Exciting days!!

homerun

Member
62 days!🏆 after I hit 30 days i have never even really considered watching porn again. The acheivement feels far too great to start over. My libido has increased the last week and that resulted in my terrible attempt to go without MO. Turns out one of my biggest triggers for MO is being hungover. I am giving up the hard reboot for now and that feels fine. When I MO now without P it all feels a lot more natural, not at all shamefull and just fucking good☺️ I will try no MO at some point later on.
Gona try the same !! But strange part is now at 42 days without porn, I feel really good about it that I can keep it going. I expected it to be harder but I think this is where no MO becomes a challenge
 

tydurden

Member
Gona try the same !! But strange part is now at 42 days without porn, I feel really good about it that I can keep it going. I expected it to be harder but I think this is where no MO becomes a challenge
@homerun Congrats on 42 days - that's awesome! Have you gone 42 without MO as well or just with out porn (which is still impressive)? Great that you are feeling you can do this. Bring that feeling with you. Just because I relapsed after 70 days does not mean you will. Just keep fighting. Some periods are easier than others. Be ready to remind yourself why you are doing this in case a bad day comes along. Inspiring to ready your updates, keep it up!

Day 80. Had a productive day for once!
 

tydurden

Member
Relapse

115 days without porn. Although that is factually true it is a lie - and I have been lying to myself for a while now. Stopping turning to porn was not that hard, but I have been using substitutes that I think I am far more addicted to than porn. In other words, relapse, big time.

Although I have relapsed it still feels good to honestly say I have not watched porn in 115 days. That is still quite an achievement. And now that I have admitted to myself that I am still using porn substitutes I am ready to get rid of that from my life as well. Soon. I need to fill my days with some more content first. Boredom, being hungover and self pity is just too big of a trigger for me. I have been able to take porn out of my life completely and I want to do the same with the substitutes. So I will be back posting soon. Hang in there good people!
 

Blondie

Respected Member
Honestly @tydurden, 115 days is amazing. You've admitted before that you weren't ready to completely give it up, which is good and honest. Well now it seems you're done with porn, and what's more, you want to go all the way with not porn subs, fantastic. So much of success in this comes from the initial decision.

Congrats to you.

Best
 

tydurden

Member
Day 141 no porn

Failing horribly at no substitutes for porn. And I am not really feeling any improvements all. No porn is easy at this point, but I have to step up my game. Will try to go without P subs or masturbation for a while and see what happens.
 

tydurden

Member
Day 143 no P
Day 2 no O


I honestly don't know if I can get rid of my addiction to Psubs without introducing plenty of new things in my life. The problem is, as long as I can spend hours on P subs when I feel lonely or bored I will never actually start living my life again. I want to exercise, date, do productive things.
 

Androg

Administrator
Admin
Moderator
Sounds like the subs are keeping you hooked for sure. My guess is that until you let them go you won't have much luck in thinking of other things to fill your time with. GL
 

Blondie

Respected Member
I would concur with @Androg. It's great that you're not looking at porn, but it seems subs have taken its place. Obviously, it's considerably better than porn, and I wouldn't say you've relapsed or anything, but you do really need to move on from them and embrace life. You might not know what that even is until to quit completely.

Best brother.

"It's only after you've lost everything, that you're free to do anything"
 

tydurden

Member
Day 0

yeah so I relapsed. Been relapsing for the last few months. It's just horrible to think about how many hours of my life this addiction will consume. I think we are already talking months. Let's say I do this on average 10 hours a week since I was 15 and I live to be 80. That adds to nearly 4 years of my life. If I spent this time for example practising guitar I would be Slash by now.

I am not sure what to do. This last relapse has been a very conscious one. I have been bored or feeling sorry for myself and decided that I need that dopamine release. I do it because I am lonely I think. And I am lonely partly due to this addiction.

Yeah, so that's it for now. I am pretty happy with my life except for this part. Really not sure if I have the motivation to quit or if it is even worth it. I do get happier and more relaxed after PMOing for half a day. The only problem is that there were other things I wanted to do instead. Like sports, go on a date, clean my house, .... , eat, and so on. I really don't know at the moment. Hope everyone else are doing good and staying strong!
 

Androg

Administrator
Admin
Moderator
The addicted mind can always be counted upon to use "poor me" to motivate a relapse. That can set up a pattern where "poor me" becomes a trigger for "reward."

AA has a saying, "Poor me, poor me...pour me another drink."
 

SmokenMirrors

Well-Known Member
Day 0

yeah so I relapsed. Been relapsing for the last few months. It's just horrible to think about how many hours of my life this addiction will consume. I think we are already talking months. Let's say I do this on average 10 hours a week since I was 15 and I live to be 80. That adds to nearly 4 years of my life. If I spent this time for example practising guitar I would be Slash by now.

I am not sure what to do. This last relapse has been a very conscious one. I have been bored or feeling sorry for myself and decided that I need that dopamine release. I do it because I am lonely I think. And I am lonely partly due to this addiction.

Yeah, so that's it for now. I am pretty happy with my life except for this part. Really not sure if I have the motivation to quit or if it is even worth it. I do get happier and more relaxed after PMOing for half a day. The only problem is that there were other things I wanted to do instead. Like sports, go on a date, clean my house, .... , eat, and so on. I really don't know at the moment. Hope everyone else are doing good and staying strong!
Keep fighting brother. Use this relapse as motivation to build the discipline to succeed! Drop me a message whenever you feel you need help
 

Blondie

Respected Member
Good to see you back @tydurden. It's takes balls to come back, and here you are still kicking. I know it's easy to bash yourself and ask all the what if questions. But today is all you got.
I am not sure what to do. This last relapse has been a very conscious one. I have been bored or feeling sorry for myself and decided that I need that dopamine release. I do it because I am lonely I think. And I am lonely partly due to this addiction.
That's the problem with a dopamine trip to hell, is that no matter what you do, either looking at porn for the hell of it, or because of boredom or depression, it all leads back to the same place. It's imperative to switch roads and get the fuck out of there. Embrace the pain and eventually you will see the gains.

Is there someone you can open up to in your life to keep you accountable?

Best
 
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