Smashing life bro!
Doing well, thank you. I hurt my wrist a while back, so I'm not writing much here at the moment. But I'm staying strong, which is all that matters.What a bumpy road! Glad to be driving smoothly (for a while at least) haha. How're
Ah that's tough man. Maybe worth doing some PT for it? The human body is quite good at healing so just take it easy as you ramp back in (can't tell you the amount of times I've ramped 100% back in and then re-injured myself)Doing well, thank you. I hurt my wrist a while back, so I'm not writing much here at the moment. But I'm staying strong, which is all that matters.
Best to you brother.
Thanks so much for this super thoughtful reply Blondie! Some really good ideas here, the two second rule is probably the best way to go about this for now. I like the distinction you made that if you're not going to approach, then there's no point to keep staring (especially as you don't want to make women uncomfortable by being a creeper).I'm so proud of you @First_step_thousand_miles! What a milestone to accomplish brother.
As far as the wandering eyes go in regards to girls in yoga pants, that's a tough one. Like many things when it comes to recovery, there is a balance that needs to be found in this. On the one hand, the shape of a woman's backside is truly the Lord's work and it must be acknowledge as such, but on the other hand, unless you're going to approach her and try to talk to her, there's really no point in starring, because, besides the creeper factor, it will just make you sexually frustrated, much less, possibly relapse. What you mention is good, the bouncing eyes, or two second rule, is a good way to go about it. I like the two second rule, because you see her, you acknowledge her beauty, but then you move on with your day (mental note, I just changed that sentence from "you see it, you acknowledge it" to "her". Think about that!)
And you're correct, this really does just take practice, and it gets better as time goes on. I'm not perfect in this regard, but I've never been one to stare, because I never wanted to be "that guy". However, today I was back at school, and there was an angel walking before me that literally made me believe in God again, at least for a few seconds, it was probably three to be honest! Did I feel bad about this? No. Because, firstly, I wasn't scoping for hot girls (like so many guys I see at campus) I was just minding my business and she happened to walk right in front of me. Secondly, I appreciated her beauty for a few seconds (she literally made me want to write a song or something), but then I went along with my day and haven't thought about her since. Thus, I didn't feel bad about it, and my mind was not full of junk or any thoughts of looking at porn etc. Maybe I looked a touch too long, but in general, I felt like a red-blooded man, but also a good man, and that's key.
We're men, but we also want to be good men. Finding that balance is what this journey is all about.
Congrats again my man.
Yeah, there really is no point. She's not yours, you have no intention to talk to her, so in my estimation, it's kind of an unmanly thing to do. And trust me, women know you're checking them out, so it really does you no good, especially if you have no intentions of making a move and talking to her. And for a guy like me who has a girlfriend, this is doubly so. Thus, we can see her, appreciate her for two seconds, then move on with our day with a little twinkle in our eye and a extra hop in our step.the two second rule is probably the best way to go about this for now. I like the distinction you made that if you're not going to approach, then there's no point to keep staring
lol I understand this completely, truly the greatest invention known to mankind. Trust me, you'll get a girlfriend one day, and you'll be happy they were invented. Until then, when you see these beauties in yoga pants, think of them as your sisters, which will instantly switch your mind to different thoughts entirely, much more holistic thoughts. I don't mean blood sisters, but just fellow sisters, on the same team of life as you are. Thus, they might be beautiful and (hot) but they're fellow humans, and not just some object to be thought of for your own amusement.Yoga pants are a curse lol as much as I appreciate the positives, they're no fun for guys seeking to recover.