A little support because I want to become Better
- Thread starter ladysudan
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TryingHarder
Well-Known Member
Good to hear, Lady. Exercise works!
ladysudan
Active Member
How does spotify know I'm going through a bad breakup? Shit it hurts.
We broke up for good but the way things ended was so sudden and abrupt.
Has anyone felt that your personal problems just affects and adds on further more to your problems?
Ofc he was mad at me. It wasn't as if I cheated on him or something. We were just in a long distance relationship. There was a difference in our time zones. I do have busy schedule. Him hating me was a genuine reaction you would expect from anyone. But what he said was truth...bitter truth.
Maybe he is right. I push people away. I do have a fear of commitment. This might lead me to never have a stable life.
Tears!
We broke up for good but the way things ended was so sudden and abrupt.
Has anyone felt that your personal problems just affects and adds on further more to your problems?
Ofc he was mad at me. It wasn't as if I cheated on him or something. We were just in a long distance relationship. There was a difference in our time zones. I do have busy schedule. Him hating me was a genuine reaction you would expect from anyone. But what he said was truth...bitter truth.
Maybe he is right. I push people away. I do have a fear of commitment. This might lead me to never have a stable life.
Tears!
Daybyday1988
Active Member
While im sure P addiction has made this worse, i think it is imperative to consider the modern dating landscape as a whole in order to do the exact polar opposite. My wife and i had a long distance relationship before getting married (im from Boston she is from Brazil) so I know how you feel about long distance.
@ ladysudan
Hey, after reading all this i wanted to share my experience with you.
I started my journey in January 2022. Ihave been a porn addict and since then i've relapsed more than 50 times but if i add those few days i was able to control myself, then i can confidently say that all my hardwork and patience have paid off. Now i can realise that it's not necessary to have straight 90-100 days streak at the beginning, but the thing that matters a lot is your consistency. Don't get demotivated after you relapse but instead push yourself harder next time! And if it's becoming hard for you to maintain your streak then i would suggest you to put all your life goals aside and make nofap ( or no pmo) your goal of the life. Because once you will be successful in achieving this, then automatically you will be motivated to go with your other goals. Just try your best and never give up. Whenever you feel an urge just go on youtube and watch some nofap moivation videos. And if you are maintaining a journal then quickly go through it and remember the longest streak you made by defeated the devil inside you. Make nofap your habit. When you will try again and again, then eventually you can achieve a streak you never thought you can achieve!
One day i was searching for some videos related to nofap on youtube and i found a TED talk that really changed my life and helped me a lot in beating this addiction. And i would like to recommend it to you -
. The two thing that i learnt from this video was :- firstly, accept that you are a porn addict and secondly, make nofap ( or no pmo) your goal of the life (as i mentioned earlier).
Now whenever you get an urge then just ask yourself that what kind of person you want to be ? A person who is addicted to porn and living a shitty life with no goals and dreams? or a successful person who is living a damn luxurious life? It's all your choice.
Goodluck!
Hey, after reading all this i wanted to share my experience with you.
I started my journey in January 2022. Ihave been a porn addict and since then i've relapsed more than 50 times but if i add those few days i was able to control myself, then i can confidently say that all my hardwork and patience have paid off. Now i can realise that it's not necessary to have straight 90-100 days streak at the beginning, but the thing that matters a lot is your consistency. Don't get demotivated after you relapse but instead push yourself harder next time! And if it's becoming hard for you to maintain your streak then i would suggest you to put all your life goals aside and make nofap ( or no pmo) your goal of the life. Because once you will be successful in achieving this, then automatically you will be motivated to go with your other goals. Just try your best and never give up. Whenever you feel an urge just go on youtube and watch some nofap moivation videos. And if you are maintaining a journal then quickly go through it and remember the longest streak you made by defeated the devil inside you. Make nofap your habit. When you will try again and again, then eventually you can achieve a streak you never thought you can achieve!
One day i was searching for some videos related to nofap on youtube and i found a TED talk that really changed my life and helped me a lot in beating this addiction. And i would like to recommend it to you -
Now whenever you get an urge then just ask yourself that what kind of person you want to be ? A person who is addicted to porn and living a shitty life with no goals and dreams? or a successful person who is living a damn luxurious life? It's all your choice.
