I will make it -- Looking forward to taking my life back

Congrats on 120 days! Amazing, keep it up! I've been reading many of your posts today and it is inspiring me to start rebooting again. Thanks and keep it up! Dont get cocky, stay focused.
Absolutely man, I won't declare victory at LEAST until the 1yr mark, more realistically probably a few years after I really feel I've gotten my life together. I posted on your thread as well -- glad to have done anything that has remotely inspired you & all the best. You CAN make it
 
Man I think I'm in flatline but I'm not sure. The main thing is my penis looks waaaay smaller, but I do still have a few super brief urges here and there (though not as much and they go away in like a second). It's not really an urge when I see an attractive girl though so I can't even call it an 'urge.' Realize I'm not making a ton of sense. MO'd today but while I did finish I struggled to maintain the erection the entire time

This is puzzling because around Day 45 when I MO'd I had much stronger erections, so why is it more challenging now? If anything it should be much easier so with my smaller sized flaccid penis I can really only conclude that it's flatline. Does anyone else experience similar stuff where their penis shrinks a bunch & then it's harder to maintain erections like that? Just wondering

EDIT: Ok I'm like 99% sure I'm in flatline. Why? Because I have no true urges, just flickers of stuff at best (and they happen rarely) and my penis is shriveled up to a very small size. Also logically makes 0 sense why if I wasn't in flatline, my erections were so much better around Day 50 (honestly for MO levels I felt they were like 80-90% vs. like 40% now) than they are after Day 120. Guess I panicked a little bit

In other news, see below from WebMD on addiction -- Taking this variability into account, it usually takes several months to over a year for your brain to rewire. “Some improvements are seen after 3 months, such as some improvement in [the] prefrontal cortex and the ability to make better decisions,” says Lopez. “In general, though, it’s thought that the dopamine levels which are at the center of reward systems take about 12-14 months to return to normal levels”.

The above really goes to show that the bulk of addiction-related changes disappear in about a year or so. I'm going to do everything possible to accelerate this but I have to trust the process
 
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Blondie

Respected Member
You got this @First_step_thousand_miles.

I would say this is definitely flatline symptoms and nothing to be worried about. In fact, maybe it's time to throw a little party, a "My brain is getting better" party! 🎉🧠🎉

In other news, see below from WebMD on addiction -- Taking this variability into account, it usually takes several months to over a year for your brain to rewire. “Some improvements are seen after 3 months, such as some improvement in [the] prefrontal cortex and the ability to make better decisions,” says Lopez. “In general, though, it’s thought that the dopamine levels which are at the center of reward systems take about 12-14 months to return to normal levels”.
This is all true, thus why I'm still not there yet.

This road might be a challenge, but the final destination will be one hell of a view!

Keep killing it man!
 
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You got this @First_step_thousand_miles.

I would say this is definitely flatline symptoms and nothing to be worried about. In fact, maybe it's time to throw a little party, a "My brain is getting better" party! 🎉🧠🎉


This is all true, thus why I'm still not there yet.

This road might be a challenge, but the final destination will be one hell of a view!

Keep killing it man!
100% my dude. Yeah I had a little doubt recently but yesterday it was completely wiped away. Went out to a couple bars, lot of attractive women around but I felt almost nothing. Paired with my shrunken penis, it's 100% flatline (I guess I didn't even consciously realize it but I think I've been in flatline almost since I had sex last somewhere around Day 80). Honestly just knowing what it is makes me feel way better & now I can just chug along with my day to outlast this

You will definitely get there Blondie, both of us will. What's 12-14months (and you're only a few months away from the tail end of that!) compared to a lifetime ahead of us?
 
Looking good man, looking good! 👍
Ye just got to wait it out amigo. Was out today at a game, lot of attractive girls out and about but literally I had 0 interest. Flatline really is strange!

I guess until this point I've only had really mini flatlines that end pretty quickly, was actually wondering why I never had any longer ones like most guys report. Guess that's finally happening lol
 
Day 127 --Another day of flatline (last MO was Day 123 so no MO for 4 days thus far). Did some outdoorsy stuff today. Man, no libido feels weird. It's such a fundamental part about being a man that not having it is odd. But then I might be complaining if the libido is never ending either, so just gotta wait for when it is steady-state

I'm not really sure how long I've been in flatline, I didn't pay too much attention after Day 80. Flatline might've kicked in right after or maybe it just kicked in a few weeks ago. Either way, just going to work on my goals. I guess journaling feels a bit odd now too because flatline just feels kind of constant vs. the fluctuations in the day to day with this stuff. My only 'fear' I guess you could call it is the length of the flatline. I wonder if there's anything I can do to accelerate it honestly. Any tips?

Guess the other thing I'd note is my mental state feels worse. I'm still feeling decent in an absolute sense but it feels like there's a ceiling on my happiness / joy in things. No depression / anxiety thank god (hope it stays that way), just the joy I remember from reading a great book or listening to a great song feels dampened. I feel tired a lot more too. I'm not getting like 9-10hrs of sleep but a solid 7-7.5hrs (8hrs on weekends) so I shouldn't be feeling as tired (I think)

EDIT: Did look up how to accelerate the flatline stage or at least mitigate the effects. I'm going to continue taking my 'mental health' supplements religiously (fish oil, magnesium, vitamin d), exercising consistently, and eating as healthy as possible (this will be the trickiest).
 
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Day 133 -- Today I feel like I'm getting out of the flatline a tad but it's still libido is still pretty darn low relatively speaking (maybe 20% of 'normal' vs. like 10% the past few weeks -- which isn't saying much!). Otherwise just going on with life
 
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Day 134 -- MO'd today. Well I was definitely 100% in flatline those last few times I MO'd because I got hard pretty darn easily (came super fast, PE might be an issue lol -- though can be fixed with kegels I suppose). I guess the length of this flatline was something like 50 days (or maybe I recovered once or twice in the middle, I'm not sure). I was pretty worried as to why it was so hard to MO before (when it was so easy around day 40-50), glad to see the mojo is back

Also last night had an intimate dream as well. No sex but lots of just kissing & stuff. Brain is healing up alright
 
Day 135 -- MO'd again last night to this girl I met on a trip, overall above avg but nothing crazy (don't say this to insult anyone, just a marker for me). Libido is definitely stronger now to just relatively cute girls vs. porn star type bodies. Definitely a relief as I was concerned that I messed myself up by only PMO'ing in the past to absurd body proportions. It is coming back, slowly but surely

Wasn't a perfect MO per se as I got soft when I wasn't actively imagining / touching. I know fully recovered folks don't have to do nearly as much to keep it going & stay hard far easier. That said, was a big affirmation of stepping in the right direction
 
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Blondie

Respected Member
I love it man. Real is the only deal.

Yes it's true that some girls are better looking than others (the same with us men) and to deny this would be to outright lie. However, porn fucks this natural hierarchy up and makes us lose sight of all that is beautiful and wonderful about a real woman, flaws and all.

Yes, you are definitely stepping in the right direction.

👍 👍
 
I love it man. Real is the only deal.

Yes it's true that some girls are better looking than others (the same with us men) and to deny this would be to outright lie. However, porn fucks this natural hierarchy up and makes us lose sight of all that is beautiful and wonderful about a real woman, flaws and all.

Yes, you are definitely stepping in the right direction.

👍 👍
100% dude, I want to get to know a girl more as a person now vs. before where attractiveness was the only factor (and would have to be 10/10). Not 100% there but it's getting there. I'm also just really glad to now be attracted to normal girls. It's not quite as as strong per se as it should be but it's certainly getting there. Amazing how porn warps our psyche
 
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