they don't realize it's all fake!
Maybe it's time for a digital breakup, and say goodbye to all your favorites over the years. Make the breakup "official" so as to let your mind know it's completely over with. Obviously don't look at anything, but mentally take note of the names of your favorite models and say goodbye to each and every one of them.
Is that stupid? Absolutely! In fact the only thing stupider is to be looking at porn in the first place! Make a big deal about it so your brain takes a hint and starts to see that those days of "bliss" are fucking over! Laugh, cry, throw shit at the wall and be done with this part of your life. The relationship from hell is finally over and a new life of freedom and true love is in your future! Say goodbye to your "digital harem" and then laugh at yourself in a good way, because if you can't find humor in this, yes, even in this shit habit, you've alreadly lost the race before you've even begun!
Stay strong. I'm glad the urges have started to fade.
Addendum: Obviously don't do this if you think it would cause an urge. The point is to make it so ridiculous, that it makes you laugh and jolts you out of your fantasy land and into realty! Naturally, the thought that you should even have to do this makes you cringe, but then the thought hits you "Fuck, everything about this shit should make us cringe!" Exactly!
Best
Right now, thankfully most of the names I've collected in my head have started to fade and I'm drawing a blank on most of them - maybe it's subconscious. I used to literally write lists, pen on paper, so I wouldn't forget all those amazing women I conquered on the internet.
So that might turn out to be triggering, and I won't disturb the peace. But a couple of names and faces have regularly surfaced, so I will take your advice and say my goodbyes. Then do the same thing if anyone else shows their face. And I'll try to make a scene! Thanks!
Last edited:
downhillfromhere
Well-Known Member
Day 42
forceisstrong2
Active Member
Hey Downhill,
You've passed 40 days - amazing! And it's amazing too to hear about the positive effects and changes in your life.
Keep going, brother!
You've passed 40 days - amazing! And it's amazing too to hear about the positive effects and changes in your life.
Keep going, brother!
downhillfromhere
Well-Known Member
Thanks @forceisstrong2, I appreciate that! Really hoping that those changes stick around, because these things can quickly turn around. And if another flatline hits, I'll ride it out just like I've done before.
Really hoping that those changes stick around, because these things can quickly turn around. And if another flatline hits, I'll ride it out just like I've done before.
Last edited:
Blondie
Respected Member
downhillfromhere
Well-Known Member
searching4good
Active Member
Congrats on 40+ days downhill - an amazing achievement and a really inspirational one for someone like me who's comparatively at the beginning. Looking forward to checking in on here and keeping up with your progress. Keep putting one foot in front of the other - you've got this.
downhillfromhere
Well-Known Member
Thank you! It feels good to get this far again, I had quite a few relapses during the past few months. Appreciate the support!