My journey to becoming a Better Me

Hi! its going to be a long post with everything that's going on with me. PLEASE read it and if you can help me I would really appreciate it.

Introduction:
Hi!
I'm new rebooter here, 25 years old, Single, Male. I suffer from Anxiety, Depression, Obesity and recently I have been suffering from ED not sure what it is...

Porn and my Routine:
I was introduced to P when I was 14 or 15 i guess started as naked pictures and then moved to P one thing led to another and it became an addiction as I was using it to relief my depression. I was using it Daily sometimes 2 times a day. I used to edge to P for hours finding more realistic P more romantic type of and I also used insta models and just couples making out and it became a problem and I thought of quiting it. I was a week into it and I was getting really strong urges to watch it again and to PMO and I was also adapting new habits as weight loss to reduce my stress and depression. So one day it was Friday I was in my room on my bed I thought about doing PMO but before that I tried getting out of bed and take a walk that maybe the urge will go away but when I tried getting up I felt really bad pain in my lower back like all my muscles tensed up I got Panicked really bad as I suffer from anxiety but I took NSAID and pain was gone so was my labido
later that night I felt like my penis is somewhat like numb I was able to feel it with my hands but it didn't felt normal and I Panicked some more alot more actually that's how I got ED 2 days later I went to the GP and told him about the night and numbness he said your muscles just tensed up nothing to worry you will be fine it happens. but I was not getting erections and I was scared.

So I searched my symptoms Online ☹ and as Google said I have ED maybe caused by blood flow issue, Venous leak, or Diabetes which gave me a full blown Panic attack. and I researched some more and came to this forum.

Current situation:
I am a month into the reboot 43 days to be specific. In start when I was 10 or 15 days into it I noticed I can get erection while sleeping ( Nocturnal Erections ) and I do get erections with my hand but it goes away quickly but my labido is all gone and my dick feels dead.
After like 20 days I started getting erections during the day and I didn't needed much stimulation to get an Erection but 5 days later till now without any PMO I'm back to only Nocturnal Erections which are 90% sometimes 100%.

Symptoms I'm facing during Reboot:
  • Complete loss of labido
  • Hard to get an Erection
  • Hard keeping an Erection
  • Complete loss of interest in everything I loved to do
  • Semen leakage after I pee
  • Frequent Urination
  • Lower abdominal Pain feels like tight
  • Loss of Concentration
  • Severe Anxiety and depression.
  • Want to commit Suicide
  • Lossing Erection when I stand up or even sit up straight.
Things I'm Scared of:
I hope it is not something Physical
If its Psychological I hope I recover

I'm even getting scared by the thought of PMO my heart starts racing even when I touch my D.
but I am getting Nocturnal Erections so I hope its not a physical problem.
I'm currently at work but instead of working I'm here that's how much I'm depressed about it and my hands are shaking just by typing this
Hoping for replies 🙏
 
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Fappy

Respected Member
If it’s psychological, that is if it’s the effect porn abuse has had on the chemical makeup of your brain, then it is absolutely curable. The only way to do that is to stick with your reboot process.
As for the physical it might be a good idea to consult your doctor.
 
If it’s psychological, that is if it’s the effect porn abuse has had on the chemical makeup of your brain, then it is absolutely curable. The only way to do that is to stick with your reboot process.
As for the physical it might be a good idea to consult your doctor.
The thing is I'm not from a developed country and in our country psycological problems are like a myth and this how a Doc treats a sexual issue here

Can't get an Erection use Viagra
Didn't work ?
Use pump or get implant
And that's it
 

Prakash

Member
The thing is I'm not from a developed country and in our country psycological problems are like a myth and this how a Doc treats a sexual issue here

Can't get an Erection use Viagra
Didn't work ?
Use pump or get implant
And that's it
Yes this a problem but.... Feel relaxed and doing no fab atleast 90 day on hard mode... And never watch watch porn again.....you will be fine
 

Tryinghere

Active Member
Your story sounds a lot like mine. It got really hard for me between about 45-50 days up until about 90/100 days. Then things started to drastically change with my mental well being. I would expect you’ll see similar results.

make sure to incorporate healthy habits into your daily routine. Daily meditation, cold showers, and journaling helped immensely. Good nutrition is huge.

To try and set your kind at ease, Although I haven’t experienced every symptom you’re going though, I’ve experienced a lot of them. And I’ve read other peoples stories and seen every single symptom you mention.

The problem is porn, not physical.
The solution is no porn.
You know that. The next little while is going to be up and down, but you got it. It’s temporary, trust me. I’m not out of the woods yet, but I know how I feel right now compared to how I felt 2, 3, or 6 months ago.

Good luck sir
 
Your story sounds a lot like mine. It got really hard for me between about 45-50 days up until about 90/100 days. Then things started to drastically change with my mental well being. I would expect you’ll see similar results.

make sure to incorporate healthy habits into your daily routine. Daily meditation, cold showers, and journaling helped immensely. Good nutrition is huge.

