I am destroying myself

[anonymous_another]

I am a porn addict since 13 years. I am 25 years old now. I have even developed premature ejaculation because of this. I can just ejaculate within 5 to 10 secs without even watching porn if I want to. Such a serious health condition. But I did start my reboot journey long ago. Every time I fail. I try to avoid almost every distraction as much as possible and even did have some replacement activities (Gabe's video tips were really helpful - that 5 step process). So I quit this thing and then after a month or 2 all of a sudden, I get strong cravings, uncontrollable desire and I go back to this thing again. Can somebody teach me what to do and how to achieve a successful reboot. I am even delaying my marriage for the fear of disappointment with my wife out of this PE I have developed. Basically I am a good person. I never hurt anyone, but people do hurt me sometimes.. All I wanted to achieve is to live a sin-free life. This filthy thing was actually taught to me in my childhood by a close person. And since then I am suffering.

I am ready to sacrifice anything to recover from this addiction. I am even thinking of supporting you guys through patreon. Pls for Gods sake, show me a way to transform myself, some tips, warnings, life advice. Also kindly tell me if my PE is curable and is there any hope for it.

NOTE: I was again watching this thing recently some minutes ago. But while watching I was edging and then suddenly I started asking questions to myself. Why am I doing this. Why I am a chasing for things which are not real and destroying myself with temporary pleasures? I know that this P**n is not real and it is edited and photoshopped and enhanced for viewers. People suffering behind the scenes living in guilt and shame for money and some people for lusts and desires and more shameless people like me are watching this.

Thanks in advance and my prayers to you for all good..

 

[Fappy]

Hi,
First of all welcome to the forum! You’re sure to get a lot of help here.
Can you remember any specific triggers that caused the relapses in the past? This is an essential key to stopping it from happening again. If you can recognize a trigger you can quickly eliminate any urge that it may cause before it has a chance to take hold.
Alsk get yourself a copy of the book Your Brain on Porn, it’s an invaluable guide to getting you through this shit and fully recovering.
Just remember, you CAN get your life back and be free from porn addiction and all it’s horrors. If you’re determined, intelligent, and diligent in your reboot you will succeed.

 

[LUCAS VIEIRA]

Hello, a tip, every time you see the uncontrollable and extreme urge to masturbate, think about the displeasure and not the pleasure, think about the horrible feeling you will have after masturbation, think about your progress and personal evolution, if none of this solves , just leave your house and go for a walk, but you need to fight with all your strength when you already have the thought in your head, don't let the thought dominate you, I know it's hard, but with a lot of strength you can!

 

[anonymous_another]

Hi,
First of all welcome to the forum! You’re sure to get a lot of help here.
Can you remember any specific triggers that caused the relapses in the past? This is an essential key to stopping it from happening again. If you can recognize a trigger you can quickly eliminate any urge that it may cause before it has a chance to take hold.
Alsk get yourself a copy of the book Your Brain on Porn, it’s an invaluable guide to getting you through this shit and fully recovering.
Just remember, you CAN get your life back and be free from porn addiction and all it’s horrors. If you’re determined, intelligent, and diligent in your reboot you will succeed.

My last relapse was so strange. I came to sleep. But was not able to sleep due to some personal stress and irritation thinking about something. So I was in a half sleepy state with a mild headache. Then after sometime, I suddenly opened my eyes and told myself, let me just watch some light stuff like beautiful or h*t women and then I landed up in this pit. But one thing I could possibly guess as a trigger was too much desire for women and thinking about them, their beauty in the recent days. You know it is a big struggle here to even get married. I think I should stop every single thing that could trigger me. Thanks for the answer. Also can you pls tell me if my PE is curable. Will it go away after my successful reboot? Or should I take any steps for that?

 

[anonymous_another]

Hello, a tip, every time you see the uncontrollable and extreme urge to masturbate, think about the displeasure and not the pleasure, think about the horrible feeling you will have after masturbation, think about your progress and personal evolution, if none of this solves , just leave your house and go for a walk, but you need to fight with all your strength when you already have the thought in your head, don't let the thought dominate you, I know it's hard, but with a lot of strength you can!

