A little support because I want to become Better

ladysudan

ladysudan

Active Member
Day 7: 20 June

No PMO.

Today is my birthday. Never in my entire life I have woken up early except for today otherwise even if the sirens would be wailing, or wolves would be howling or my parents would get awake by every other alarm (be it on my phone or my laptop or their phones or my actual alarm clock), I would still be asleep. You know I take it seriously when people say to me "SWEET DREAMS".

But deep down, I've accepted some of the harshest truths of life and to be honest it hurts but this is how it all happens. I'm alone even on my birthday. Now birthdays aren't even exciting. Last time I went out with friends to celebrate with my friends was 2014 when I was 12.
Now, we are out of touch and with some of them, I'm no longer friends with them.

I am sorry for displaying out what I'm feeling right now especially when I know this is a forum where to help people with their P addictions.

I have a huge plan inside my head about my future and I promise I won't give in.
 
TryingHarder

TryingHarder

Well-Known Member
Happy birthday, ladysudan. Spending your birthday alone is tough (and I know, I have done it many times). Treat yourself to something nice: go for a walk, buy a book, a new pair of shoes, a favourite dessert. Sometimes small things go a long way.
 
D

Deleted member 29199

Guest
ladysudan said:
Day 7: 20 June

No PMO.

Today is my birthday. Never in my entire life I have woken up early except for today otherwise even if the sirens would be wailing, or wolves would be howling or my parents would get awake by every other alarm (be it on my phone or my laptop or their phones or my actual alarm clock), I would still be asleep. You know I take it seriously when people say to me "SWEET DREAMS".

But deep down, I've accepted some of the harshest truths of life and to be honest it hurts but this is how it all happens. I'm alone even on my birthday. Now birthdays aren't even exciting. Last time I went out with friends to celebrate with my friends was 2014 when I was 12.
Now, we are out of touch and with some of them, I'm no longer friends with them.

I am sorry for displaying out what I'm feeling right now especially when I know this is a forum where to help people with their P addictions.

I have a huge plan inside my head about my future and I promise I won't give in.
Click to expand...
Happy Birthday ladysudan!!! I can relate to some of the things you said about birthdays. I've also spent most of my birthdays alone and it's fine just as long I enjoy my own company.

Also it's okay to share how you feel. No addiction is just about doing the deed. Anyway remember what you said in the last sentence. Stay Strong! and i know I'm late to reply but hopefully you had fun on this occasion even it's just by yourself.
 
D

Deleted member 22651

Guest
ladysudan said:
Hi! I would like to let everyone know that although I managed to keep myself clean for 21 days...I relapsed yesterday. The days right now are stressful and the journey hasn't ever been smooth. I did not watch P because this shit is going to land me in serious sexual intimacy problems in near future. Like with P, I am turned on within 7 minutes and without it, it takes me 30 minutes. How am I saying so? Because last night I involved myself into MO. Should I start with a new journal? This one feels like its full of relapses and me messing up....Idk

pls help
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Heyyo Amigo,

Like most people said above, youre doing well. 21 days is a decent effort and the journey isnt meant to be perfect. If you havent watched porn when you MO'd I dont think it counts as a relapse. Its normal to pleasure yourself every once in a while, we're only humans.
The road to recovery is far from perfect and its different for everyone. We're all fighting the same demons but in our own way.

Dont beat yourself up.

I've been on this forum for almost a year now and I've had my fair share of relapses. What matters most is how you bounce back and what you learn to improve next time.

Keep your head up and keep fighting!
You're doing great!!
 
ladysudan

ladysudan

Active Member
Day 10: 23 June

No PMO.

Before I completed Day 9, I had a dream about me relapsing. However, somehow I managed to keep myself sane through Day 9.
Today, on a scale from 1 to 10, I was experiencing urges of level 11. Every other second, the two voices in my head seemed to collide. Still I don't know how am I doing it.

I am so afraid about relapsing. If necessary, I might distance myself from all potential sources of triggers (for few days) to prevent a relapse.

God keep me safe.🙏
 
D

Deleted member 29199

Guest
ladysudan said:
Day 10: 23 June

No PMO.

Before I completed Day 9, I had a dream about me relapsing. However, somehow I managed to keep myself sane through Day 9.
Today, on a scale from 1 to 10, I was experiencing urges of level 11. Every other second, the two voices in my head seemed to collide. Still I don't know how am I doing it.

I am so afraid about relapsing. If necessary, I might distance myself from all potential sources of triggers (for few days) to prevent a relapse.

God keep me safe.🙏
Click to expand...
Hey there! You made it through 10 days! Congrats on that.

Also for the strong urges I'll recommend finding something else to do as soon as these thoughts pop into ur mind. The more u will let those voices run inside your head, the more stronger urges will become.

Don't be afraid of relapsing, you've made it this far so you can go more. You can defeat this addiction. Do whatever it takes to distance yourself from any potential triggers source. Believe me it will be worth it when you're past this addiction . I'm in the same place as yours even if it has been 3 weeks. Stay strong!
 
TryingHarder

TryingHarder

Well-Known Member
Today, on a scale from 1 to 10, I was experiencing urges of level 11.
Click to expand...
We've all been there. The longer you stay away from PMO and MO, the easier it will get. The fact that you're thinking about triggers and have plans to thwart them is a good sign!
we-can-do-it.jpg
 
Phineas 808

Phineas 808

Moderator
Staff member
Moderator
Happy belated birthday, ladysudan!

Wishing you strength, and the urges will pass..., they always subside. You can (and will) outlast any urge!
 
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