Erasing the first hit of dopamine

Currently on day 6. My two streaks highest streaks were 60 and 37 days. I remember losing control of myself when I was sitting in front of laptop when mind was so fidgety that I opened up the private window and started searching in a span on 6 seconds. The reaction in my experience was automatic. I have been trying to quit, but have been measuring my progress in the form of days and that doesn't work. However, I averaged 15 days for about an year excluding the 60th and 37th. It was in the last year and not able to quit it in every attempt made so far, just reveals how deep this addiction is ingrained. I just want to put up a fight this time with those automatic responses, to be freed of this new drug. I have seen tremendous progress in the last year of my life where I was just fixing up all aspects of myself. I cleared all those exams which I failed and graduated, taught myself coding, increased my studying capacity to about 8 hrs a day (focused mode) and rekindled interest in learning, completed a few certifications on coursera, and finally landed a job. It didn't stop there, at my company when I joined they have conducted a coding test with the condition that people clearing it get a pay-rise. I have cleared it and expected to get a pay-rise of 100% all within the first month of my job. I take no credit, because the reality is abstaining from PMO has improved my motivational levels to change and fix things last year. I just want to feel how eradicating it completely, would restore my functionality in life in general.
 
Keep it up, focus on yourself, with the passage of time even if you relapse, if you are focused on getting better, these automatic impulses disappear, congratulations on the achievements you had in the course of your journey without pornography
 
I use all my devices in the living room, never allow myself alone in the bedroom with a device for my ongoing streak. Learned my lessons from the past failures. I am serious about the fight this time. My form of sexual stimulation are images and not videos, so I am not into extreme material. It's all amateur images clicked from their phones. Seems like my mind enjoys the curiosity, suspense on what am gonna find on next photo. This little enjoyment is affecting my confidence when I face girls face-to-face. Not in perspective of getting laid but I tend to value and respect them more without any need of it, losing myself in the process. I never laid out all the wrong ways in which porn is affecting me, which would obviously help, but I deep down know the lie i am living. My core survival instinct has been tricked by the novelty which is available, keeping my serotonin stable and sane. It's like my mind doesn't feel any sort of pain at all when I try contemplating the ill-effects. The mind believes that there's no pain, and god that's deadening. How do I teach myself to feel pain? By not having cooked-up serotonin I guess.
 
Keep it up, focus on yourself, with the passage of time even if you relapse, if you are focused on getting better, these automatic impulses disappear, congratulations on the achievements you had in the course of your journey without pornography
Thank you Lucas for your kind words, I think the only way through is to resist the impulses in the moment. This little pleasure is something that our minds always remember, atleast in recovery. I hope you are doing well on your journey and wish you good luck!

I was reading up a book named "Treating pornography addiction", in this book the author explains something called "Reaction Sequence". He goes on to explain, that unlike other drugs, in this drugs we get high on our own chemicals and that a single thought can fire up those chemicals taking control of your next thought, emotions (making you horny) and the funny little thing is you are high on your own chemicals. As sad as it can get.
 
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Day 8 update

Was having strong urges to take a peek at boobies. Was resisting hard. Wondered if it was because of the sexual tension, and it struck me that I never masturbated without porn after discovering it. I thought it would reduce my urges too. So went ahead with it, and OMG I didn't feel shame, or feeling that I am a loser and all the self-hate that follows, I did not feel any of it. I felt surprised on how it felt without porn. There was no getting high, no Mt. Everest dopamine hit to get horny. The brain's calm and soothing without that rush of dopamine. The only tricky part however was I thought my urges would subside, but they didn't. I was still having urges to get a glimpse of naked women, but the only thing is I didn't have to fight as hard as I did with my sexual tension inside. The urges remain, but with less intensity.
 