Thanks. Yes I know. But honestly I tried my best this time. I don't know why all of a sudden I failed. I lost presence of mind. I was quick. I should have prepared to meet the day 30 and above, cause that is where the struggle intensifies. I am thinking of going into hard mode this time. Either win or die suffering in pain of recovery. But no relapse. I am totally f****d up. My anger and frustration is in top level. But just being patient and convincing myself since morning. I just dont even want to come near this stupid trap. Because once I am in the circle, it is uncontrollable. Really hard and uncontrollable. There is no turning back at this point inside the circle. So all I have to do is to stay away from that circle. Also pls tell me if this PE will go away if I rewire my brain?

 

[LUCAS VIEIRA]

Thanks. Yes I know. But honestly I tried my best this time. I don't know why all of a sudden I failed. I lost presence of mind. I was quick. I should have prepared to meet the day 30 and above, cause that is where the struggle intensifies. I am thinking of going into hard mode this time. Either win or die suffering in pain of recovery. But no relapse. I am totally f****d up. My anger and frustration is in top level. But just being patient and convincing myself since morning. I just dont even want to come near this stupid trap. Because once I am in the circle, it is uncontrollable. Really hard and uncontrollable. There is no turning back at this point inside the circle. So all I have to do is to stay away from that circle. Also pls tell me if this PE will go away if I rewire my brain?

For sure, the cause of premature ejaculation is due to the use of pornographic material, there are several reports on this forum of people who developed premature ejaculation because of pornography and then cured themselves by practicing nofap.

 

[Light fetnos]

If the desires are really that uncontrollable, then simply make technology inaccessible for 200days maybe? for as long as it takes to at least get ride of the PE, then get married straight away, by the time u get married u will have someone to actually use your desires with, it is sad to see that a lot of us are selling our bodies and real pleasure with the worst trade off that will result in depression, ED, PE...the list is indeed long.
here are some tips:
1. get a cat and a pigeon that u would put in the place where u usually relapse. this way at least u have someone looking whnvr u wanna watch it, maybe shame will be stronger and u wouldn't do it
2. get ride of porn and make it impossible to access.
3. A way to block porn on ur phone:
1. Download applock master from playstore( doesnt matter which applock u use, SO LONG AS IT HAS AN **DISABLE UNINSTALL** option)
2. Get into the app put a dummy password for now, it will prompt u for ur email incase u lose ur password, SKIP THAT, u must not have access to ur password at all cost
3. Go into the apps settings and disable *unlock app with fingerprint* and enable *prevent uninstalling*
*important* : problem is that even tho u put the disable installation option u can still uninstall it using ur phone's settings app. This is why we will lock that app using the AppLock master
*important 2* when u restart ur phone, the Applock will take some time before actually blocking access to the apps unless u put in the password and this take us to our 5th step
5. Change ur phone's password(keep ur fingerprint tho), but ur not the one whose going to change it, tell someone whom u trust to change it(someone u trust), this way if u rly wanna watch, u cannot restart ur phone and quickly get into ur settings app and uninstall that app. Locking all doors of access.
6. Go back into the applock master and lock the settings App.
7. Put a LONG password of 1's and 0's that u ill forget, this way u cant access the settings app nor the applock anymore.
8. Enjoy, now when u have an urge, u can simply uninstall/disable ur browser app/whtvr has the stuff u wanna watch(as well as playstore cuz obv u can reinstall it afterwards if u dont), wait until the urge goes away, go ask the person who has the password to quickly reboot ur phone and put in the password, so that u can go into the settings app and uninstall the appLock and reinstall the browser or whtvr apps u uninstalled. After that u simply redo the process of downloading the app ect ect.
*important 3* playstore has an option where u can actually deactivate/uninstall apps from it, so disable it when u get an urge as well
Warning ur brain might trick u, so when u get an urge u gotta rush to blocking the apps, before things get worse and ur desires completely take over ur brain.
Note that if u have a computer u might wanna throw that away.
It would also help if u actually stopped using socialmedia.

again remember u are in a lucky situation,u just have to stop P for more than 100days, after that most guys start to see some results, after that u should quickly get married, this way u will have a natural + healthy way of using your desires, and then i guess porn would be less of an issue afterwards.
good luck

 

[anonymous_another]

For sure, the cause of premature ejaculation is due to the use of pornographic material, there are several reports on this forum of people who developed premature ejaculation because of pornography and then cured themselves by practicing nofap.

Thanks.. I hope this will be the last relapse of my life. Will meet you guys soon with a strong mindset next time.

