Thanks @Percival - you are bang right, mate. Self discipline is the bottom line. I think my no self pity point was that as part of my armour to acquire the long term self discipline I must look out for the self pity moments. There are many of them, it’s completely normal behaviour but the key thing is not to slide into wallowing. I thank you, mateI agree, although I'd go one step farther and say that this whole journey is one of developing self-discipline. Our higher minds know that self-pity doesn't work, and neither does indulging in whatever the temptation of the moment is (which we often justify self-pityingly).
Cheers pal. Hope all good with you.I like this @GBS, thank you!
Hello @Gracie - I haven’t heard from you in a while. I am very pleased about your update above. Fewer triggers sounds like a form of freedom for you. I am also delighted you’re retired. I did so nearly 3 years ago and whilst for me it has been really a journey of recovery, it is also a wonderful thing. And thanks for your continued encouragement. I am glad there are some partners still around - it can get a little stale without you all (or should I say y’all!). Keep going, lady.Perspective that is a great word! To me it indicates vision, where I have been, where my marriage is, and my view of my husband. Then the perspective of future. Where I have been relates to being a partner and my walk through today. Where my marriage is, it is stable. My view of my husband is one of love and caring for me and our family. The future I hope is full of good surprises. My walk is much easier . I do not get triggered often. Which is the best. Still can have blips but I manage. He helps me through. We both retired this year and it is great!
Hello @DIMA-NBA - thanks very much. 1000 days will be one hell of an achievement, but honestly this is forever so the numbers are borderline irrelevant, that said I am OCD about them as you can see.It's really great to see how successful you are in battling PMO, I want to congratulate you on being close to 1000 days free from pornography! What would you say are your biggest "allies" (habits, techniques or lifestyle changes) that led you to this point?
Thanks, mate. Genuinely considering making a cake. But 1000 candles could be dangerous. Note to self: ring fire department before lighting cake.Getting close to a thousand days! Insane man. I love it.
Thanks @Blondie . Things have improved. It’s her way of coping and frankly I am adept at coping with the lashing. It’s brutal and totally unfair but in her head it’s fine. That’s not ok, but then again as we’re back on the road it is better that I take it rather than lashing back.Sorry to hear that friend.
Sounds like one of 2 things needs to happen here. Either she goes and gets some real professional help and begins to move forward or she gets told the Chinese proverb that one seeks revenge it is best to 1st dig 2 graves. Just my 2 centsThanks @Blondie . Things have improved. It’s her way of coping and frankly I am adept at coping with the lashing. It’s brutal and totally unfair but in her head it’s fine. That’s not ok, but then again as we’re back on the road it is better that I take it rather than lashing back.
970 days sober
41 days no MO
Very astute @Percival . A long LONG slow road. My higher power says just keep on walking. Like you said too…..cheers, mate.I'm glad you're not divulging details and I'm glad the tension is released. It's a long slow road but one foot in front of the other.