Exciting days!!

tydurden

Member
Day 50

Yey. Does not feel like a win. Over the last fifty days I have not been feeling very good. I have walked away from a potential relationship and even rejected a few bootycalls. I dont know if its the substitutes fault or not, but I dont feel the sexual healing as much as I did during my last reboot. I want to step it up. Right now I want to go completely munk style, no masturbation, stop drinking alcohol, no caffeine, stop watching netflix and start exercising daily. Maybe even limit my phone use. All this would be so cool to do and yet it is completely out of my league. I wouldnt last two hours. So many times in my life have I tried to just stop all bad habits at once and failed before I even got started; I would literally watch porn to celebrate right after creating the plan.

So I will stick to just no porn. But I am considering if I could do maybe just a week or even just two days with complete munk style. Just to try. Actually, let's do it.

Until next tuesday:
- no porn
- no masturbation
- no alcohol
- no netflix
- max one cup coffee per day
- exercise 3 times

Sorry for making this my journal guys. Thanks for reading anyways. Hope everyone is doing well!
 

TypeN

Active Member
Day 50

Yey. Does not feel like a win. Over the last fifty days I have not been feeling very good. I have walked away from a potential relationship and even rejected a few bootycalls. I dont know if its the substitutes fault or not, but I dont feel the sexual healing as much as I did during my last reboot. I want to step it up. Right now I want to go completely munk style, no masturbation, stop drinking alcohol, no caffeine, stop watching netflix and start exercising daily. Maybe even limit my phone use. All this would be so cool to do and yet it is completely out of my league. I wouldnt last two hours. So many times in my life have I tried to just stop all bad habits at once and failed before I even got started; I would literally watch porn to celebrate right after creating the plan.

So I will stick to just no porn. But I am considering if I could do maybe just a week or even just two days with complete munk style. Just to try. Actually, let's do it.

Until next tuesday:
- no porn
- no masturbation
- no alcohol
- no netflix
- max one cup coffee per day
- exercise 3 times

Sorry for making this my journal guys. Thanks for reading anyways. Hope everyone is doing well!
I admire the bold decision here dude. Even just a week or two is a great choice, I think. They say discipline is like a muscle, right? If you train it you'll see results for your well-being, even if you don't do it constantly. Wishing you a good week with this. 💪
 

tydurden

Member
Day 55 no P

Day 6 no MO. Been sticking to all my goals except exercise and netflix. And tonight I am going to a party that I just dont want to be the guy who doesnt drink so I will have a few drinks. Will (for the first time ever) try to moderate my alcohol intake. At least stay away from thos totally unnecessary last drinks. So I guess not sticking that well to my goals. But i am happy with no MO. And of course no P or substitutes.

Been experiencing brain fog for the first time. I havent noticed it this clearly before. I have been getting off the bus at wrong stops, forgetting why I moved to another room in the house and phasing out of conversations. Very weird. Is this likely due to stopping P and MO?
 

TypeN

Active Member
Sounds good man. I bet the self-moderation you’re practicing with this addiction will help you manage yourself with the other things. Hope you have/had a nice time tonight. :)

Interesting question about the brain fog ... I've never experienced that myself, although I've been doing this for less time than you. Sometimes I have weeks like that out of the blue though, so it could just be normal/nothing to worry about. Something to keep paying attention to I suppose!
 

tydurden

Member
Day 57 no P

Also no MO for 7 days. Staying away from MO for more than 5 days definitely gives me some positive effects and I think I want to add that to my life in the long run as well. For now, I will do it for as long as I can, but with that I can feel strong urges to watch porn or substitutes. I am closing in on the progress where I last relapsed. And I know that trying to abstain from MO was a big trigger for my gigantic relapse last time. Checking my post I can see that I relapsed on day 73 without porn and day 9 without MO. After a week without MO, my mind starts to lure me down old paths and I get these very pornographic fantasies in my head. So in a way it may be easier to just masturbate once a week to stay on the safe side. At the same time I really enjoy the feeling of going completely munk style, so I will continue this journey for a few more days. Maybe I can get to 14.

Little brain fog today, but very strong urges. Very tempting to start swiping on Tinder. When I get urges I don't really want them to go away either. It is like Im getting a small dopamine rush just to let the urges linger in my head. I know this will only make my healing take longer, but its just too sad to realise that I cannot allow myself to have dirty thoughts. Let's focus on the really big win here. I am actually doing this. After I realised how strong my addiction to P was, I have had moments where I thought it would just always be a part of me. But I am actually doing it. And it sucks, but I am already feeling some positive effects. And I know that the long term effects are tremendous. Thanks to everyone in here sharing their story and their ups and downs. I don't really feel like sharing all of this with a friend at the moment and it is just so essential that I have a place to write down my thoughts. So thank you for reading! Have a good porn-free week everyone!
 

tydurden

Member
Day 58 no P, day 8 no O

Pretty strong urges. No MO makes the porn urges greater. My libido is still low, I just get pornographic urges. Very easily triggered by just seeing half a boob online.
 

tydurden

Member
Day 60

I lost my MO streak. And I did it using substitutes. Basically chatting to girls on Tinder. Girls I wouldnt date, its purely a digital sex thing. It isn't porn, but for me it is pretty much the same, I get the exact same dopamine rush. I will keep my counter, but I know this is taking me back in the healing process. So I am quite dissapointed. I think I will do MO as much as I want as long as it's completely natural without and screens, substitutes or any pornographic fantasy. It feels healthy when I do that so for me this makes sense. Stay in there boys and girls!
 