To try and set your kind at ease, Although I haven’t experienced every symptom you’re going though, I’ve experienced a lot of them. And I’ve read other peoples stories and seen every single symptom you mention.

The problem is porn, not physical.
The solution is no porn.
You know that. The next little while is going to be up and down, but you got it. It’s temporary, trust me. I’m not out of the woods yet, but I know how I feel right now compared to how I felt 2, 3, or 6 months ago.

Good luck sir
Thanks alot man it means really really means alot
 

Fappy

Respected Member
The thing is I'm not from a developed country and in our country psycological problems are like a myth and this how a Doc treats a sexual issue here

Can't get an Erection use Viagra
Didn't work ?
Use pump or get implant
And that's it
Just stop watching porn forever. I’m sure you’ll feel better and you’ll get the proper functioning of your penis back.
 

Tryinghere

Active Member
I'm never gonna watch that again I just don't know when I will get my life back or if I ever will
You WILL. I don't know when. But you will. Keep away from pornography. Everything else will fall into place. It will probably take a frustratingly long time. but you'll see results and want to keep going at some point. Just stick with it.
 
Update Time:
52 Days PMO free Hard mode I guess, see some improvements related my symptoms I mentioned above
Morning Wood still getting MW 4 to 5 days a week sometimes 95% and sometimes 100% hard
Anxiety and Depression is almost gone I mean I still get episodes of this like " what if this happens" or " what if that happens " stuff like that. Specifically when I wake up this is the first thought in my mind.
Semen leakage has reduced to once a week.
Frequent Urination is much better.
Weight loss I have lost 5 kgs (11 lbs) almost in these 52 days by doing brisk walk and little bit of cardio and by cleaning out my diet.

Other than this it's same as before no sign of labido what so ever, no interest in doing anything I feel like I'm dead inside don't even feel like commiting suicide lol its like I'm a zombie or something. D still feels numb and dead even with MW it feels like something is missing ( maybe because there is no arousal ).
Still can't get erection standing up
No urge to M or watch P or anything as I said before I feel like a zombie.
 

Tryinghere

Active Member
Update Time:
52 Days PMO free Hard mode I guess, see some improvements related my symptoms I mentioned above
Morning Wood still getting MW 4 to 5 days a week sometimes 95% and sometimes 100% hard
Anxiety and Depression is almost gone I mean I still get episodes of this like " what if this happens" or " what if that happens " stuff like that. Specifically when I wake up this is the first thought in my mind.
Semen leakage has reduced to once a week.
Frequent Urination is much better.
Weight loss I have lost 5 kgs (11 lbs) almost in these 52 days by doing brisk walk and little bit of cardio and by cleaning out my diet.

Other than this it's same as before no sign of labido what so ever, no interest in doing anything I feel like I'm dead inside don't even feel like commiting suicide lol its like I'm a zombie or something. D still feels numb and dead even with MW it feels like something is missing ( maybe because there is no arousal ).
Still can't get erection standing up
No urge to M or watch P or anything as I said before I feel like a zombie.
Keep it up. You're doing great. I was mentally a numb, desolate wasteland until after 100 days. You'll get there. Diet, exercise are key. Have you tried meditation or cold showers?
 
Hello Bro
I think wa share many of things with you except the semen leakage and my MW is like 80 to 90 % when I have a good sleep but because of anxiety this is not really case all time , what I think should be done is to increase the Testosterone level to get more desire but it is freaking I am on my 38 days
 
I am watching your convo, what other choice do we have other than just to continue our journey and hope we all recover soon
Hello Bro
I think wa share many of things with you except the semen leakage and my MW is like 80 to 90 % when I have a good sleep but because of anxiety this is not really case all time , what I think should be done is to increase the Testosterone level to get more desire but it is freaking I am on my 38 days
 
@Callmeusername I can understand what you are feeling rightnow 100% I also have suffered from depression and having Illness anxiety when these two combined it can make your life a living hell each and every second of it but this time Is definitely the lowest point in my life where I can't even think of myself as a man anymore but only thing that helped my depression in this phase of my life is praying and putting my trust in GOD and about my illness anxiety I made a timeline of my symptoms and researching about them to rule out physical causes so since I'm getting pretty good MW and it's consistent so blood flow and venous leakage can't be my issue. Other than that I can be testosterone issue or psychological so before quiting porn I was all OK and it only started after a week of quiting porn right after my panic attack so it definitely is psychological PIED. Not being able get or maintain an Erection standing up is another issue which gave deem has addressed in his video which is a clear sign of pied and conditioning. Other symptoms were also faced by other rebooters so that's a big sign that my issue is definitely PIED that helped my anxiety. I always think the worse outcome sometimes thinking that I have a brain tumor, cancer, Diabetes you name it.
 
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