Another story - probably the same as everyone else

GBS

GBS

Respected Member
1,009 days sober
16 days no MO

Boys will be back from university this coming weekend = a time when my wife is not happy doing any of the vanilla intimacy things we do. And they go back to university first week in January so almost certainly going to be without anything for (what will be) a month. Feeling very sorry for myself. Then I remembered I shouldn’t feel sorry for myself and snapped out of it, then I felt sorry again….rinse and repeat. Exhausting.

Stay clean guys, it’s the only way forwards.
 
Percival

Percival

Active Member
GBS said:
1,009 days sober
16 days no MO

Boys will be back from university this coming weekend = a time when my wife is not happy doing any of the vanilla intimacy things we do. And they go back to university first week in January so almost certainly going to be without anything for (what will be) a month. Feeling very sorry for myself. Then I remembered I shouldn’t feel sorry for myself and snapped out of it, then I felt sorry again….rinse and repeat. Exhausting.

Stay clean guys, it’s the only way forwards.
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Which is perfectly normal, both the feeling sorry for yourself and the going back and forth. But you've anticipated the problem and can be prepared, which is much better than being blindsided, although it doesn't make it easy.
 
GBS

GBS

Respected Member
Percival said:
Which is perfectly normal, both the feeling sorry for yourself and the going back and forth. But you've anticipated the problem and can be prepared, which is much better than being blindsided, although it doesn't make it easy.
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Thanks @Percival - that’s helpful. It’s sometimes just nice to be reminded that one’s feelings are normal even though they are not ideal. Perfect is the enemy of good. Let’s be good.

1,012 days sober
19 days no MO - and with the extremely low chance of intimacy, my brain is telling me I can release if I want to. Other side of brain says don’t.
 
joepanic

joepanic

Respected Member
GBS said:
1,013 days sober
20 days no MO

Wife in a foul mood yesterday. I was strong. Not actually sure how, but still.
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Because at this point you have no choice but to be strong. All of our wives get in foul moods from time to time some more than others just the way it is. Men have put up with women doing this since God talked to Moses
 
GBS

GBS

Respected Member
1,014 days sober
21 days no MO

Thanks for support @joepanic -honestly I can be in a foul mood myself sometimes so it’s just life although I think on this occasion there really was no explanation. Ironically it was followed by her being the polar opposite yesterday so things are pretty good at the moment. Bit of our vanilla intimacy (before one of our boys arrived home) and she was way more tactile yesterday evening than she has been for months. I won’t analyse any further because we humans are wonderfully unpredictable - yes, all of us.

Have a porn free Sunday gents. I know you will.
 
GBS

GBS

Respected Member
1,017 days sober
24 days no MO

Fierce attack of the fantasies last couple of days. Problem is obviously if I don’t act on it by MOing then no harm done. All true of course. Just a bit of a dilemma because the fantasies are great fun and fun of that sort is not something I have had for literally years. Well not the real thing is what I mean. It’s a first world problem I think in the Reboot world.
 
Percival

Percival

Active Member
GBS said:
1,017 days sober
24 days no MO

Fierce attack of the fantasies last couple of days. Problem is obviously if I don’t act on it by MOing then no harm done. All true of course. Just a bit of a dilemma because the fantasies are great fun and fun of that sort is not something I have had for literally years. Well not the real thing is what I mean. It’s a first world problem I think in the Reboot world.
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The fantasies really are great fun! I've (very) reluctantly come to conclude that they're nevertheless unhelpful to me, though, even when they're perfectly respectable and sometimes when they're completely SFW (which, to be honest, they usually aren't). But they direct my mind that way, and my mind is in the habit of going much farther. Your mileage may vary, of course.
 
GBS

GBS

Respected Member
Percival said:
The fantasies really are great fun! I've (very) reluctantly come to conclude that they're nevertheless unhelpful to me, though, even when they're perfectly respectable and sometimes when they're completely SFW (which, to be honest, they usually aren't). But they direct my mind that way, and my mind is in the habit of going much farther. Your mileage may vary, of course.
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Cheers mate @Percival - it’s such a shame one can’t even (really) indulge in healthy fantasy. I expect this rule definitely applies to people who have regular sex, but for those of us who don’t it feels like monk behaviour and I’m not sure if that’s what I am meant to be (while I wait). Still my core conscience tends to be the thing that decides what’s right and it says it ain’t great but don’t beat yourself up!

1,019 days sober
26 days no MO
 
GBS

GBS

Respected Member
1,022 days sober
29 days no MO

Just carrying on. Analysis of my situation has been flogged to death. I hate this phrase because it’s pointing out the obvious, but “it is what it is” and acceptance of that is just my lot in life. I am sure someone could respond and say that I have a choice to ask my wife what the problem is, but as I have done that about 20 times it seems pointless applying pressure. Just getting these nothing thoughts out of my head and onto my journal. Have a clean Christmas everyone.
 
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