Damn I just got up and can't get back to sleep. I think it's because of the jet lag but could also be driven by reboot as a direct symptom. But I think it's actually an indirect symptom of anxiety that's bubbled up as before going to bed I spent 1.5hrs just reading about this on both Reboot National and YBOP. That's usually helpful but I'm realizing it isn't good right before bed. The last 1hr before bed should be spent doing something enjoyable / relaxing (read a book, watch some TV, play some music, etc). Gives the brain a chance to relax as otherwise it can bring other anxieties to the surface.
I'm going to be transparent here -- I'm not happy with the way my life is right now and not just with PIED. Here are the biggest reasons why:
Tier 1 Issues
1) Lack of females romantically / PIED -- have maybe 3 female friends now (vs. 0 maybe 3yrs ago), so actually happy for that. However, don't have a female romantically. This is one I'm working on right now with the reboot & planning on getting after in the fall. Doing my best here
2) My body / weight -- I know I can do better. There have been times where I've had 10-12% body fat, while today I'm in the high-teens %. I know I can put on more muscle mass because I've had more before (and I know I can bo beyond). Here I need to get way more aggressive. I'm being careful on my vacation not to go crazy (and doing a ton of walking anyway seeing the sights) but once I get back -- no more f*cking around. While I'm way better this year vs. last yr on food, I need to kick this thing up a notch on cutting calories on the diet. Also need to ramp up working out via cardio for some off days. Doing 3x weights and 2x light cardio, need to bump this up to 4x weights and all 3x moderate cardio. Just as I won't let P control my mind, I won't let food control my mind either
Tier 2 Issues
3) Lack of time for hobbies -- Have wanted to develop some hobbies for a while now, specifically in playing way more golf and learning the guitar. I'm planning on doing more golf this summer with friends but just no time for the guitar. Reason is after work I've got these major exams in my industry, but if I finish them off in Sept I'll be home free. I haven't put in enough time studying, post-vacation I need to push real hard, crush these exams, and free up all this time for more enjoyable things
4) Need More Local Friends -- I need to make way more local friends. Guess the half dozen I have are ok for now, but really need to broaden this. Trying to do this with work friends but I need to do way more via other activities. I want to have plenty of opportunities to meet people, get out of the house, and also organic touchpoint to meet girls. Progress feels decent, need to get better though
Bottom Line -- Guess it all fundamentally boils down to fact that I feel like I'm just not where I want to be. Trying Harder & Blondie had some great thoughts that everyone goes at their own pace -- totally agree. I need to shift my mindset here somewhat but I just feel like my pace suddenly slowed down vs everyone else (or more likely I never noticed that I stagnated on a lot of these things a while back). Guess identifying the issues is a big part as is the courage & plan to get after it. Putting it all down here to be super honest. Rebooting will help directly with 1 of my goals but there's lots more that I need to tackle. I will make it