I will make it -- Looking forward to taking my life back

[First_step_thousand_miles]

Day 673 no porn
Day 61 no MO
Daily meditation
Daily cold showers

Got hard just thinking about this girl yesterday. I'm not experiencing high libido or anything while out but it seems everything is working just fine down there when it needs to -- I guess this is life on the other side! Mentally I'm not feeling the urge to stare but as Blondie says, to just appreciate quickly and move on. Which is pretty awesome but I haven't experienced this feeling in a LONG time. Not since at least my freshman year of college when I started using porn and about 1yr later it had already wrecked my circuitry. Feels good to be getting back

Went on a date Sunday. While I honestly wasn't super attracted to this girl, it was nice getting the reps in, making her laugh and just feeling better about getting out there. I was pretty nervous prior to the date but it went pretty well. Not sure about the next date but I'm glad to really get out there a bit more. Gonna join the apps likely May or maybe June which I feel my brain is pretty ready for though we'll see

Otherwise, I'm happy with the gym progress. I'm regularly doing 3x weightlifting per week (this week 2x just to give more time to recover) and then walking 10k steps like 5 days a week on avg. Weather is getting better too which is great. Locking down my meals with this meal prep service and being more careful when eating out

I love @Blondie's idea of putting the weight on here, really keeps you honest! I'm thinking about doing the same just to keep myself honest and course correct quickly as needed too. Love you all, what a great community!

 

[First_step_thousand_miles]

Day 675 no porn
Day 63 no MO
Daily meditation
Daily cold showers

Man two nights ago I really wanted to MO but stayed strong. I just want to make it to day 100 and then I'm good, will MO again (will aim for 2-3x weekly) but this is a big test in discipline. Gonna make it

 

[First_step_thousand_miles]

Day 676 no porn
Day 64 no MO
Daily meditation
Daily cold showers

Want to talk today about replacement activities -- Huberman had a pod where he mentions the biggest predictor of success in breaking any addiction is have replacement activities (working out, hanging with friends, reading, tennis, long walks, etc). Now I'm mostly past the stage of the massive urges (still have a few here and there but WAY lower than when I started the reboot) so I'll focus on something I discussed some time ago which was the idea of living too much in fantasy / digital worlds and not enough in the real world. I don't use social media (maybe Youtube for fitness videos and Reddit once in a blue moon but that's it). No porn either of course. My main 'digital' activities / non-real life stuff includes reading fiction (reading nonfiction is totally ok IMO), video games, anime, and general TV shows. Here's where I'm at

1. Reading fiction -- this has been cut down by like 20% vs. a year ago. I'll see how long I can sustain it, the main way to make this change permanent is spend even more time with people out and about. Whether friends or trying to date more or whatever

2. Video games -- these days I virtually only game with friends (vs. alone) so it's more a social activity. Total gaming time per week is maybe 5hrs but it's off-hours after I do my productive stuff like work / working out

3. Anime -- I don't watch any porn-like anime anymore. What I do watch is maybe ~1hr weekly for new shows

4. TV shows -- I think this is like a 5-6hrs per week on avg, really depends. Some weeks I watch barely any while others I binge something

Overall my time spent in these digital worlds of unproductive activity have come down a lot vs. a year ago. I think some of it is ok btw, we all need an escape sometimes! It's about overuse which is the issue where I've been prone to it.

I'm actually overall pretty happy with my digital usage these days, only thing is cutting down fiction more and sustaining it. The key here is continuing to spend time with REAL people as the replacement activity. I love working out and long walks but that can only fill so much time, so this is probably the main area. Might want to figure out another hobby as well (or switch to reading nonfiction more). Still thinking this through, but at least for me this is a HUGE necessary step to live and focus on the real world. I feel like I spent the last decade overly on the digital world , I want to shift gears and push forward with my life.

I was doing the basic math, gonna get my BF checked in a week or so but I assume I'll be around ~20% (down from 22% in Jan). From here though I've got my meals locked down so I can lose quickly. Assuming I'm 20%, if I can lose 13lb of fat I can get to 12% BF! This is my goal, I want to do it by end of June if possible. Have a vacation for two weeks in the middle, so cutting that out it gives me 8 solid weeks. Not gonna be easy but I'll do by best. If I can't do it by then but maybe only get to 15% that's ok too (I'll push to 12% in another month then) but gonna shoot for the moon!

