The stronger and more reliable men are, the more women can relax into their most feminine selves.
I love this quote too, and it's true.
Women have proven that they can "be in charge" in the modern world, and that's great. I love it. However, in my own experience, and just looking at the world around me, women still love and dare I say, need men who are real men, who can be a leaders in their relationships. And to be clear I'm not talking about the domineering macho nonsense, no, I'm talking about a real leader. For example, whenever I've taken charge of something in our relationship, or have made a decision that she didn't want to make, there was always an instant attraction spike that happened, and thus, she could "relax into her feminine spirit". Even something as stupid as picking out where to eat sometimes does this. This kind of thing NEVER happened to me in my early twenties, because I simply wasn't able to make decisions back then, or worse, I didn't know how to be a leader, or much worse, I didn't want to a leader, because I didn't want to "impose my will upon her". As I've gotten older, I've realized being a leader and being an asshole are two entirely different things.
One thing that I still fail at here and there, is keeping my word as a leader. For example, for our monthly budget, I've almost always been the one who says we should cut back on this or that, i.e. fun money, which is usually wine money for the month, or going out to eat. However, there's been times when I've said we should only drink two times a month or whatever, but then, in a moment of weakness and wanting to have some
"fun" for the night, I came home with some wine to surprise her. Funny thing is, she initially is really happy when I come home with a surprise wine, however, I can always sense a slight lost of respect for me later on, especially if I do this over and over again and act against my spoken convictions. Which makes sense because she wants to put her trust in me, but yet, my actions do not match my words, thus, she can't rest as much in her femininity and has to be somewhat on her masculine guard for our budget, when I was the one who brought it up in the first place. Thus, she loves the surprise and is 'happy', but internally, this doesn't seem to be the case, at least not for long. I think she does this without even thinking about it, it's on a subconscious level, but I do know some women, who will literally do this on purpose as a test, just to see what kind of man you're made of. For example, my girlfriend doesn't do this, but if she did, she knowing my convictions, would ask me if we could have wine that night, alreadly knowing we had alreadly passed our month's budget. If I said no, she might be unhappy for a moment, but trust my masculine core and be attracted to me, but if I said yes, she might act "happy" in the moment, but deep down inside, she would lose respect for me. Call it the feminine way of sifting out the real men from the boys. Many guys hate this, and think women are just playing bitchy games (which in truth, some of them are) but in reality for most women, it's just their way of picking out a good match. Thus, if you fail, don't be mad at them or the game, be mad at yourself for giving in so easy. Feminine women make us men better and truer to our masculine selves. So don't fall for the trap of thinking just because she's 'happy' in the moment, it doesn't necessarily mean she's happy with YOU and your lack of masculinity. Happy does not equal turned on. Women are very "happy" around puppies, but... well you get my analogy.
Any boy can dress up cool and walk with a strut like James Bond. But it takes a real man to both believe in himself and his convictions, and learn how to lean into his masculine core to be a real leader, not just for himself, but for his loved ones as well.
I'm definitely still a work in progress in this regard, but we're getting there. One day at a time.
I love this conversation.
