Thanks T.H. Good analogy. She quotes me excepts from the betrayed spouse playbook written by the other betrayed spouses on her FB groups and that playbook seemingly reads, "You get in that bastard's ass, you stay in that bastard's ass, and don't EVER let up. Constantly remind him what a fuck up he is. Read off his list of crimes against you daily as if you were giving him a shopping list. If he defends himself at ALL, accuse him of gaslighting. Do not offer him ANY encouragement (aside from telling him how close you are to leaving him) because if you do he will revert back to porn usage immediately." Now, that is probably exaggerated to a degree, but it sure seems that way, and I've never heard of that particular tactic before. Nor do I agree with it's effectiveness. Yet she doesn't see what she does as bashing me, she sees it as "constructive criticism".That's like a cop saying a criminal doesn't have the right to a lawyer. Anybody who is trying to break an addiction needs help and support. You should ask for advice, that's why we're all here - to help each other with an addiction that is fought alone 99% of the time. Like Blondie says, two wrongs don't make a right. Shaming you to control you won't end well.
I know, I'm just some anonymous guy on a forum and we've never met and this is weird. Hope that you can continue your reboot, stay clean, and find what you're looking for.
ON THE OTHER HAND... I'm not just doing this just for her, I'm doing it for me as well. But she wont believe that, wont even entertain the idea. In her mind I am only doing this to placate her so she will stay. I WANT TO BE FREE. I want to heal. And I will not revert back, I don't give a good got damn what anyone says about me.
Sorry, had to purge. And. Shawna is a good woman. She just actually believes the method prescribed by her web mates IS the correct route.