 

[First_step_thousand_miles]

Day 677 no porn
Day 65 no MO
Daily meditation
Daily cold showers

 

[Blondie]

I think this is great @First_step_thousand_miles. Cutting out some of this stuff is a healthy thing, especially if doing them too much. I like that you're trying to keep it balanced though because there's nothing wrong with any of it, however, over indulgence can be a problem.

I was doing the basic math, gonna get my BF checked in a week or so but I assume I'll be around ~20% (down from 22% in Jan). From here though I've got my meals locked down so I can lose quickly. Assuming I'm 20%, if I can lose 13lb of fat I can get to 12% BF! This is my goal, I want to do it by end of June if possible. Have a vacation for two weeks in the middle, so cutting that out it gives me 8 solid weeks. Not gonna be easy but I'll do by best. If I can't do it by then but maybe only get to 15% that's ok too (I'll push to 12% in another month then) but gonna shoot for the moon!

This is great. Can't wait to see what you do with this. That is a pretty ambitious goal, but it can be done. Have you been at 20% before, or is this a new body weight for you? Either way, if this is the first time, congrats, even if you didn't lose anymore you're alreadly at a better weight than most Americans (even for your age) and anything extra is just the icing on the cake. It's amazing and sad to think how overweight we all are in this country. Even just walking around campus with young people who should be at least normal (20%) they're quite a few who are well over that percentage.

Keep killing it man, and congrats on 66 days of no MO. Absolutely amazing!

 

[First_step_thousand_miles]

I think this is great @First_step_thousand_miles. Cutting out some of this stuff is a healthy thing, especially if doing them too much. I like that you're trying to keep it balanced though because there's nothing wrong with any of it, however, over indulgence can be a problem.

100% man, some stuff you're better off eliminating entirely (hard drugs, porn, etc) while others are fine in moderation (alcohol, TV, etc)

This is great. Can't wait to see what you do with this. That is a pretty ambitious goal, but it can be done. Have you been at 20% before, or is this a new body weight for you? Either way, if this is the first time, congrats, even if you didn't lose anymore you're alreadly at a better weight than most Americans (even for your age) and anything extra is just the icing on the cake. It's amazing and sad to think how overweight we all are in this country. Even just walking around campus with young people who should be at least normal (20%) they're quite a few who are well over that percentage.

Yessir, my senior year of high school I'm pretty sure I was around 12-13%. I think I was around 13-14% when I was 20 or so as well, so I know it's doable. Metabolism is definitely lower today than back then, but I know it's still doable. I look thinner in the mirror and my belt buckle (32 inch waist right now) feels comfortable. I remember I had a similar size like 4 months ago but my belt buckle was tight af and I've gotten stronger on all of my lifts. All of this makes me think I'm down from 22% 3-4 months ago to 20% now, but moment of truth will be next Monday when I go get myself checked out at the gym where they have the machine to measure it

Agreed it's not too bad even at 20-22%, but my issue is I'm skinny fat. 22% BF looks way different on different people depending on where they store the fat -- for me and many others, we store more of it in our upper body whereas many lucky folk store it in their legs where it's way less noticeable. So for instance I might need to get to 13% BF to look like someone at 18% BF who stores in their legs haha. It's just what it is

Keep killing it man, and congrats on 66 days of no MO. Absolutely amazing!

Thanks my man, it is getting hard again as that burst of 2+ weeks where post wet dream my libido just dampened is gone and there are some urges. Can't wait to get to Day 100, I find in long periods of no MO the urges get stronger and fantasies are entertained in my head longer because my body just wants the release haha. That's why after a lot of thought, talking to out, and research I think 1-3x weekly masturbation seems to be a reasonable benchmark IMO. 2/3 of the way there!

 

[First_step_thousand_miles]

Day 678 no porn
Daily meditation
Daily cold showers

Some good and bad news. Bad news is that I MO'd last night, just could not get to sleep. I got so horny that I started looking up pics and random crap (which I hadn't done at all since starting the no MO) so I think the no MO was maybe more detrimental for me in a way.