 

[anonymous_another]

If the desires are really that uncontrollable, then simply make technology inaccessible for 200days maybe? for as long as it takes to at least get ride of the PE, then get married straight away, by the time u get married u will have someone to actually use your desires with, it is sad to see that a lot of us are selling our bodies and real pleasure with the worst trade off that will result in depression, ED, PE...the list is indeed long.
here are some tips:
1. get a cat and a pigeon that u would put in the place where u usually relapse. this way at least u have someone looking whnvr u wanna watch it, maybe shame will be stronger and u wouldn't do it
2. get ride of porn and make it impossible to access.
3. A way to block porn on ur phone:
1. Download applock master from playstore( doesnt matter which applock u use, SO LONG AS IT HAS AN **DISABLE UNINSTALL** option)
2. Get into the app put a dummy password for now, it will prompt u for ur email incase u lose ur password, SKIP THAT, u must not have access to ur password at all cost
3. Go into the apps settings and disable *unlock app with fingerprint* and enable *prevent uninstalling*
*important* : problem is that even tho u put the disable installation option u can still uninstall it using ur phone's settings app. This is why we will lock that app using the AppLock master
*important 2* when u restart ur phone, the Applock will take some time before actually blocking access to the apps unless u put in the password and this take us to our 5th step
5. Change ur phone's password(keep ur fingerprint tho), but ur not the one whose going to change it, tell someone whom u trust to change it(someone u trust), this way if u rly wanna watch, u cannot restart ur phone and quickly get into ur settings app and uninstall that app. Locking all doors of access.
6. Go back into the applock master and lock the settings App.
7. Put a LONG password of 1's and 0's that u ill forget, this way u cant access the settings app nor the applock anymore.
8. Enjoy, now when u have an urge, u can simply uninstall/disable ur browser app/whtvr has the stuff u wanna watch(as well as playstore cuz obv u can reinstall it afterwards if u dont), wait until the urge goes away, go ask the person who has the password to quickly reboot ur phone and put in the password, so that u can go into the settings app and uninstall the appLock and reinstall the browser or whtvr apps u uninstalled. After that u simply redo the process of downloading the app ect ect.
*important 3* playstore has an option where u can actually deactivate/uninstall apps from it, so disable it when u get an urge as well
Warning ur brain might trick u, so when u get an urge u gotta rush to blocking the apps, before things get worse and ur desires completely take over ur brain.
Note that if u have a computer u might wanna throw that away.
It would also help if u actually stopped using socialmedia.

again remember u are in a lucky situation,u just have to stop P for more than 100days, after that most guys start to see some results, after that u should quickly get married, this way u will have a natural + healthy way of using your desires, and then i guess porn would be less of an issue afterwards.
good luck

Thanks. That sounds perfect for cases like me. Making technology inaccessible for n days. Those words are giving me hope and the feel of victory. Btw, the tricky part is, I am a software developer primarily working on web development and I can't just make tech inaccessible completely. But I can make it to an extent that it will become very difficult for me to reach this filth again. I loves that cat and pegion thing . Was actually thinking of buying a pair of love birds last week before relapse. Think I have to do it now atleast.

 

[Light fetnos]

Thanks. That sounds perfect for cases like me. Making technology inaccessible for n days. Those words are giving me hope and the feel of victory. Btw, the tricky part is, I am a software developer primarily working on web development and I can't just make tech inaccessible completely. But I can make it to an extent that it will become very difficult for me to reach this filth again. I loves that cat and pegion thing . Was actually thinking of buying a pair of love birds last week before relapse. Think I have to do it now atleast.

Ouch dude web development, im there too, and boy the industry isn't in our favor, everything just triggers the desires, all websites/courses/tutorials have at least some element lol.

 

[Fappy]

Thanks. Yes I know. But honestly I tried my best this time. I don't know why all of a sudden I failed. I lost presence of mind. I was quick. I should have prepared to meet the day 30 and above, cause that is where the struggle intensifies. I am thinking of going into hard mode this time. Either win or die suffering in pain of recovery. But no relapse. I am totally f****d up. My anger and frustration is in top level. But just being patient and convincing myself since morning. I just dont even want to come near this stupid trap. Because once I am in the circle, it is uncontrollable. Really hard and uncontrollable. There is no turning back at this point inside the circle. So all I have to do is to stay away from that circle. Also pls tell me if this PE will go away if I rewire my brain?

It definitely will go away if you rewire your brain.

 

[anonymous_another]

It definitely will go away if you rewire your brain.

Noted. Thank you.