I will make it -- Looking forward to taking my life back

Blondie

Respected Member
I agree with @SmokenMirrors.

It's too easy to think in black and white and miss the point. Most of us here are here to quit porn, with masturbation being a secondary problem. As long as you're not doing it all the time and going as long as possible, I don't see it as problematic to your recovery. If I didn't have a sexual outlet I would be doing the same thing.

I still want to try 90 days no orgasm sometime but haven't got the urge to push that hard yet, I've only done 60 days a couple of times. At that moment, everything seems to be mostly back to normal so I don't really see the point, or maybe I'm just making excuses! :cool:
 
I agree with @SmokenMirrors.

It's too easy to think in black and white and miss the point. Most of us here are here to quit porn, with masturbation being a secondary problem. As long as you're not doing it all the time and going as long as possible, I don't see it as problematic to your recovery. If I didn't have a sexual outlet I would be doing the same thing.

I still want to try 90 days no orgasm sometime but haven't got the urge to push that hard yet, I've only done 60 days a couple of times. At that moment, everything seems to be mostly back to normal so I don't really see the point, or maybe I'm just making excuses! :cool:
Yeah that's totally fair man. Guess the difference I'm thinking is that I'm still not yet where you are (which sounds like >95% healed, whatever that means to you). I feel like I'm at the halfway point so guess what I'm trying to say is I'd like to get to that 80-90% place or so before resuming masturbation. Does that make sense?

I guess it's just about wanting to accelerate the recovery process as much as possible (letting those P pathways decay faster) but like you say, without a partner MO sort of becomes your default option (which is why it's so hard to resist to do the 90 day hard mode). Like you alluded to, won't punish myself for it but I'll think about what to do from here
 

Blondie

Respected Member
Exactly! You have to do what you think is best.

I do think refraining as you mentioned IS the best option and WILL make your recovery faster. But, if push comes shove and you're about to blow it, masturbation is 20x a better option!

And if your man was a little limp, you do have a ways to go. However, don't be discouraged because it can change will quickly!

Best
 
Exactly! You have to do what you think is best.

I do think refraining as you mentioned IS the best option and WILL make your recovery faster. But, if push comes shove and you're about to blow it, masturbation is 20x a better option!

And if your man was a little limp, you do have a ways to go. However, don't be discouraged because it can change will quickly!

Best
Thank you for all the wisdom and perspective my dude, very helpful as always!
 
Ok I've given it all some thought after listening to the Allfather Blondie -- I'm 100% doing the 90 day hard mode & starting on Day 110 (Thursday). After this point I'm going to reintroduce MO. But what I realize is that I'm not cured by any means just yet, though I can almost taste that future of rock hard erections (figuratively lol, not literally -- I realize that was a weird phrase).

But while I can't predict this all entirely on the timeline, I can at least do what's possible to accelerate it for some amount of time by doing the hard mode. I'm also going into hard mode on exercise & losing weight which should help with overall fitness & is actually proven to help with erectile health too. Might throw in kegels too but that's down the road, main issue is psychological. Anyway, thanks again Blonde & SmokenMirrors!

Side note -- I remember a time when I first started to PMO at age 18 (I know, pretty late!) that I didn't even have to watch the actual sex, just seeing women naked on screen would get me rock hard. Really goes to show how much our brains have desensitized that those same scenes barely do anything & we're craving novelty for something different! When I get back to that point I'll know I'm truly healed. At least I'm seeing some improvements w/ last time I had sex, will have to hold on to these little nuggets. I know that's ahead, just daunting to wonder how far ahead exactly. Going to get after it
 
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Other side note -- would be cool to have a true wet dream honestly. Remember having quite a few when I was 17 / 18, wonder if a 90 day no MO would restore one. Just as another marker of progress. Actually technically had a sex dream last night -- and come to think of it a week or two back as well -- (the higher frequency of these is great as when I PMO'd I only had maybe 2 of these a year) but nothing in my boxers. I know it might be strange to say I want to see something there next time, but really I just mean it in the sense that it would be another show of progress.