Good news is I MO'd to a girl I knew from back in college (Pri) who was REALLY into me but I remember thinking even at the time that she was not attractive at all. Yet my erection was really hard and consistent (didn't last long though haha) thinking of just normal missionary. I could've sworn before this day that there was no way I could've gotten it up for this girl, yet I did with no issues. So I'll count that as a win

It is what it is, I don't think longer abstaining periods will really get me much farther. I think the other thing I was doing this reboot as I was so horny is fantasizing in my head to porn-like scenarios instead of immediately cutting off that train of thought. I need to be more mindful of nipping that crap in the bud

 

[Blondie]

Hey @First_step_thousand_miles. It's okay man, that was a long stretch you had, nothing to beat yourself over. I mean think about it, how many dudes your age have gone even a week without banging one out, much less what you did? That's the thing with that type of restraint too, if you have no outlet for constant sex it becomes a mighty torrent to hold back. On the flipside though, having sex but trying not to get off is insane too, so I don't know which one is worse. Either way, you're all good. Maybe at this point, just holding it in for a week at a time would be a gold standard. That way you can feel the sensation of the buildup and get that benefit, but it's nothing so extraordinary where you can't stop thinking about it all the time.

Good to hear you got hard for someone "normal" back in the day. That's what it's all about.

Yessir, my senior year of high school I'm pretty sure I was around 12-13%. I think I was around 13-14% when I was 20 or so as well, so I know it's doable. Metabolism is definitely lower today than back then, but I know it's still doable.

Nice! I have no clue if I've ever been anything less than 18% like I was a few years back. So I'm pretty excited to get there again. Keep it up, that fat percentage if that's what you want would be sweet.

Best

 

[First_step_thousand_miles]

Hey @First_step_thousand_miles. It's okay man, that was a long stretch you had, nothing to beat yourself over. I mean think about it, how many dudes your age have gone even a week without banging one out, much less what you did? That's the thing with that type of restraint too, if you have no outlet for constant sex it becomes a mighty torrent to hold back. On the flipside though, having sex but trying not to get off is insane too, so I don't know which one is worse. Either way, you're all good. Maybe at this point, just holding it in for a week at a time would be a gold standard. That way you can feel the sensation of the buildup and get that benefit, but it's nothing so extraordinary where you can't stop thinking about it all the time.

Thank you my man. Yeah I'm not punishing myself over this, at some point when the body is crying for release it's just so easy to slip into fantasizing since your brain is just looking for an outlet -- which is fine until it isn't as it creeps into porn territory. This was happening quite a bit and leading down some dangerous roads, so I'm not sure trying for an extra 33 days would've been worth it

I really like your idea of holding it in for a week at a time. That should be a reasonable MO cadence while also giving my brain decent chunks of rest in between. Let me think on this some more!

Good to hear you got hard for someone "normal" back in the day. That's what it's all about.

100%. I would've sworn I couldn't get hard for this girl, but I randomly thought about her and just started getting hard which was a WTF moment (in a good way). So I was like, well if I'm gonna break the streak might as well do it in a way where I also feel a sense of progress. Didn't have to imagine anything crazy, just regular making out and then bam. Pretty incredible

Nice! I have no clue if I've ever been anything less than 18% like I was a few years back. So I'm pretty excited to get there again. Keep it up, that fat percentage if that's what you want would be sweet.

Best

Hey man, gotta break up a goal into chunks! That's the best way to not make it super daunting. So shoot for 20% first, then 18% and then if you want you can go even lower. My ultimate goal is 12% but I'd be happy with 15% by end of June (maybe 12% by end of Aug after that). We'll see

Much love to you for the support my man! I honestly feel pretty good about where I'm at, only going to MO to regular girls and max 3x a week (though will continue to think on your point of 1x a week as that's a good idea too)

 

[First_step_thousand_miles]

Day 681 no porn
Daily meditation
Daily cold showers

MO'd again last night to a random girl I saw while out at a bar. Btw a completely average girl, honestly a little fat (no judgement though!) -- I just bring this up because my MO was very good.

Previously prior to this last 60+ day reboot, I had only MO'd to women who were straight up attractive -- like 7s and 8s and the occasional 6. When I first did my reboot nearly 2yrs ago, I could only MO'd to women who were like 8s and 9s.

Now, I can MO to women who are 5s or even 4s! Literally just imagining having vanilla good times with average women (give or take a point) gets me pretty darn hard! I never thought this day would come, even if I didn't make it to 100 days no MO this is a HUGE progress marker.

I had actually feared for like the past year that I could only get hard to women who were 7s (which put pressure on me to have to be able to get with a 7 girl or else). Now I know I can get hard to just average women, which is AWESOME! Really takes a load off my mind as and not worry so much about the dating scene.

