Positive vibes

[Badlands]

It’s been almost 3 weeks since my fiancé started his reboot and things have been really good
I still have anxiety and I’m trying to trust him as much as possible, I went away for a girls night with my cousin . I had a little anxiety but it was ok and when I got home he was super excited to see me ( EXCITED) finally I have what I’ve wanted and that’s to BE wanted and desired.
im really hoping he continues without this bullshit
Cause he’s much better person and seems happier and funnier and more out going since he admitted to himself he has a problem and got rid of the issue.

 

[Sammyjo]

Good morning Badlands, I am happy for you and understand your hope for continued bullshitlessness! My story is long and makes me want to puke and cry when I try to write about it. Suffice it to say my husband is trying to quit cold turkey, no help other than reading "Love You Hate the Porn". That book (and him finding me in a ball sobbing) seems to have (at least temporarily) opened his eyes.

We had some very intense talks over the weekend after reading the book. We actually talked ALL NIGHT Saturday. He listened intently without deflection, and he share a lot which I'm sure was uncomfortable. It temporarily soothed me. We had a great day Sunday but I woke up in the middle of the night filled with that sick feeling (probably because I know what he share with me is just the tip of the iceberg and I'm worried that without help we will end up right back in this boat). I REALLY want that feeling to go away and stay away! I am thinking about starting a journal here, I'm just not sure if it's going to help me sort through my feelings on this or if it's just going to get me (more) hyper focused on what scares me.

I have mentioned that I want to watch "Your Brain On Porn: with him and he didn't object, hopefully it will further open his eyes as it did for your fiancé.

Best wishes to you and your fiancé for continued bullshitlessness!

 

[Badlands]

My fiancé also wants to quit cold turkey
I blocked everything on his phone and iPad
It has parental locks and codes
Uhm I’m worried as fuck 90% of the time but trying to be positive. I’m still waiting for him to make an appointment with a therapist but people are stubborn and I’m hoping he makes the right choice on his own.
i do think that the same , he’s seen me crying hysterically I’ve passed out from hyperventilating and ended up with a concussion. 2 miscarriages and and massive panic attacks , hospitalized from anxiety attacks and now for the first time anxiety medication.
He actually ruined my life and I hated him for a hot minute, couldn’t stand to even look at him.
made me sick.
we listened to yourbrainonporn and it was a real eye opener .
Honestly he didn’t admit he had a problem till he got desperate and was M to YouTube booty videos rather than sex . And it listed all the P subs and other shit they do and he scared himself cause he’s already had ED for 10 plus years and he’s only 27. So knowing his Dick was legit useless I believe snapped him out of it
He’s doing a really great job and over all happier. I’m very proud of him even tho he still tries to fight me sometimes on things and gets bitchy!
do whatever makes you comfortable and if he isn’t willing to do it for you both
Fuck him, this shit is real and scary

 

[Gracie]

Sammyjo that book is what opened our talking years ago. Without Love You Hate the Porn we would be apart. The pain was so great. It does me good to see women back on the forum. I have been here since this one started in 2014. Please share here and share often. I have a lot of knowledge about how My husband and I were able to get through, Thanks fo reaching out Badlands and SammyJo.

 

[Sammyjo]

Sammyjo that book is what opened our talking years ago. Without Love You Hate the Porn we would be apart. The pain was so great. It does me good to see women back on the forum. I have been here since this one started in 2014. Please share here and share often. I have a lot of knowledge about how My husband and I were able to get through, Thanks fo reaching out Badlands and SammyJo.

Hi Gracie, I took that lead (reading the book) from you, and THANK YOU! It was a good first step.

 

[Cassy0110]

I hope you both we'll be okey

 

[GrateClips]

i told my own wife that i welcome her to hold me accountable. but ultimately we both know only time will help heal our hurts and trust has to be earned.

Blocking the porn etc is a good step but in my opinion is no different than just pouring bottles of alcohol down the sink in an alcoholic's home - its a symbolic gesture. ultimately something deeper is feeding the addiction and only once that why and what is identified and treated will there be true growth. Even a 90 day reboot will not fix everything.

i wish you the best.