A little support because I want to become Better
- Thread starter ladysudan
- Start date
D
Deleted member 29199
Guest
Speaking from my experience indulging in MO hasn't worked out well for me in the past (or ever). From what I've gathered from people's stories here it's fine to MO as long as u don't use porn to stimulate urself in any form (no fantasies allowed). I trust u will be able to decide for urself what works out for you.
Also congrats on the test. And it's good to hear you managed to control ur urges yesterday. Keep going!
TryingHarder
Well-Known Member
MO is a tricky one during a reboot (I'm going through this myself). Most people will say no but my own plan is to MO once every 30 days during the 90 day reboot. That way, it's occasional and a nice reward for good work. However, I have certainly noticed an urge to MO when stressed, which is the wrong reason, so I'm saying no.
ladysudan
Active Member
Hi! I would like to let everyone know that although I managed to keep myself clean for 21 days...I relapsed yesterday. The days right now are stressful and the journey hasn't ever been smooth. I did not watch P because this shit is going to land me in serious sexual intimacy problems in near future. Like with P, I am turned on within 7 minutes and without it, it takes me 30 minutes. How am I saying so? Because last night I involved myself into MO. Should I start with a new journal? This one feels like its full of relapses and me messing up....Idk
pls help
pls help
Last edited:
D
Deleted member 29199
Guest
Oyi. Chill out! You went on 21 days so that's something. I also almost relapsed yesterday. Also u said u didn't watch P, so at least that works out.
And the thing about being turned on quickly with porn. Well I'll let u know that happens with everyone who has developed this addiction. It's working the same way for me. I can get aroused in a minute max when I think of porn but when I think of someone real it takes me a while. Right now I almost ignores these thoughts in whatever way, shape or form they come into my mind. And I've realised they have been less powerful in the last few days but you can never be sure they are gone. So yeah, be on the lookout because trigger/cue mechanism works in a weird way in this addiction.
Also you can start a new journal too if u want to but I'll suggest continuing this journal as it will remind you of what went wrong in past and may keep u motivated to not repeat those mistakes again. But in the end it's ur choice.
tghn
Member
You are constantly evolving mentally and physically... I get that this relapse will make you feel bad at first but view it as another hurdle that is thrown at you to become a better version of yourself.. Keep going and be proud of the 21 days you already fullfilled without PMO. If you can do that, you can do a lot more.
If it helps you to refocus, you can restart one. But, if you keep this one- in the (near) future when you overcome this, you can look back on your journey- the good and the bad, the ups and the downs, and you can learn what worked for you and what didn't.
I'd say, keep your journal. Please be gentle with yourself, changing habits are not easy. You're doing good. In recovery you will have sometimes when you fail, it's rarely a straight line to victory.
I'd say, keep your journal. Please be gentle with yourself, changing habits are not easy. You're doing good. In recovery you will have sometimes when you fail, it's rarely a straight line to victory.
TryingHarder
Well-Known Member
So just to be clear: you did MO, but no PMO? While technically that's a relapse, PMO would have been worse, so don't be too hard on yourself. It's not "messing up", it's being a human and trying to overcome something that's really difficult. 
ladysudan
Active Member
I'll take care of that!So just to be clear: you did MO, but no PMO? While technically that's a relapse, PMO would have been worse, so don't be too hard on yourself. It's not "messing up", it's being a human and trying to overcome something that's really difficult.
Chuckles
Active Member
In my opinion, relapses are a mixed bag. You messed up, you have to reset your counter, it's not a good thing to relapse, and you need to recognize that. But it also reminds you that you're human, and that we all mess up sometimes. Don't beat yourself up too bad.
I'm glad you're back on track to break the addiction! Good luck!
I'm glad you're back on track to break the addiction! Good luck!
You're doing good, lady sudan! A set back is part of recovery. There's a difference between a lapse and a relapse. As long as you get up from a fall, it's a lapse. If you stay down, or go back to where you were before the recovery efforts, then it's a relapse.
You got this.
You got this.
Harrie
Member
Wait actually? If you don’t beat yourself up and stuff it’s not a relapse.
ladysudan
Active Member
@Gary_The_Snail
He meant that we all are human and it's okay to fail but if we dare to stand up the moment we fall back you realise that it was just a lapse because triggers affect our actions but not our mindset whereas it's called a relapse when triggers affect our actions and mindset. So for me it affected my actions but not my mindset and so it was just a lapse.
Not what I said. I'm talking about whether you get up right away, or stay down- said nothing about beating yourself up or not.
But on that subject...
We all naturally regret and beat ourselves up to a degree after a fall, but as long as we understand the recovery process and have our eye on the bigger picture (and not the momentary lapse) we won't beat ourselves up as much, and it will be easier to rebound after a lapse.