Day 0
yeah so I relapsed. Been relapsing for the last few months. It's just horrible to think about how many hours of my life this addiction will consume. I think we are already talking months. Let's say I do this on average 10 hours a week since I was 15 and I live to be 80. That adds to nearly 4 years of my life. If I spent this time for example practising guitar I would be Slash by now.
I am not sure what to do. This last relapse has been a very conscious one. I have been bored or feeling sorry for myself and decided that I need that dopamine release. I do it because I am lonely I think. And I am lonely partly due to this addiction.
Yeah, so that's it for now. I am pretty happy with my life except for this part. Really not sure if I have the motivation to quit or if it is even worth it. I do get happier and more relaxed after PMOing for half a day. The only problem is that there were other things I wanted to do instead. Like sports, go on a date, clean my house, .... , eat, and so on. I really don't know at the moment. Hope everyone else are doing good and staying strong!