Another story - probably the same as everyone else


Respected Member

Thanks @Androg I hope so too.

And thanks to the mighty @Jlied - positive as always. And astute too. I often wonder - why did she say that (and don’t forget I know her better than anyone) and you provide fresh perspective. Why did she get triggered such that she thought I might just up and go? She is rooted that’s for sure. So her presuming I am “flighty” is I suppose a way to emphasise that she’s not budging and any negative reaction to that must be seen as a complete change of mind. I shall discuss with my therapist.

I had a very mild sex dream last night. Can’t (sadly) remember the details but it was just me and my wife and that’s really encouraging that my brain didn’t unearth something more fanciful. Good on yah, brain!

Getting towards the end of my 14th month of sobriety, and also close to my one year anniversary of being on here. No cakes required, just nice little milestones.

Stay clean bros. Life without porn is SO much better. Who knew?


Respected Member

I know this is tempting fate, but wife was really smiley and kind yesterday. I was going to say there was sexual tension but I won’t because it’s not “sexual” (and anyway that has connotations of purely physical), but I would say intimacy tension. Nothing happened. It never does. Is it frustrating. Yes, a bit. I am used to it now. Things are different though. Can’t quite say why. More relaxed friendly.

Oh…and she wore that top yesterday. You know the one….yeah, that one. Pretty nice bazoomas, huh?


Respected Member

Cuddle with wife yesterday. Nice. I touched her leg, she didn’t complain. Later I imagined we were in a full session and it elicited my tripod-esque erection. Yesterday, despite a huge hang over, was a nice day.

I won’t watch porn ever again. Not ever. It would be too hurtful to myself. I am not a masochist.


Active Member
So I know I’ve been MIA for a bit but I saw this today and immediately thought of you Geebs


Respected Member
Errr….excuse me? Is that a large cobra with weird teeth? My dentist says fuck off (very politely).


Respected Member
427 days of porn free sobriety.

Still waiting for the answer on cobragate by the way.

I think @Androg posted some article fairly freely recently about the epidemic problem. Worth searching it out. I read it. It isn’t a new train of thought, it’s just bringing back an old one. Let’s assume the perfect man hasn’t ever looked at pornography, and he adores his wife, and they have beautiful sex together. He has has many female friends and he sees them as beautiful ladies and never once does it cross his mind that they might look good naked too.

I suppose it’s not fair to say that every 20 year old has looked at porn, but probably 99% have. How many look at it, say, weekly or more. I won’t give a percentage but it’s high. How many can watch weekly and end up not in some way desensitised? No doctor will say they know the answer but I think every single person is in some way harmed. It’s truly a crisis in humanity. There will be dozens of help groups in years to come. It doesn’t get the press coverage it should.

I feel like a bore saying this all because I have said it before, but it’s too important.

Wife situation: we’re progressing to face touching. Very interesting.


Active Member
Still waiting for the answer on cobragate by the way.
Haha, no conspiracy here, just one deranged American laughing at a British stereotype. I believe we have no room to tease others about teeth here in the US. We have plenty of people here with summer teeth……summer teeth are missing 🤣😂🤣😂


Respected Member
No offence was taken my dear @Jlied . You’re right, we do have poor teeth. I had one extracted about a week after I gave up porn actually. That’s no picnic. Still not sure about the cobra, but I won’t dive deeper.

428 days sober. Also it’s been one year and 2 days on Reboot Nation. To @Gabe Deem - I owe you so much. I am just a faceless man on here, I could be spouting total bollocks and just inflating my narcissistic ego….but I’m not. I am honest. And I am clean from pornography. Not all RN’s doing I realise. I played a big part. But the network of support on here is life affirming. Sometimes in the last year when I got an urge, I would just come on here. Such a safe place.

Things are quiet here.


Active Member
Still not sure about the cobra, but I won’t dive deeper.
I think the cobra has had a massive impact on you and to minimize that would be an injustice. I think instead of repressing the uncomfortable feelings the cobra has given you we should dove into this head first. My questions to you are:

1) what was your reaction when you first saw the cobra?
2) what kind of physical reaction did your initial response create?
3) how has your reactions made you feel?
4) if the cobra was in front of you at this very moment what would you say to it?
5) does the cobra disgust you or do you take pity on it?
6) A: if you are disgusted by the cobra why?
B: if you take pity on the cobra why?
7) has the cobra reminded you of anything you see in yourself?
8) if it has reminded you of anything in yourself what is it and why did that image come to mind? How can you unpack that and free the cobra from your mind?

These are just a few questions I have for you, there will ultimately be more, but for now I’d like to have your responses and further dissect them.


Respected Member
1) the resolution of the photograph was poor, so my first reaction was “what is that thing?’
2) why can’t he find a better picture….and what’s with the teeth?
3) like I need to find a way through my Luddite infirmities and send something back that pigeon holes yanks
4) “hello Mr C, if I were you I would fuck off, my dog can get real nasty….I mean R E A L. N A S T Y
5) disgust
6) because the other option was pity, and taking pity on a venomous snake seems….err…inhuman
7) not much really. It’s a stretch to say my penis, because I do take pity on my penis
8) I think there are moments in my past that were snake like, but not cobra, more….err…..adder/grass snake. I shall unpack it thus: I wasn’t much of a snake but I was a bit. It’s not a good side of me. But it is in the past. I don’t think Brits are more snake like than any other nation, but I could be wrong. Have you been to Greece?

I await further questions

most sincerely

The Right Honourable GBS
Earl of Totalbolloxtown, Shitshowshire, United. Kingdom


Respected Member
And we move on……


Things at home a nice, that’s great. There is mild affection. No face touching as yet. Allowing my wife time to recover is a challenge that I wouldn’t have thought I could do (a year ago) if I had been told it might be two years. It isn’t two years yet, but I have to get my head round the fact that it could be. That’s a tough one. But I can do it.

I couldn’t do it however were it not for you lot. So thank you.


Sounds like you're making good progress. Daily affection is soothing for you both. It doesn't have to be touch, although that's powerfully helpful. Eye contact, flirty smiles, looking after each other selflessly in small (or large) ways. All help restore trust. Bonding behaviors, sorry...behaviours ;) , are a way to hack the primitive bonding mechanism in our neural software, as long as they're done with authentic, selfless intent.