Road To Recovery

Recovery Will Come

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Day 22 and 23 Week 4: 22:Week 4 started out great.. Played basketball in the am.. Went to church and met up with my cousin to go shopping at an outlet… That lasted for about 5 hours… Very productive day.. Day 23: Went to the court to shoot some hoops again.. I do this daily… After went to do some yard work to keep me busy and left to go to help move my sister out around 1:00… Very hot day.. Feel good… These days are just going by so fast I forget to post in my journal haha….I can tell progress is being made… Road to Day 90 is in full effect….
 

Recovery Will Come

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Day 24: Whoa… This day has hit me the hardest of this entire reboot so far.. Had non stop dreams of PMO… Everytime I woke up and went back to sleep a dream happened… Thought I had a wet dream too but when I woke up there was nothing… Went to the court this morning and just started playing basketball relentlessly… Got back home and about to take a shower and keep on trucking.. My brain really trying it!!! Imma soldier it out though.. God is in control.. PMO is not an option… Thanks for all the support for the last 4 weeks.. Let’s keep on trucking!!!
 

Recovery Will Come

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Day 25: Definitely in the flatline process.. No libido.. Less motivation… Low energy.. Also have a headache to add to it but imma keep on trucking!! A reboot is full of ups and downs and is a roller coaster of emotions… Gonna have good days and bad days… Definitely a slower process than my last reboot but then again that was 5 years ago when I was only 5 years into my PMO addiction compared to this year which I was 10 years in…. Nonetheless I’m more experienced now and taking back control of my life and to live the porn free godly life the way the Lord designed it… Stay motivated, self disciplined and productive!!! God bless
 

Recovery Will Come

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Day 26: Similar to Day 24 almost had a breaking point because of these dreams…Started listening to Gospel music and the urges went away and got back focused on my mission….Went straight to the basketball court and played relentlessly once more…Went to K&G and went suit shopping… Also went to the grocery store but now back home and reading success stories getting even more excited and motivated to conquer this addiction…
 

Recovery Will Come

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Having a hard time here honestly… The pleasure from the PMO days just keep calling back to me.. Damn brain is really trying to negotiate with me… About to listen to my gospel music again to help with the strong urges
 

Recovery Will Come

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Stay strong man. Talk a cold shower, go for a run, whatever it takes. It won't make you happy or feel good about yourself.
Thanks man appreciate the support.. I actually went for a walk and listened to motivational music and got my thoughts back on track….Self discipline is key.. Let’s keep on Trucking
 

Recovery Will Come

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Day 27: Got over the urges from yesterday and even this morning after another night of multiple PMO dreams….I listened to my gospel music and went straight to the basketball court.. That a good pattern that works for me my only problem is need to stay busy for the rest of the day… Still looking for a job to keep me busy during the rest of the day…. BTW does anybody still listen to the music they used to listen to before their reboots? I oddly can’t listen the same hip hop/r&b music I used to listen to without causing triggers.. That’s weird but I just decided to cut it out completely…
 
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Day 27: Got over the urges from yesterday and even this morning after another night of multiple PMO dreams….I listened to my gospel music and went straight to the basketball court.. That a good pattern that works for me my only problem is need to stay busy for the rest of the day… Still looking for a job to keep me busy during the rest of the day…. BTW does anybody still listen to the music they used to listen to before their reboots? I oddly can’t listen the same hip hop/r&b music I used to listen to without causing triggers.. That’s weird but I just decided to cut it out completely…
U should keep ur self tired, by fasting,this way ur stomach will be the main topic in your head, instead of anything else.
Good luck
 

Recovery Will Come

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U should keep ur self tired, by fasting,this way ur stomach will be the main topic in your head, instead of anything else.
Good luck
Yes I agree with keeping your self tired I always try to stay busy.. It’s funny you mentioned fasting as my cousin is doing that right now as a new Muslim…
 

Recovery Will Come

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Day 28:Had another night of PMO dreams this is the most I’ve had by far compared to my other reboots.. Got up brushed my teeth and went to the basketball court this morning once again only for about 45 minutes… Then I made a impulsive move but a brilliant one as I decided to end Week 4 with a bang by going to Six Flags for the day.. Went on all the craziest rides while noticing I can socialize better than I did…The me before the p addiction who never had social anxiety in his life until for the past decade…Got home just recently and about to wind down and go to bed.. Have a busy day tomorrow and exhausted from Six Flags.. Gonna take a COVID rapid test then about to hit the sheets.. Stay blessed and motivated everyone
 

Recovery Will Come

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Week 5: Day 29: The dreams just won’t stop lol..Got up and stuck to my daily routine..Basketball for about an hour then went to church for morning service.. Went to my Nanas afternoon Church service as well… Today June 5th was the 3rd anniversary of my cousins passing so it was a sad day for the family.. She’s in a better place though now but will forever miss her… Posting this early in the morning on day 30.. I’ve made it to a month PMO free once again… First time since 2017… 2018 to 2021 has been nothing but failed reboots that didn’t even make it past day 5 so I am truly thankful…. Stay strong everyone… PMO isn’t worth it!! No more short term highs for me!!! Let’s keep on trucking!!!
 

Recovery Will Come

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Day 31: Woke up this morning and had a dream I released then that terrible feeling after relapsing full of shame and guilt and hard work down the drain and then I woke up and was so relieved it was just a dream.. It felt so real!!! Got up said my prayers went to get some blood work done and went straight to the court once again… Just took my shower and of course went I went to grab my my thing to scrub it had a p flashback… I immediately let go and just wrinsed with the shower head but just trying to overcome that small flashback… Something so stupid has me struggling… Guess I’ll get on my knees and pray and take a walk or do some yard work… I have two interviews at the end of the week also looking forward to that.. About to move into a new house and everything if the lord willing.. So many great things happening so we gonna keep on trucking.. Once again no more short term highs for me.. I even quit smoking weed also… Everyone stay strong and stay motivated.. God bless
 

Recovery Will Come

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I know I already posted but I just noticed.. The social anxiety is slowly going away and I feel the urge to walk to a woman and socialize…. I feel it coming back slowly… This is amazing.. It’s been five years since I felt that feeling and I forgot what it felt like… That p flashback when I held my thing to scrub it is still bothering me honestly.. My brain is trying to negotiate with me but I ain’t listening! I came to far to turn back and the progress that’s been made of what I said earlier in the post… Gonna keep on trucking
 
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Ezel

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It's going to get even better RWC, great to see you killing it man. Keep crushing it my friend.
God bless you and have a great day.
Onwards.
 

Recovery Will Come

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Day 32: Holy hell…. Woke up this morning horny af… My brain is still trying to negotiate with me from yesterday… Struggling as usual… Staying busy as I can… Just a question… If you have a porn flashback coincidently while your grabbing your thing to clean it while your in the shower is that a setback in the reboot? Or is it just my anxiety and my brain trying to get me to relapse.. My anxiety would really relax if so lol…
 

Ezel

Active Member
it's not a setback, i wouldn't consider it as such. but if you did what your brain told you and give in to what it wants, like if you started fantasizing and masturbated while you are on the shower then I would consider it a relapse...

be strong recovery, like you said your brain is negotiating with you, it will make it look like a win-win situation, but trust me it's not...

all your brain wants is the dopamine kick from your relapse, it doesn't care if you relapse and watch porn. all it cares for is the dopamine, even if you lose yourself in the process...

stay strong recovery, don't get manipulated by whatever your brain is telling you, just hang in there and try to stay busy and observe your thoughts but don't act on them...

keep pushing my man
 
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