Goodluck!
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ladysudan
Active Member
I disappeared for 37 days and I am sorry for that. But A lot had happened so much.
I had my 1st semester exams. I was developing feelings for my guy best friend. We would generally joke so much and in those 7 days after my exam where we were given leave, I was missing him and his jokes. I couldnt hold my feelings anymore so I confessed. He still is my friend. But there indeed is some awkwardness between us. I love his humor and I wish I could hold his hand and run my fingers through his hair while I stare at his eyes. But I cant. He just doesnt feel the same and Im fine by that.
Theres another person who secretly likes me. He does get worried when I skip meals. Hes nice but then theres a 10 year age gap between us.
Ugh enough of likings and blushings and blah blah blah.
Im more focused than ever.
I have never been excited regarding life so much.
I feel energetic and enthusiastic every day.
Theres a passion within me to learn about everything I study daily. Now it doesnt feel much boring.
I am answering so much in class these days. It boosts up my confidence. I feel good.
I play every other outdoor game that exists. I am participating in cultural fest as I will be singing.
Could my life be anymore exciting?
The No fap Journey has been life changing for me.
I had my 1st semester exams. I was developing feelings for my guy best friend. We would generally joke so much and in those 7 days after my exam where we were given leave, I was missing him and his jokes. I couldnt hold my feelings anymore so I confessed. He still is my friend. But there indeed is some awkwardness between us. I love his humor and I wish I could hold his hand and run my fingers through his hair while I stare at his eyes. But I cant. He just doesnt feel the same and Im fine by that.
Theres another person who secretly likes me. He does get worried when I skip meals. Hes nice but then theres a 10 year age gap between us.
Ugh enough of likings and blushings and blah blah blah.
Im more focused than ever.
I have never been excited regarding life so much.
I feel energetic and enthusiastic every day.
Theres a passion within me to learn about everything I study daily. Now it doesnt feel much boring.
I am answering so much in class these days. It boosts up my confidence. I feel good.
I play every other outdoor game that exists. I am participating in cultural fest as I will be singing.
Could my life be anymore exciting?
The No fap Journey has been life changing for me.
ladysudan
Active Member
What if you really started loving a person that you wanted to give your everything...your time, your body, your soul, your virginity just to hear them say that you could be cheating behind his back and fucking someone else...
I am heartbroken,devastated and shattered to pieces. He means everything to me. How could he? Does he know that Im crying here very bad, with one hand on my heart to comfort myself because I cant open up about it to anyone.
I love him despite of my fears and insecurities and he, without a second thought, decides to drop off a comment as such for me...
I am heartbroken,devastated and shattered to pieces. He means everything to me. How could he? Does he know that Im crying here very bad, with one hand on my heart to comfort myself because I cant open up about it to anyone.
I love him despite of my fears and insecurities and he, without a second thought, decides to drop off a comment as such for me...
ladysudan
Active Member
Hi!
So some things had happened with me in the past few weeks that were traumatic and some of them put me on self doubt. This led me to overthink about all of it and not letting my brain to take a rest for a while. I was deeply hurt. I became all alone for a while. So negative thoughts would come back to me including relapsing in all possible ways. So after everything that happened Im now put into therapy. I hope it helps me.
So some things had happened with me in the past few weeks that were traumatic and some of them put me on self doubt. This led me to overthink about all of it and not letting my brain to take a rest for a while. I was deeply hurt. I became all alone for a while. So negative thoughts would come back to me including relapsing in all possible ways. So after everything that happened Im now put into therapy. I hope it helps me.
SmokenMirrors
Well-Known Member
Stay positive, I'm here if you need! Maybe try CBT? It's proven to be very useful!
ladysudan
Active Member
Whats CBT? Im unaware
SmokenMirrors
Well-Known Member
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy
ladysudan
Active Member
Exact 1 month of therapy
Nothing has changed much tbh
I havent engaged in PMO before getting into therapy and also while im in therapy.
Part of therapy also involves informing your therapist about what medicines are you on.
I have been taking anti histaminic for 2 years (since covid) and iron and folic acid tablets to avoid any mental health problems and anemia.