Trisquel

Active Member
Hi! I've been reading some of your progress. Congrats on being 60days free of P! That a great thing. Also I think the previous 70 days without porn also count, a relapse doesn't mean starting from scratch!

Yeah, substitutes are a bitch. I usually use social media and binging on YouTube, and it feels very similar to porn. We have to be careful with that, the more we abstain from that the better. I really think it can be useful to try to create new reinforcing things for ourselves, to substitute P and P's substitutes. Like going out with friends, sports, hobbies, the having more time for yourself without electronic things you were talking in a previous post...

Good luck in your recovery, keep strong!
 

Blondie

Respected Member
You're doing alright @tydurden, sure porn subs are not great, but they're still better than porn. However, that's not an excuse to look at them, but it it is good to differentiate between the two. I know it sucks to think you've failed, but look at it this way, compared to what your life was before, you're looking at porn considerably less than you did, minus a few days here and there.

Black and white thinking will kill us, and @Trisquel is right, you need to think in a holistic sense, and include your 70 days before as well. I've failed God knows how many times, and since I've started this journey four and half years ago, it's been at least 25 relapses. However, the truth remains, that my life is in everyway better than it was before, and I can say I'm mostly free from porn. And even if I would break my streak tomorrow, I would still be able to say that fact.

And as Trisquel said as well, yes we're here to get over porn, but you need to ask yourself, why do you have so much time to even look at it? Don't wait to be "clean" to start chasing life. Start chasing life now and eventually, you'll find you won't have that much time to even look at the shit.

Best brother.
 

tydurden

Member
Day 67

Hey guys! @Trisquel @Blondie Thanks a lot. I am speechless. It's just awesome how much dedication you put into helping out other (totally random) people. It truly helps and you are so right. Thank you.

I have been busy and stayed off substitutes the last week. And @Blondie is right, it is time to start filling my life with more meaningful content. I will start off easy with things I allready like. Christmas is often a calm and boring time with too much time for fapping so just getting through the next week will be challenging enough. I will also try to be slightly nicer to the people I love this Christmas. That ambition will probably be demolished about 5 minutes after seeing my family again, but hey - let's give it go😅

Wishing everyone in here some great last few days of 2022! If you are feeling down try doing something nice for someone else.
 

tydurden

Member
Still day 67

This will be a tough week. I have literally nothing to do and I really need a break from my family now and then. Very tempted to PMO. Need to find something else to do. Like reading a book or something. Haha this is bound to fail. The best way out of this is to just MO without P or substitutes whenever I can. Wish me luck
 

TypeN

Active Member
Still day 67

This will be a tough week. I have literally nothing to do and I really need a break from my family now and then. Very tempted to PMO. Need to find something else to do. Like reading a book or something. Haha this is bound to fail. The best way out of this is to just MO without P or substitutes whenever I can. Wish me luck
I don’t think it’s bound to fail mate, you’re a strong guy and have some real experience under your belt dealing with temptation by now. I think these are good ideas for how to handle this challenge. Maybe also see if you can get out of the house on some of these days, and leave your devices at home?
 

tydurden

Member
Day 77 without porn

Staying off from porn is easier and easier and I am doing well with that. But I have been cheating a lot lately with substitites. I probably should reset my counter but I don't want to. And I am proud of no porn for 77 days. And I do feel better. I am not experiencing much brain fog anymore.

I don't know how to quit all substitutes. It is only a problem when I am bored, so I think its time to fill my lifte with more avtivities.
 
Day 77 without porn

Staying off from porn is easier and easier and I am doing well with that. But I have been cheating a lot lately with substitites. I probably should reset my counter but I don't want to. And I am proud of no porn for 77 days. And I do feel better. I am not experiencing much brain fog anymore.

I don't know how to quit all substitutes. It is only a problem when I am bored, so I think its time to fill my lifte with more avtivities.
Do you want a higher counter streak, or do you want to heal? There is no such thing as porn. Porn, and porn substitutes, are actually the same thing. They're both porn, or both not porn, depending on your perspective. The problem is inside, in your mind. If you're addicted to porn, you need to let all of this go. Does that mean never look at an attractive woman again if she's on a screen? No, this is about training the mind. Women on screens are not just there for our pleasure, and we can stop acting like it. See someone attractive? You can wish her well, and move on. Let. Go.
 

tydurden

Member
Day 78

@creativenothing
thanks for the harsh truth. I have not used substitutes in 2023. I dont't honestly know if I can quit it for good. Every time I feel bad ablut myself, that is what I go to to feel better. It sucks. Im honestly not sure how to get my life in order, I am so extremely lazy. I go to work and do my work well and that's that. I do nothing with my life when I get home. I can be social, but nothing productive when Im by myself. Getting depressed from just sleeping and binge watching through my life. Need change. But I have been saying that for many years.
 
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