Thanks @Ezel! Yeah, I'm up and at it again. Had some good time yesterday taking stock of myself emotionally, which was good. Overall I think I'm still in a pretty good place right now.
Day 11 I think? Done borderline behavior a while back, but the last few days have been pretty good. Life is pretty crazy right now (packing for a big move), so I haven't been keeping up with the forum as much
Had been doing good for a while, but I just had a big relapse. No O, but I edged for quite a while. It sucked... Didn't enjoy it at all, and I feel like absolute shit now. Sigh....
This happens @Dungalef. Don't beat yourself up too much. Ask yourself why you found yourself back in that situation again, analyze it, and learn from it.
Thanks @Blondie, I needed that. Gotta think some more about what I learned. Mostly that I still can't trust myself in some contexts, which is ok. It's a good thing to know, and I need to plan accordingly.
I also really do need to find a way to come to that point again of "it just isn't an option." Not just porn, but artificial sex of any kind.