GBS
Respected Member
170 days no porn. 18 days no MO.
One more thing to add re mine above. My wife thinks that any masturbation to fantasy about her is still effectively porn. The images I watched are, for her, just translated such that she’s just the body part. I get where she’s coming from although in my mind I don’t think that’s true. But whether it’s true or not, both her views on the subject and my therapist’s that absolute abstinence is the only way to reclaim who I REALLY am, is the most important thing. I don’t know if wives/partners reading this agree about all fantasy being porn driven, but do comment if so.
My recovery is mine alone. I have learned so much in 6 months. I know closing off the brain to porn was essential but thought I could have something else on the side. I am a man after all. We get strong urges and feel like we’re bursting, right? So we give in because otherwise it’s not fair on us, right? Well for me I am now convinced that gripping on tight to some way of release is a form of infidelity. It probably isn’t infidelity but if my wife thinks it is and my therapist says I won’t discover who I truly am unless I let it go, then I would be mad not to do it.
I wonder what I will be like and how long it will take. I am guessing it will be a wonderful feeling and it may take another 6 months. They won’t be the hardest 6 months of my life, they will be the best.
One more thing to add re mine above. My wife thinks that any masturbation to fantasy about her is still effectively porn. The images I watched are, for her, just translated such that she’s just the body part. I get where she’s coming from although in my mind I don’t think that’s true. But whether it’s true or not, both her views on the subject and my therapist’s that absolute abstinence is the only way to reclaim who I REALLY am, is the most important thing. I don’t know if wives/partners reading this agree about all fantasy being porn driven, but do comment if so.
My recovery is mine alone. I have learned so much in 6 months. I know closing off the brain to porn was essential but thought I could have something else on the side. I am a man after all. We get strong urges and feel like we’re bursting, right? So we give in because otherwise it’s not fair on us, right? Well for me I am now convinced that gripping on tight to some way of release is a form of infidelity. It probably isn’t infidelity but if my wife thinks it is and my therapist says I won’t discover who I truly am unless I let it go, then I would be mad not to do it.
I wonder what I will be like and how long it will take. I am guessing it will be a wonderful feeling and it may take another 6 months. They won’t be the hardest 6 months of my life, they will be the best.