I can also MO to women of literally any race which I worried was not possible for me (even though it sounds silly in hindsight). It's a good day

 

[First_step_thousand_miles]

Day 682 no porn
Daily meditation
Daily cold showers

Also MO'd last night to another girl from the bar who was maybe a 6. Anyway, don't mean to harp on the point or try to rate women too much or anything, just noting it down for later reference.

I'm really glad I did this 60+ day no MO streak. Just feeling way better about stuff. All said. though, I have MO'd a fair bit now over the past week so I'm going to take a few days off and keep MO's at 1-3x a week max from here on out as much as possible. Maybe even abstain for a week or so like Blondie suggested

 

[First_step_thousand_miles]

Day 684 no porn
Daily meditation
Daily cold showers

Starting today going to take a week or so off MO. Headed out on vacation so might not post a ton this week. Going to be careful on my food choices though, last thing I want is to derail my weight loss progress

 

[First_step_thousand_miles]

Day 690 no porn
Daily meditation
Daily cold showers

Just got back from vacation, pretty exhausted actually. MO'd once a few days ago to this girl who was a little chunky that I had failed to get it up to in the 1st year of my reboot. MO was quite strong, think I'm really ready to take that next step with women

Otherwise, got my BF measurement tomorrow. I controlled myself pretty well on vacation and even worked out 2x so hopefully that all kept my weight stable. We'll see tomorrow, I'm hoping to better iron out my goals afterwards on fitness side. Took a ton of pics (some will be used for dating apps after I hit my 2yr mark!) and I look a lot better than I did a year ago

Hope everyone is well

 

[First_step_thousand_miles]

Day 707 no porn
Daily meditation
Daily cold showers

So couple things -- apparently I miscounted the days somewhere on no porn! I know this because my journal began in May 15, 2022 and 730 days (2yrs) gets me to May 15, 2024. So counting backwards from May 15 to today implies 707 days. Not sure where the screw up was!

Anyway I have mixed news on the BF -- I did the test and I'm at 21.4% (vs. 22% on Jan). The test even says I lost 1lb of muscle! The scan was InBody, which apparently is notoriously inaccurate lol. And the results don't really make sense given I'm comfortably fitting in my belt buckle of 32 (couldn't really do it back in Jan without pain) and nearly all of my lifts have come up materially. So I guess I'll use this scanner to directionally show progress but back to square 1 on knowing the actual BF percentages.

Going forward, I'm gonna keep track of my progress in 4 ways:

- Belt buckle. Losing 2 is the ultimate goal and this 100% is a marker of fat loss
- Mirror. Obvious enough
- Weight scale. Won't show muscle gains as much but still should be helpful
- Lifts going up at the gym

Combo of these 4 things should give me a good sense of things -- either way, the mirror is the most important one since that will dictate how I feel about may physique and where course corrections may need to be made. We push onwards

 

[Blondie]

Hey @First_step_thousand_miles, don't feel too bad about this, because it's hard to say why this happended with these types of things. Maybe it was accurat or maybe it was not, or maybe somewhere in between. That's one thing I like about the home body weight/fat scales is that you get to see progress every few days, even if it's NOT 100% perfect. Personally, even if it's a percent off either up or down, as long as you see it going down over the long haul, you know you're making progress and that's all you need to know. Plus, with the visual bodyfat comparisons that you can find online, and using those to compare yourself over time, plus your belt size, these are all things as you mentioned that are REAL progress.

Either way, don't let this old fuck beat you in the body fat percentage category.

Best brother
Blondie

 

[First_step_thousand_miles]

Hey @First_step_thousand_miles, don't feel too bad about this, because it's hard to say why this happended with these types of things. Maybe it was accurat or maybe it was not, or maybe somewhere in between. That's one thing I like about the home body weight/fat scales is that you get to see progress every few days, even if it's NOT 100% perfect. Personally, even if it's a percent off either up or down, as long as you see it going down over the long haul, you know you're making progress and that's all you need to know. Plus, with the visual bodyfat comparisons that you can find online, and using those to compare yourself over time, plus your belt size, these are all things as you mentioned that are REAL progress.

Either way, don't let this old fuck beat you in the body fat percentage category.