Also I think the reboot is taking some more time in my case than the 'classic 90 days' because I PMOd back in the day to a lot of anime porn (which does no favors to anyone). My brain is definitely taking time to adjust to normal women out in the real world. Thought the reboot would happen faster given I only started P at age 18 (past most of the formative years) but I guess the offset was the material I was using. I really do believe though that the 6-9 month mark will be when I'm healed (worst case I know it'll happen within a year just given how brain chemistry works). I really do want to do a lot more rewiring after the next 90 day hard mode though

I guess the other thing I'd say is I'm much less anxious now than I ever remember being. Aside from my mild anxiety issues when I was 23, I've never really had trouble with it too much. Yet it's definitely decreased a lot in the past few months (to be fair I've also made a lot of new friends & stuff which has helped as some of the anxiety was just stemming from loneliness). I do think stopping P helped to some extent. Anyway, nothing super important -- just documenting all of this stuff while it's fresh
 
Day 109 -- MO'd a couple times yesterday and once today. Able to MO & it was better after the first time but erection strength is still pretty weak. I think part of it is I get in my head about it vs. staying in the moment but the other part is just that I need to heal further. As mentioned, starting no PMO again starting Fri (Day 110) for the hard 90 days until finishing Day 200.

Excited for the next big milestones which are 150 days / 180 days / 200 days
 
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Took another small step in the right direction today -- I just deleted my Snapchat. I realized I was looking at yet another girl clad in a skimpy outfit designed to get a bunch horny guys to stare at her picture to make money...and that was that. I don't use Snap that much but I always justified having it thinking 'oh I still keep in touch with people on there.' Well I took a look at it and realized it's only maybe 4 people I keep in touch with via Snap (and even then only maybe sending / seeing a snap every few weeks at most), and I keep in touch with all of them through other channels like messaging / meeting in person / FaceTime / calling. So I promptly told all of them I was deleted snapchat and to contact me through these other channels moving forward and deleted it. Never had an IG / TikTok (probably the worst offenders)

All I have left is the bare minimum: Facebook and LinkedIn. I think having at least the FB is good to have some online presence socially and LinkedIn helps a lot with careers. I'm never downloading another social media app ever again. Got ad blockers on my browsers and I also don't stream any movies / shows illegally anymore (which are notorious for the porn ads). All in all, can't control everything but I feel like I've set myself up in as healthy an environment as possible to continue my reboot. Even after the reboot, I just realized I don't want some massive company out there to program me into looking at girls I'll never get with & who honestly prey of lonely, addicted young men. I'm not even really blaming the women as I don't think they understand the damage they are enabling but the company for sure does (fuck Meta / Snapchat / TikTok / etc). And frankly I think most of those women are actually unfortunately doing a lot of damage to themselves from the vanity that creates & the knowledge that they have 100k DMs in their inbox so it makes it easier to just switch guys in a heartbeat....I'm not an expert on opining on happiness but I really do think true happiness when it comes to partners comes from having a committed, deep, meaningful, long-term relationship with 1 partner (vs. 100 one night stands). I believe even Wilt Chamberlain who famously slept with >20k women said that it wasn't worth it & that just having 1 really true LT relationship was far better

At some point either late this year / early next I'll re-download the dating apps because that's sort of a necessity for a young guy in his 20s these days (but I'll be extra careful, as much as one can be at least) but otherwise want to be in as healthy a headspace as possible.
 
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Day 110 - I had a bit of a derp moment. Realized why my erections were so weak when MO'ing; I'm in flatline. I can be kind of an idiot in noticing these things but for the entire past week & today my penis has been shriveled up. Had random urges so I thought 'I couldn't be in flatline' but then remember when I was in flatline a while back where I still had urges. This is where the mind and the penis are still NOT on the same page.

Just gotta wait this flatline out but I still firmly do believe the no MO (starting on Day 111-Day 200) for 90 days will accelerate my healing. Onwards my brothers!
 
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I wouldn't be too hard on yourself Firststep, we've ALL been there. One day at a time.

A shriveled up penis is just the stepping stone to a future phallic glory!

Best
Fosho man, honestly don't know how Gabe did it back in the day when there was no guidance on this, would be pretty freaky to see your penis shrivel up & constantly want to test. Good to know it's just a natural part of the process! Another win for the shriveled penis club haha
 
Well I finished taking that stupid test yesterday, just waiting a couple months for the results now. Pretty awesome though as now I can go hard full time on my goals. Concretely the biggest one I have is wanting to lose 20-25 pounds through the end of Nov. I figure that's 7-8lbs per month which is the upper limit for suggested weight loss so -- while hard -- is doable. Have some other goals as well but this is the one I'm most excited about & a huge part of becoming a new man!
 

Blondie

Respected Member
Nice job on that test First step!

Good luck on losing those pounds. I've been losing weight too over this last year and it feels great to be in the healthy BMI index again! Now I'm trying to get down to 15% body fat, which seems to be a harder endeavor :)

But whatever our body fat percentages or body weight is, let us remember one thing, fuck porn!

Best brother.
 
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