Hi everyone,
I’m Orbiter. Some of you will know me from my old journal which I felt necessary to abandon to truly move forward. If you desire to read it, you can find it here https://forum.rebootnation.org/index.php?threads/12707/
To recap, I am 38 years old, single and I been a regular user of pornography from the age of 12. Since losing my virginity at age 17, I have suffered with various forms of sexual dysfunction which gradually escalated to PIED by around 2010 or so. My use of pornography for much of my life has been compulsive by nature, escalating into areas & genres I am uncomfortable with and has repeatedly violated my beliefs, values, self-esteem & self of identity.
I can safely say this addiction has been the most destructive force in my adolescent and adult life.
Today marks roughly the 10 year anniversary since discovering yourbrainonporn.com back in late April 2012. Since then I have faced many challenges & changes in recovery and my life as a whole. I have had some successes but have so far failed in beating this addiction.
My goal is to break free from my 20-year-plus addiction to pornography. I have divided this period into what I think are sensible milestones for quitting.
QUIT PMO TIMELINE
Goal 1 - 24 hours
Goal 2 - 3 days
Goal 3 - 1 week
Goal 4 - 10 days
Goal 5 - 2 weeks
Goal 6 - 1 month
Goal 7 - 2 months
Goal 8 - 3 months
The plan over the course of these milestones is to gradually transition from breaking the addiction towards developing healthier habits & coping mechanisms in life.
I plan to reward myself upon reaching goal 3, 5, 6, 7 & 8.
NOTE 24/4/22 - The first reward will be treating myself to dinner & a movie of my choice.
MY APPROACH
1.) The Core Fundamental:
This consists of abstaining from P, MO, edging, p sub, fantasy, flashbacks, online escort searching or any other borderline behaviours.
The other, perhaps even more important area is urge control. This will be managed using the AWARE method:
A - Acceptance. Be accepting, even welcoming of the anxious feelings, urges or fantasies;
W- Watchful. Watch as an outside observer without judgment, with compassion and understanding.
A- Act. Take action on these feelings, in terms of breathing deep, staying calm in the moment.
R- Repeat. Repeat steps 1-3, until the feeling passes.
E- Expect. Know that these feelings of anxiety, triggers, or urges will come, but have an expectancy that you will handle them successfully.
The intention of this is to starve my addiction and create space in my life to take control. The measure of my well-being & potential risk for relapse will be informed by my 3 Circles chart.
2.) The Replacement:
This consists of replacement habits and activities that disrupt the addictive cycle and fill the day with more meaningful pursuits & outcomes. Morning exercise & meditation are a fundamental routine habit that has given me positive outcomes in the past. Additional activities are in my Fail Safe Chart
3.) The acceptance:
This is about the changing internal dialogue, self talk & false beliefs (known by some as the ‘brainwashing’) throughout this process. The core of this is an acceptance that I will move forward from this addiction which means leaving behind all of it’s perceived comforts and pleasures, that I have gone as far as I can living this lifestyle and need to change to move forward. Porn is no longer an option.
4.) The Additional:
For a temporary period, I will need to give up certain habits & routines that endanger the quitting process. This will be temporary & as strict as necessary. Potential things that be excessive alcohol consumption, internet on the weekend, sexually suggestive media. Using internet in the bedroom or the bathroom etc.
JOURNAL QUICK LINKS
More to come soon...
I’m Orbiter. Some of you will know me from my old journal which I felt necessary to abandon to truly move forward. If you desire to read it, you can find it here https://forum.rebootnation.org/index.php?threads/12707/
To recap, I am 38 years old, single and I been a regular user of pornography from the age of 12. Since losing my virginity at age 17, I have suffered with various forms of sexual dysfunction which gradually escalated to PIED by around 2010 or so. My use of pornography for much of my life has been compulsive by nature, escalating into areas & genres I am uncomfortable with and has repeatedly violated my beliefs, values, self-esteem & self of identity.
I can safely say this addiction has been the most destructive force in my adolescent and adult life.
Today marks roughly the 10 year anniversary since discovering yourbrainonporn.com back in late April 2012. Since then I have faced many challenges & changes in recovery and my life as a whole. I have had some successes but have so far failed in beating this addiction.
My goal is to break free from my 20-year-plus addiction to pornography. I have divided this period into what I think are sensible milestones for quitting.
QUIT PMO TIMELINE
Goal 2 - 3 days
Goal 3 - 1 week
Goal 4 - 10 days
Goal 5 - 2 weeks
Goal 6 - 1 month
Goal 7 - 2 months
Goal 8 - 3 months
The plan over the course of these milestones is to gradually transition from breaking the addiction towards developing healthier habits & coping mechanisms in life.
I plan to reward myself upon reaching goal 3, 5, 6, 7 & 8.
NOTE 24/4/22 - The first reward will be treating myself to dinner & a movie of my choice.
MY APPROACH
1.) The Core Fundamental:
This consists of abstaining from P, MO, edging, p sub, fantasy, flashbacks, online escort searching or any other borderline behaviours.
The other, perhaps even more important area is urge control. This will be managed using the AWARE method:
A - Acceptance. Be accepting, even welcoming of the anxious feelings, urges or fantasies;
W- Watchful. Watch as an outside observer without judgment, with compassion and understanding.
A- Act. Take action on these feelings, in terms of breathing deep, staying calm in the moment.
R- Repeat. Repeat steps 1-3, until the feeling passes.
E- Expect. Know that these feelings of anxiety, triggers, or urges will come, but have an expectancy that you will handle them successfully.
The intention of this is to starve my addiction and create space in my life to take control. The measure of my well-being & potential risk for relapse will be informed by my 3 Circles chart.
2.) The Replacement:
This consists of replacement habits and activities that disrupt the addictive cycle and fill the day with more meaningful pursuits & outcomes. Morning exercise & meditation are a fundamental routine habit that has given me positive outcomes in the past. Additional activities are in my Fail Safe Chart
3.) The acceptance:
This is about the changing internal dialogue, self talk & false beliefs (known by some as the ‘brainwashing’) throughout this process. The core of this is an acceptance that I will move forward from this addiction which means leaving behind all of it’s perceived comforts and pleasures, that I have gone as far as I can living this lifestyle and need to change to move forward. Porn is no longer an option.
4.) The Additional:
For a temporary period, I will need to give up certain habits & routines that endanger the quitting process. This will be temporary & as strict as necessary. Potential things that be excessive alcohol consumption, internet on the weekend, sexually suggestive media. Using internet in the bedroom or the bathroom etc.
JOURNAL QUICK LINKS
- Three 'Circle' Chart - https://forum.rebootnation.org/index.php?threads/22103/post-236520
More to come soon...
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