Good luck in the interview Gibbers!
Thanks @PrometheusUnbound and @Percival - I got the job. Found out about an hour after the audition so that’s very uplifting and pleasing.Keep going, @GBS! Hope the interview went well.
Sometimes i got camplaining from my wife and i think most important is that she will be heard. So i listen, i dont explain, i say i hear this and this. Can you explain little more this. How you feel it? If i get answers and conversation i am half way to building something maybe good from that complaining. Of course i have to fix some habit or so something if (when) there is something.. keep going, everything will go good direction in our lives.Thanks @PrometheusUnbound and @Percival - I got the job. Found out about an hour after the audition so that’s very uplifting and pleasing.
950 days sober
21 days no MO
Had mini row with wife day before yesterday. She complained I am still not picking stuff up. She says she’s a maid. She has a point but it certainly isn’t how she says it is. So we were a bit combative because that’s our nature. I said we do intimacy so infrequently it feels like she sees it as a chore. She went very quiet. The argument fizzled out and we carried on our lives. She was lovely yesterday but we were very busy. Not sure what will happen today but I am guessing something will happen.
Thanks for reading this and your general stellar support everyone.
Thanks @Freerider - good advice. I will listen more. Even more.Sometimes i got camplaining from my wife and i think most important is that she will be heard. So i listen, i dont explain, i say i hear this and this. Can you explain little more this. How you feel it? If i get answers and conversation i am half way to building something maybe good from that complaining.
Thanks @Percival - being honest with oneself is so critical. Being honest to others is actually easier. I am watching out for the challenge. I am changed just not completely. The incomplete bit fights hard to stay unchanged. I shall tell it to fuck right off.Congrats on the job, @GBS! It's good that you recognize the temptations that come with the job: half the battle and all that. Changing yourself is the hardest thing that any of us will ever do.
955 days sober
26 days no MO
Massive libido and urges to MO. Resisting but using up all my powers to do that. Fantasies keep coming into my head. All good ones about wife and nothing on the deviant scale, but whilst I like them I know the fantasies are a part of the problem. I tried applying the 3 second rule to them but it just doesn’t work
Thanks @Percival - it’s quite difficult to work on not fantasising because it seems like it’s all I have, and it doesn't, in the cold light of day, seem to be too bad a crime. In fact my fantasy world has changed massively for the 2 years and seven months of my recovery, so my brain is saying “go ahead with your new soft porn wife related thoughts, way better than your mixed up thoughts of before” and that’s the problem. Still a reward dopamine related thing.I've tried fantasies about my wife too, and while they're certainly better than fantasies about other women, they're still just fantasies and not reality, and so unhelpful.
It's a big encouragement to me to see you still working at it!
I would say that my number one tip to anyone trying to change their lives by dealing with porn addiction, is realising there is no place for self pity.