Lazarus

FiveFortyFour

Active Member
Days free from...
P: 16
M: 16
O: 39

Several close calls lately. Old habits wearing down. I'm really feeling the fatigue from work lately and I can tell it's having an effect on my overall drive. Haven't run into any memorable triggers lately, at least not on the internet, so that's nice.


Tired, but alive. Almost day 40 of no O.
 

FiveFortyFour

Active Member
Days free from...
P: 20
M: 1
O: 1

I stumbled a few days ago. Had some dirty thoughts while I was trying to go to sleep and I started squirming, and the stimulation from that made me O. Then the day after I MO'd twice. I've been fried since then. This ain't where the line ends, of course, and I'm still glad that I went as long as I did without cracking, but I still wish I held out. Seems like the next step of the battle really is getting my wandering mind under control.
 

FiveFortyFour

Active Member
Day 0

Well... been a while, innit? I'm ashamed to admit I've fallen into the same old habits. Go a few days, then relapse, then go a few days, then relapse. I realize that there were certain daily habits I had during the time that I was reaching month-long streaks. One of them was keeping this journal here. So I'm picking this old thing back up again, and we'll see if it helps. I'm hopeful that it will. :)
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Day 0

Well... been a while, innit? I'm ashamed to admit I've fallen into the same old habits. Go a few days, then relapse, then go a few days, then relapse. I realize that there were certain daily habits I had during the time that I was reaching month-long streaks. One of them was keeping this journal here. So I'm picking this old thing back up again, and we'll see if it helps. I'm hopeful that it will. :)
Same bro :(
 

FiveFortyFour

Active Member
Day 0 (again, smh)

Relapsed before managing to drag my behind outta bed last night. Sucks, although the timing feels oddly proper. Maybe that, in addition to me coming back here, is the wake-up call I need. I got complacent. Sloppy. Lazy. Time to take back some ground.

Anyway, other than that, no major hiccups today. I've just been trying to keep my thoughts collected and my eyes peeled for anything that might chip away at my foundation. I hope all of you who end up reading this are doing well in your efforts. Remember, it won't be easy, but it will be worth it. I believe in you, king. 👑
 

cheeseck

Member
Day 0 (again, smh)

Relapsed before managing to drag my behind outta bed last night. Sucks, although the timing feels oddly proper. Maybe that, in addition to me coming back here, is the wake-up call I need. I got complacent. Sloppy. Lazy. Time to take back some ground.

Anyway, other than that, no major hiccups today. I've just been trying to keep my thoughts collected and my eyes peeled for anything that might chip away at my foundation. I hope all of you who end up reading this are doing well in your efforts. Remember, it won't be easy, but it will be worth it. I believe in you, king. 👑
Hey King,

I just read your whole thread and I feel like you have great dedication but where you lack is when you lay in bed idle, with your phone in your hand. If this is correct, then let me tell you I am in the same boat. but I have done some changes that helped me.

1) I intentionally keep my phone away from me before I hop into bed. keep it far enough that you would have to get out of your comfort zone i.e being in your comforter and walk and grab it. (I would hate to get out of bed when i am cozy). Also unfollow all the ig girls who are trying to get your attention. Your attention is their money!

2) CHANGE where you sleep. Your brain associates PMO when you hit the same bed every day. so even before you're not in bed but approaching your old bed, the brain thinks it's going to get the dopamine rush anytime soon. SO I would change my bed orientation in the room or just sleep in an entirely different area (and try your best to not PMO in the new area. DO NOT let your brain associate the new area to getting a Dopamine rush). This is much like when you sit at your desk and somehow get more work done than when you sit on your comfy couch you get it?

3) If you can't sleep at night without PMO or watching P, then get out of bed and sit and watch a movie or something else. It is better to not sleep 1 night than relapsing or thinking out P. You'll automatically fall asleep the next day since you would have sleep deprived. Alternatively, you can take melatonin pills to help regulate sleep. (you can do more research on it. But it a very safe medication that helps sleep well.)

and finally yes, keep checking in daily for a while until you no longer need it. Follow me as well to learn my journey. I got into this when I realized I have PIED. I do have an analytical mindset so I tend to intentionally analyse the negative impacts the brain has and associate it with PMO = BAD. But I agree that talking is easier than actually achieving it. So I am here to prove myself that I can do this! and so can you bro.
 

FiveFortyFour

Active Member
Hey King,

I just read your whole thread and I feel like you have great dedication but where you lack is when you lay in bed idle, with your phone in your hand. If this is correct, then let me tell you I am in the same boat. but I have done some changes that helped me.

1) I intentionally keep my phone away from me before I hop into bed. keep it far enough that you would have to get out of your comfort zone i.e being in your comforter and walk and grab it. (I would hate to get out of bed when i am cozy). Also unfollow all the ig girls who are trying to get your attention. Your attention is their money!

2) CHANGE where you sleep. Your brain associates PMO when you hit the same bed every day. so even before you're not in bed but approaching your old bed, the brain thinks it's going to get the dopamine rush anytime soon. SO I would change my bed orientation in the room or just sleep in an entirely different area (and try your best to not PMO in the new area. DO NOT let your brain associate the new area to getting a Dopamine rush). This is much like when you sit at your desk and somehow get more work done than when you sit on your comfy couch you get it?

3) If you can't sleep at night without PMO or watching P, then get out of bed and sit and watch a movie or something else. It is better to not sleep 1 night than relapsing or thinking out P. You'll automatically fall asleep the next day since you would have sleep deprived. Alternatively, you can take melatonin pills to help regulate sleep. (you can do more research on it. But it a very safe medication that helps sleep well.)

and finally yes, keep checking in daily for a while until you no longer need it. Follow me as well to learn my journey. I got into this when I realized I have PIED. I do have an analytical mindset so I tend to intentionally analyse the negative impacts the brain has and associate it with PMO = BAD. But I agree that talking is easier than actually achieving it. So I am here to prove myself that I can do this! and so can you bro.
Well lucky me, I don't follow any IG girls or really use social media all that much, aside from some Christian discord servers. Think I will reorient my bed a little though, see what that does. Thanks, homie.
 

FiveFortyFour

Active Member
Day 1

Long shift last night, followed by a mighty fine Sunday sermon. I turned my bed around 90 degrees; it feels more snug now, oddly. Plus it freed up room to reorient my couch and chair. All good so far.
 

cheeseck

Member
Day 1

Long shift last night, followed by a mighty fine Sunday sermon. I turned my bed around 90 degrees; it feels more snug now, oddly. Plus it freed up room to reorient my couch and chair. All good so far.
That’s awesome. Don’t let this new orientation be a trigger now! Let’s goo! I had a productive morning. Cold showers and decided to pray helps calm me from within.
 

FiveFortyFour

Active Member
Day 2

I had last night off. Usually nights off are the worst days for me since it's tough to find ways to stay preoccupied, but I didn't PMO at all. I did have to wrangle my mind away from a few fantasies though.

Spent way too much time today gaming. I'm still waiting on some books I ordered to arrive; hopefully those get here soon.
 

FiveFortyFour

Active Member
Day 3

A real mother-trucker of a shift last night. Feeling mighty tired. Haven't had much free time today.

Yesterday, while I was trying to go to sleep, I M'd a little. I still want to avoid even that. Today, I'm just going to try and focus on why I'm in bed in the first place: to sleep. We'll see what fruit that bears, though I'm hopeful.

Good luck in your own efforts, gentlemen.
 

FiveFortyFour

Active Member
This isn't a daily journal update, this is just me venting. I woke up tonight and fantasized again. M'd. I really need to stop this. My mind just goes so off the rails.
 
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