Another story - probably the same as everyone else
- Thread starter GBS
- Start date
GBS
Respected Member
1,155 days sober
15 days no MO
Been a bit absent from here recently. Not much to say. Just carrying on. Sometimes when I think the intimacy is about to come back, it stalls. At one level very manageable, at another a bit depressing. But I am in this playing the long game, and so one has no option but to persevere.
15 days no MO
Been a bit absent from here recently. Not much to say. Just carrying on. Sometimes when I think the intimacy is about to come back, it stalls. At one level very manageable, at another a bit depressing. But I am in this playing the long game, and so one has no option but to persevere.
GBS
Respected Member
GBS
Respected Member
1,160 days sober
20 days no MO
Had an interesting discussion with a good friend about mental cleanliness as regards pornography. Can one actually be “clean” or is the damage we did our brain so bad that scars and scabs remain and we will always pick at them? Now I have a feeling this could be a deep discussion and no one would be able to prove anything. So it is probably psychological. I am 3 years 2 months free from porn. Am I clean? Dangerous possibly to say such a thing (recovering alcoholics never say they’re recovered) and yet not treating recovery as a slog and a daily battle removes anxiety and brings in a key word: serenity.
I strongly believe it’s about forming really good habits and disciplines without dwelling on those habits. Just do them. Leave porn in your wake, when it’s gone….it’s gone. Hello nice brain. Been a while. How ya doing? Great thanks. Loving the new you!
GBS
20 days no MO
Had an interesting discussion with a good friend about mental cleanliness as regards pornography. Can one actually be “clean” or is the damage we did our brain so bad that scars and scabs remain and we will always pick at them? Now I have a feeling this could be a deep discussion and no one would be able to prove anything. So it is probably psychological. I am 3 years 2 months free from porn. Am I clean? Dangerous possibly to say such a thing (recovering alcoholics never say they’re recovered) and yet not treating recovery as a slog and a daily battle removes anxiety and brings in a key word: serenity.
I strongly believe it’s about forming really good habits and disciplines without dwelling on those habits. Just do them. Leave porn in your wake, when it’s gone….it’s gone. Hello nice brain. Been a while. How ya doing? Great thanks. Loving the new you!
GBS
Toward your prior post, think: neuroplasticity! The brain changes with behavioral change. The brain adapts, and takes on the new personae that we wish and strive to be. Sure, old neural pathways may yet be present, but they're all but dormant, or 'deadened'. If old behaviors were reengaged, then there's the potential for a resensitization of these pathways. Otherwise, the newer pathways of healthier habits hold sway, and are predominant.
GBS
Respected Member
Hello mate, haven’t heard from you in a while. Thanks for the above, helpful. I recall Dr Gary Wilson majoring on neuroplasticity. You’re bang right of course. It can feel psychological the change, but it is actually physical. Thanks and I hope all good with you.
1,163 days sober
23 days no MO
Percival
Active Member
I liked what you and @Phineas 808 said. I doubt the neural pathways ever quite go away, but the brain does change (not as fast as we'd like, but...). I can tell a change after only a week or two away, and even more when it's been longer. So, again, we're not a slave to our past decisions and we can change.
GBS
Respected Member
1,169 days sober
4 days no MO
Had a massive weekend with a huge concert on Saturday. Sunday then was one of recovery but ended up having a slight argument with the wife which is not resolved yet. I am being tested.
4 days no MO
Thanks @Percival . You’re absolutely right, the brain does change. It’s physical. Several billion neural pathways are not as they used to be. They possibly want to be reactivated, but I won’t let them be.
Had a massive weekend with a huge concert on Saturday. Sunday then was one of recovery but ended up having a slight argument with the wife which is not resolved yet. I am being tested.