Best brother
Blondie

For sure man, I don't really feel bad. One, the InBody is not super accurate. Two, I look better in the mirror today than 4 months ago and that's the important thing -- BF is just a way to quantify the appearance at the end of the day. The goal is not BF, but rather health & appearance so can't lose sight of that. As long as I look better in the mirror in a month, and again in a month, etc I'll be quite happy

You're exactly right, as long as you're moving directionally the right way you're solid. Hahaha you're not old man, but as a man with a partner I guess there's considerably less forced motivation! It's always funny to me how single guys/girls are SUPER in shape (at least in the cities) while the ones who partner up balloon after a few years...nothing wrong at all with that, but really goes to show our incentives in a way

 

[Blondie]

It's always funny to me how single guys/girls are SUPER in shape (at least in the cities) while the ones who partner up balloon after a few years...nothing wrong at all with that, but really goes to show our incentives in a way

This is true and it is definitely a sign of disrepect on the woman's part. Obvously if both blimp out, then they were meant for each other, but if the man is taking care of himself and the woman doesnt seem to give a shit and let's herself go (over a period of years), that is a real problem that needs to be addressed. Both sexes do it, but I've seen it more with women in my lifetime. Fortunately for myself, My Lady doesn't see it that way and wants to look good for me, and I do for her as well, but I've seen it many a time with friends and others where their women just stop giving a fuck.

No thank you.

 

[First_step_thousand_miles]

This is true and it is definitely a sign of disrepect on the woman's part. Obvously if both blimp out, then they were meant for each other, but if the man is taking care of himself and the woman doesnt seem to give a shit and let's herself go (over a period of years), that is a real problem that needs to be addressed. Both sexes do it, but I've seen it more with women in my lifetime. Fortunately for myself, My Lady doesn't see it that way and wants to look good for me, and I do for her as well, but I've seen it many a time with friends and others where their women just stop giving a fuck.

No thank you.

Yeah I don't know what's at the root of it -- could be disrespect as you say, maybe just laziness too? It can be exhausting to always have to be at your best and worry if you're not, then you're not enough for someone. Psychologically that's pretty infuriating to our subconscious. Then again, unconditional love is kind of a fairy tail thing rather than what 99% of people experience in the real world -- though sometimes I wonder, you ever see those couples where the man loses his ability to walk (paraplegic) or gets Alzheimer's early on and the woman stays with him, even feeding him and washing him for decades on end? That honestly leaves me in utter awe, we're really talking about 1% of couples who are there for each other like that. In today's era, that's probably even lower. But it's a beautiful thing when you see it

Anyway, that's a bit off topic but I guess the other way to look at that is almost like catfishing haha -- you showed up looking good and then 5yrs later you're 30lb heavier and don't wear makeup...well I'd feel a little cheated haha. Anyway just food for thought, I'm glad you and your lady keep things good. At some level you do it for you and at another for your partner. Both are healthy when not taken to extremes I think

 

[First_step_thousand_miles]

Day 712 no porn
Daily meditation
Daily cold showers

Had dinner with a friend yesterday, as soon as I saw down he remarked that I'd lost weight and my face looked sharper -- I'd only seen him in Jan when the body scanner says I was 22% BF, so even if it says it's 21% now I've made a lot of progress. I'm like 99% sure it's not right haha. Either way, nice to get some comments with people noticing on my fat loss

Gonna have a nice gym session again today. I notice a patterns with MO btw, when I stay in the moment I the erections are strong. But when I stop and bring myself to the present moment or think about other stuff, it comes down. Which is natural from what I understand, would be easier to stay in the moment when you are in the moment with a girl but when it's just you sometimes other stuff can just creep up. Either way, had a few decent MO's earlier yesterday but this morning I also MO'd (I know, it was a lot though I hadn't MO'd this week at all prior) where it was weaker but sensation was also way worse given I had two MO's last night. And I keep getting interrupted because my door wasn't locked (no one came in but I was worried they would, which constantly took me out of the moment).

Either way while my immediate instinct is to often worry it, the concerns are pretty minimal. I've had enough really fantastic MO's in the past month and even earlier in year / late last year to just vanilla stuff. I'm gonna keep moving forward in all aspects of my life

 

[Blondie]

Hey @First_step_thousand_miles, what a great thing to have someone notice your weight loss. That's always so encouraging. I definitely wouldn't worry about what that old scale said now that's for sure.

Keep it up brother!