I will make it -- Looking forward to taking my life back

Blondie

Blondie

Respected Member
I glad that experience was good for you First Step!

It's very easy to get into your head after having problems before, so it's great that it was better than your previous time. My first experience with sex was a disaster, that's when I learned the hard way what porn can do to you, needless to say, I took note (poor girl, she probably didn't think I was in to her, literally!).

I definitely agree that quitting MO will fix your recovery time and I would highly recommend it. However, I wouldn't do it just for the dick fix but for the mental discipline it takes to hold back on something so pleasurable. There's nothing more manly than walking around with many weeks of semen under your belt and focusing on your goals.

I'm glad to see you realize that this is a long term game, and that we must do whatever it takes to get there.

Keep fighting man!

Best
 
First_step_thousand_miles

First_step_thousand_miles

Well-Known Member
Blondie said:
I glad that experience was good for you First Step!

It's very easy to get into your head after having problems before, so it's great that it was better than your previous time. My first experience with sex was a disaster, that's when I learned the hard way what porn can do to you, needless to say, I took note (poor girl, she probably didn't think I was in to her, literally!).

I definitely agree that quitting MO will fix your recovery time and I would highly recommend it. However, I wouldn't do it just for the dick fix but for the mental discipline it takes to hold back on something so pleasurable. There's nothing more manly than walking around with many weeks of semen under your belt and focusing on your goals.

I'm glad to see you realize that this is a long term game, and that we must do whatever it takes to get there.

Keep fighting man!

Best
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You are the man Blondie, can't tell you how much your encouragement and support has helped me.

Makes total sense on your point about discipline as well, to be honest I felt like I was losing some of that discipline mid-way through the reboot & letting my cravings control me (even though I wasn't using porn). I'm going to do my utmost to avoid MO until the next time I have sex, or at the very least for another couple months -- would love to get thru one 90 day period of hard mode to really cleanse the system.

Also LOL, love how you said that "There's nothing more manly than walking around with many weeks of semen under your belt" but it totally makes sense! Thanks again brother, I think it's a question of how much you want to fight for your future ultimately. If it means a longer fight than you expected, so be it. But it's at least very encouraging to see all of these signs of progress over time as it helps me keep the faith. God bless you Blondie
 
First_step_thousand_miles

First_step_thousand_miles

Well-Known Member
Holy crap -- it's day 90! I wasn't paying any attention to the days and suddenly just calculated because I was curious how close I was to day 90. Feels pretty good to get this far, though that's dulled a bit by sleep deprivation in past week

Reminds me a long of what @Blondie talks about though, if your biggest goal is to quit porn then you're setting yourself up for failure. Quitting porn was ultimately just one of my goals (others including weight loss & making more friends in my area), I'm making progress on all of them (albeit at different paces, the weight loss one is a bit slow haha). Regardless, onwards to Day 100! That's a bigger milestone in my mind, I want to join @Blondie and @SmokenMirrors in the 3-figure club!

I know there's a ways to go yet but at this point I feel like I'm cruising. The porn temptations do occasionally whisper like a) when I see a picture of a hot girl on the internet or b) when I'm bored and looking for something stimulating (and porn jumps to the top sometimes). That said, the urges are generally pretty easy to deal with. I think you have to give yourself hope for the future to really make this work -- I know great sex with a partner I love is out there, so just need to stay strong, work on myself, and it'll work out. Honestly at this point my biggest goal is to lose weight and healing from porn is basically in the background. Looking forward to hitting Day 100!
 
First_step_thousand_miles

First_step_thousand_miles

Well-Known Member
Blondie said:
Congrats First Step on 90 days! You'll get to the 3-figure club real soon.


This.

Keep killing it man.

Thinking long term is the only way.

Best
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Thanks for being here every step of the way man! Seeing you do it made me more confident that I could do it too. We're both going to make it and look back in 5yrs and just laugh, realizing how much better life really is without porn. Let's keep chasing after those dreams brother
 
First_step_thousand_miles

First_step_thousand_miles

Well-Known Member
SmokenMirrors said:
You've done so well man! I'm proud of you! See you in the 3 figure club very soon!
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You too my dude, very proud to see you've made it this far too!! Pretty awesome that we started this journey at a pretty similar time and that we've both really accomplished some amazing stuff. You're definitely ahead on it (90 days or so!), but will see you there soon enough my dude haha

Getting rid of porn really feels like the first step in starting the rest of our lives. Feels so freeing already not dealing with daily cravings, one chain is really slipping off so time to keep tackling the rest one by one until I feel like I'm reaching my true potential as a man
 
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First_step_thousand_miles

First_step_thousand_miles

Well-Known Member
Day 91 -- 90 days complete. So one thing I'm noticing with the 90 day update is that I just don't feel the urge to journal as much anymore given how much farther I've gotten / how much more confidence I feel in my ability to beat this. Most days I don't really even think about it, have way more other things that I'm thinking about (guess in some ways when one worry / issue gets solved you move on to another one! Gotta work on this as it's no way to live life.

Either way I will certainly be coming back and journaling on here & following folks like Blondie & SmokenMirrors to hear how their lives are going as well, but the frequency will be lower vs. my first 60 days or so. One day -- maybe 6 months into the reboot or 1yr into the reboot -- once I really feel like I've put this truly behind me I aim to do a full write-up on my end to end experience with tips / resources / etc. And I want to post it on as multiple different forums (not just reboot ones) to a) spread awareness of this and b) show it CAN be beaten.

