So... Guess it's time for me to make a journal and starting to write down about my successes and failures dealing with pornography. I'm 26 years old and I started to watch pornography in my early teens. Discovered in May 2020 that it was a bad habit and horrible for my brain and health. I managed the first time to stop cold turkey for a year but now I'm struggling going a week or two without falling back to my old habits.
I miss the feeling of being porn free. I was more calm, happier, more engaged, present. Overall just a better version of myself. I feel like setting myself free of this addiction/habit is one of the last things i need to do the reach my full potential. I'm generally happy. I got a good job. I'm financial secure. I have lovely friends and my family is great. I'm working out several days a week and got a fine physique that I'm happy with. I have a fairly social life. Everything sounds fine right?
However... My love life has always been non-existent. I've never been confident speaking to women. I've never been in a relationship with a human being - I had a relationship with porn throughout all my teen years and early twenties without me even realising before I discovered Reboot Nation and Your Brain On Porn. Then it all made sense. I need to let this go. I had no desire to seek relationships with women when I was using porn everyday. It wasn't "worth" it to my brain - I could just resort to porn and evade dealing with feelings and emotions.
The few times I've had the opportunity to have sex it has always been a bad experience. Erectile dysfunction.. No excitement because of desensitization.. Lack of confidence..
When I was PMO free I absolutely started to get interested in women again. I had desire. I could maintain eye contact and conversations - I didn't feel like I needed to escape. I want that feeling again.
I miss the feeling of being porn free. I was more calm, happier, more engaged, present. Overall just a better version of myself. I feel like setting myself free of this addiction/habit is one of the last things i need to do the reach my full potential. I'm generally happy. I got a good job. I'm financial secure. I have lovely friends and my family is great. I'm working out several days a week and got a fine physique that I'm happy with. I have a fairly social life. Everything sounds fine right?
However... My love life has always been non-existent. I've never been confident speaking to women. I've never been in a relationship with a human being - I had a relationship with porn throughout all my teen years and early twenties without me even realising before I discovered Reboot Nation and Your Brain On Porn. Then it all made sense. I need to let this go. I had no desire to seek relationships with women when I was using porn everyday. It wasn't "worth" it to my brain - I could just resort to porn and evade dealing with feelings and emotions.
The few times I've had the opportunity to have sex it has always been a bad experience. Erectile dysfunction.. No excitement because of desensitization.. Lack of confidence..
When I was PMO free I absolutely started to get interested in women again. I had desire. I could maintain eye contact and conversations - I didn't feel like I needed to escape. I want that feeling again.
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