Sorry Guys for not being active, I relapsed and was so angry that I didn't wanna come back here. I relapsed again after a 5 day streak and needed something solid. I got a copy of 'Porn-Free' and it was an amazing book. The author explains the addiction well and he doesn't actually solve your problem but gives you insights the scientific books don't provide. Currently I am on 27+ days, sorry for not giving the exact number I didn't count. I am mostly away from home and never alone with my device. I just work at a public place and it's kinda like a 'Study room' sort of thing.
Women here always notice something in me, and I am able to keep up the conversations and the 'game' interesting, importantly without any effort. Yesterday went out with a couple of girls from this place to an Italian restaurant, there weren't any of boys with me and trust me that makes looking interesting difficult, and guys, A couple of things:
1) I was not nervous, I had the confidence I can handle it.
2) It was effortless to converse with them and to do it for a couple of hours, was the greatest thing I pulled off yesterday after being productive for 8 hrs.

Bois, the attraction and 'game' is still intact. Wohooo!

Speaking of the struggle, I have had urges but I managed them. People say like you get some massive urges, I still don't know if I have the willpower to handle them but the confidence is rising, Let's see! Again, Sorry Guys for not being active, relapse kills me from inside. Hope you can understand
 
Ok guys I have a girlfriend now and I am on 45 days+. Explained her my addiction struggle and looks like she will support me. Told her about what a semen is to a man who retains it and seems like she understands that too. Finally I have a partner who is ready to be an accountability partner too. Now that I am not single, I feel I can't be careless anymore because if I relapse I am not hurting myself "alone" this time. Let's see how does my approach change. Will keep you guys posted. It's 45+ days of SR, nofap is pointless imo. I don't have that many urges with a commitment to a girl but I have seen stories of wives complaining so I would still consider myself an addict, to be on the safer side. I wish I get to stage to say confidently I'm not. Love you guys!
 
Nice to be back here. On a 60 day+ I believe. Morning wood and boners are back! Going good in life. Semen inside helps. Don't plan on having sex with my GF anytime soon because I need the energy to power through my career and make something out of this life. I am still a virgin so having not entered the world of vaginas, I'll just try not become a pleasure-seeker. In any instance, love eases the things but if you are sincere to yourself with your love. Luckily I did not meet a needy girl, she is happy by herself and I am happy by myself so by the conversations I could feel the road to sex is somewhere around November and I just hope I don't burst it in my room. I feel extremely energetic and have been racking up small wins in life so it's going good. Haven't had any temptations towards porn recently and I did tell her that I am a porn addict, also my confidence is high and just gonna use this energy to propel a career change. I also feel, if I am able to hold it in till November I will be a man I admire. Had a non dreamy nocturnal emission 10 days back, felt shit for a couple of days and intense urges due to chaser effect and got back on track later. Hope you guys are doing good, I love you guys and Good luck!

I also showed her snippets of "Why you should not masturbate - David Baldwin" just to make it a little difficult for myself to not masturbate. Uhhh....to put it the right way he explains how your marital sex life is affected because of it, how semen nourishes you, ideal sex-life for a man and how harmful is masturbation and pointless sex. I feel my battle is now masturbation but come on' can't eliminate porn completely. My aim is to get to 90 days first and from there I am happy to rack in days. I now hurt my girl if I masturbate. Haha! Give that book a read guys, you can download a copy with a little searching on google. Take Care!
 
Somewhere between 70-75 days. Any suggestions on what to expect ahead and help retain? I recently had these random urges recently but I did not give in. Morning wood is back since day 50. I would like some tips from people who have walked this path ahead
 
Checking in 80+ . I had the biggest boner which upon seeing, surprised me. Without any stimuli. I need to sit down and think what changed. I am a different person, I can feel it when I itself walk. I have been sleeping 5hrs from a couple of weeks but still get through the day even after I workout. I will write a proper post guys. I want to thank you guys for everything, I mean it.

Anyone can confirm if mantak chia's methods work? Any other recommendations are welcome.
 
90+ semen is lubricant to life. Good things started happening ever since I fought against watching porn. Great 2 years it has been. What else can i say? Feeling grateful at the moment.

Maybe call it a "benefit" and rejoice doing this. Ok bye. Will be coming back again.
 
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