I know lots of others stop posting once they feel like they've beaten this -- which is totally natural -- and doubt those of us here now will also be posting here in a decade. However, for a newcomer it really is helpful to see a ton of success stories and a ton of different journeys (some started P when they were in their early teens vs. late teens, some had sex before starting P while others didn't, some had specific genres and behaviors, etc). All of these are different and newcomers often wonder if a) they can succeed and b) if their specific case is that different. I want to contribute, in some small way, to this amazing repository of Success Stories with my own to show new folks that they CAN beat these demons.

Saw on one post in another random forum (not p-related) that this guy knew a ton of friends who struggled to quit and never did. That's super disillusioning for a guy who's trying to quit to read. But as many of us have proven, it is possible to win. I haven't won just quite yet but I will. God bless all of us
 
First_step_thousand_miles

First_step_thousand_miles

Well-Known Member
Day 96 -- Hmm, so interesting progress here. When I relapsed that first time I think in early May (or late April), it was because I felt crappy after a workout injury (one major reason we relapse is to not feel crappy). I actually got injured again (minor injury) but this time only felt mild urges to PMO. Interestingly though my subconscious clearly felt the urge because I had a porn-dream last night of myself succumbing and watching porn! In my dream I justified it by saying 'it's only for a little' bit as while I was able to get hard without it, the novelty / stimulation of porn would get me harder way faster!

Anyway, woke up feeling glad I hadn't relapsed. In my conscious mind while awake, I can resist urges much easier now. I gotta say, ever since I stopped M'ing there are more urges as my body is crying out for some release. That said, while I originally stopped MO (clean since Day 81 on this) because of the itch issue (which has 90% subsided by this point), I'm committed to going a full 90-day hard more right. So no M until day 171 as I really want to heal as fast as possible. Anyway, just thought this was worth journaling. We forge onwards, Day 100 is just around the corner on Monday! Super psyched for this milestone
 
SmokenMirrors

SmokenMirrors

Well-Known Member
First_step_thousand_miles said:
Day 96 -- Hmm, so interesting progress here. When I relapsed that first time I think in early May (or late April), it was because I felt crappy after a workout injury (one major reason we relapse is to not feel crappy). I actually got injured again (minor injury) but this time only felt mild urges to PMO. Interestingly though my subconscious clearly felt the urge because I had a porn-dream last night of myself succumbing and watching porn! In my dream I justified it by saying 'it's only for a little' bit as while I was able to get hard without it, the novelty / stimulation of porn would get me harder way faster!

Anyway, woke up feeling glad I hadn't relapsed. In my conscious mind while awake, I can resist urges much easier now. I gotta say, ever since I stopped M'ing there are more urges as my body is crying out for some release. That said, while I originally stopped MO (clean since Day 81 on this) because of the itch issue (which has 90% subsided by this point), I'm committed to going a full 90-day hard more right. So no M until day 171 as I really want to heal as fast as possible. Anyway, just thought this was worth journaling. We forge onwards, Day 100 is just around the corner on Monday! Super psyched for this milestone
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Your mind is healing! I still get urges every now and then, let's stay strong bro!
 
First_step_thousand_miles

First_step_thousand_miles

Well-Known Member
SmokenMirrors said:
Your mind is healing! I still get urges every now and then, let's stay strong bro!
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Thanks bro, some mild urges are fine I suppose. Sometimes I get urges on some of the stranger genres (brain is seeking novelty) but I just ignore it. Way easier to do it now than before. Will definitely stay strong, now that we've made it this far there's a huuuuge sunk cost. Life is only going to get better and better staying P-free and achieving our goals
 
First_step_thousand_miles

First_step_thousand_miles

Well-Known Member
Blondie said:
How we doing First Step?
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Thanks Blondie! I tried to post last night to say that Day 100 was over as of Monday but the site seemed to be down? Well now I'll announce Day 101 is over and I'm on Day 102 haha

Feeling pretty good my man, gotta say it is not easy doing hard mode! The P is much easier to avoid but no MO is definitely a challenge. That said, I'd really like to do the full hard mode to get my brain healing in the best way before re-introducing MO.

I'm studying for this annoying test right now but as soon as I knock that out, I'm really looking forward to all the time that's going to free up in my life for more exercise, more reading, more time with friends, etc. Just living life my man!
 
First_step_thousand_miles

First_step_thousand_miles

Well-Known Member
Day 108 -- I MO'd today, just really hard to resist the temptation. Unfortunately don't know why but I guess I wasn't in the mood or something because I wasn't getting very hard & honestly finished pretty quickly. Does that ever happen to any of y'all?

Did 28 straight days of no MO, man doing hard mode for the full 90 is so hard. 1st attempt I made it something like 40-45 days. I'm really glad I've stayed away from P for >100 days but I'd really like to do the hard mode 90 ideally. Though from my understanding it's not necessary to heal at this point in the recovery at least, but would accelerate it.

Regardless, wondering now if I should try again for the hard 90 or not. Starting from 0 on that MO clock means it would take until the end of Nov which is pretty daunting, but might be worth it. Maybe I'll try to start that on day 110 and get to day 200 that way (on P alone) which would be 90 days no MO. Dunno, I don't want to be too hard on myself but I also want to heal quickly. My fault for MO'ing but just getting lot of random temptations these days -- quite a few on P, so I took the lesser of two evils and just MO'd
 
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