Finally sick and tired of being sick and tired

Ezel

Well-Known Member
I had a relapse tonight. Sorry guys. I'm gonna get back up and try again starting tomorrow.
it's okay man, it happens. don't stress about it too much, get back and start another streak, and whatever you do don't binge-watch porn today telling yourself it's okay I'm going to start another streak tomorrow anyway...

you are doing great freedom, 30+ days of no PMO is an outstanding achievement man, you should be proud of yourself.
 

Blondie

Respected Member
Hey Freedom, sorry to hear that bother.

Great job jumping back up and moving on though

A good question to ask yourself is what was going through your thoughts before you returned to porn.

What lesson did you learn from this?

Best man.
 
Day 2 went decent. Just tired mentally and physically. I would like to talk about my relapse the other night. For 33 days, I remained porn free. My anxiety and stress faded away, and I was finally the best version of myself. I was working out harder than I ever have and just was feeling amazing. I was out of my head, out of the screen and on top of the world. I had urges, but I was finally able to get over them and move forward in healing. Until the other night, it was late, and one thought turned into another. One flashback led to another. I got stuck in my head again, anxious and stressed about my urges. I finally reached the point, where all rational thinking left me. The addicted part of my brain took over and I ended up with another relapse. Thinking about that today, I realized that when I'm calm, and out of my head I'm the best me. I'm able to navigate myself through urges better. I'm just better in every area when I don't let myself get trapped in a whirlwind of stress and worry. So that's why I relapsed. It's clear now, and I know how deal with that the next time it comes around. I spent a lot of last night, and some of today reading YBOP articles and success stories. They motivate me to get back to that version of me, that the last attempt helped me to finally achieve. Looking forward to the challenge. Looking forward to the ups and even the downs. The last relapse, will be the last relapse.
 
Today showed me that I'm tired of feeling like garbage. I'm tired of relapsing after being on a successful streak. I'm tired of the mental clutter that pmo causes. I'm tired of it numbing my emotions. I'm tired of being frustrated with myself after every relapse. Today taught me, that I'm ready to reboot fully, completely and with everything I have. I've made posts like this in the past, but this can't go on any longer with me. It's time to go all in. Pmo will only take from me, it will never give me anything but emptiness and loneliness. I'm sick of it. It's time to change. Time to grow up and time to finally get this problem behind me.
 
Well my last day 4 was good. Had some flashbacks, but nothing huge. I'm starting to look at those, and my other urges as opportunities to get stronger. When I read, workout or listen to music when an urge pops up, I will be stronger and the urge will lose it's power. I've had streaks of over 100 days, to 32 days to 14 days. Every time, I gave in. My last 100 plus day streak was in 2019. I feel like I really need to focus on relapse prevention. I also need to prepare for those random urges, I need to have a plan B for how to deal with those.
 
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