The thought of therapy scared me for a while tbh. It kind of makes me feel I will forever be the sufferer or the victim.
Letting my therapist know my deepest and darkest secrets also scares me a lot.
I have been feeling unhappy for a very long time. Not sure why is it so....nothing in life pleases me anymore. Everything feels monotonous and boring.
For one time I felt like I should smoke and try alcohol... it just shows how badly I want my pain to go away. Anyways 1 day more and I have my birthday after which I have my exams on 30 June. I am so exhausted studying all day and night...but I have to survive...I have to pass.
Nothing has changed much tbh
I havent engaged in PMO before getting into therapy and also while im in therapy.
Part of therapy also involves informing your therapist about what medicines are you on.
I have been taking anti histaminic for 2 years (since covid) and iron and folic acid tablets to avoid any mental health problems and anemia.
The thought of therapy scared me for a while tbh. It kind of makes me feel I will forever be the sufferer or the victim.
Letting my therapist know my deepest and darkest secrets also scares me a lot.
I have been feeling unhappy for a very long time. Not sure why is it so....nothing in life pleases me anymore. Everything feels monotonous and boring.
For one time I felt like I should smoke and try alcohol... it just shows how badly I want my pain to go away. Anyways 1 day more and I have my birthday after which I have my exams on 30 June. I am so exhausted studying all day and night...but I have to survive...I have to pass.
ladysudan
Active Member
So my exams are finally over and we had 3 theory and 3 practical exams and I finally passed in Anatomy. Anatomy is more of a hell for Medical students. I sacrificed my outings, my time with people and lost some friends...just to get a feeling of happiness. With my continuous experience of failure and the frustation that arises from failure I almost reached to a point where it was do or die. I put my whole hearted efforts and pushed myself so much and finally Im here. I just cant hold my tears.
Im happy I lost some friends... this way I freed myself for becoming the most toxic person ever. They weren't even real. I did feel jealous when they went for outings with that One companion they have and I was never invited or welcomed. They knew what they were doing yet they just kept on pretending. Now that I have scored more than them I think not going out for 3 months did benifit me.
My porn habits are so much in control now. I am so not into it anymore. I have got so much other priorities and giving priority to porn while im in the best young ages of my life would be so foolish.
Im happy I lost some friends... this way I freed myself for becoming the most toxic person ever. They weren't even real. I did feel jealous when they went for outings with that One companion they have and I was never invited or welcomed. They knew what they were doing yet they just kept on pretending. Now that I have scored more than them I think not going out for 3 months did benifit me.
My porn habits are so much in control now. I am so not into it anymore. I have got so much other priorities and giving priority to porn while im in the best young ages of my life would be so foolish.
SmokenMirrors
Well-Known Member
Sounds like fake friends, you're better off without them
ladysudan
Active Member
Lately I'm feeling miserable...even though my exams went well...nothing changed even though I thought it would change something.
I'm not fine. I'm skipping classes. I dont talk to anyone for the entire day sometimes. I refuse to come out of my room where I live on my own. I havent met my therapist for 2 weeks. I thought that now that Im an adult I should be able to talk to my mom about what Im feeling and should start opening up more. I tried and instead she judged me and made me feel bad about myself. Now whenever she calls I dont talk to her and promised that I would never open up to her about anything.
Its so easy to dwell into your sufferings, emotions, pain and loneliness. I am putting my efforts but sometimes I feel bad about lacking atleast 1 meaningful and deep connection with someone.
Im afraid I might fall back in my porn traps.
I'm not fine. I'm skipping classes. I dont talk to anyone for the entire day sometimes. I refuse to come out of my room where I live on my own. I havent met my therapist for 2 weeks. I thought that now that Im an adult I should be able to talk to my mom about what Im feeling and should start opening up more. I tried and instead she judged me and made me feel bad about myself. Now whenever she calls I dont talk to her and promised that I would never open up to her about anything.
Its so easy to dwell into your sufferings, emotions, pain and loneliness. I am putting my efforts but sometimes I feel bad about lacking atleast 1 meaningful and deep connection with someone.
Im afraid I might fall back in my porn traps.