Honoring the Ultimatum

Nearly 60 days. Amazing job. Do you feel your brain changing? Do you feel the neural pathways closing up? I think one can physically tell the difference to yourself. I found that truly inspiring. When you realise your brain can’t beat you, that feeling is SO powerful.

Keep going. Never give up.
Yes. I can tell a difference. But I still have a long way to go to be where I want to be. But I do feel empowered to a degree and I like it !!!
 

GBS

Active Member
You are empowered. That’s an amazing thing to hear. Your brain will have to play one hell of a trick to get you back.

Well done. Please don’t ever give up.
 
Day 67. Been very ill. Stomach Virus. Better today. Very dehydrated. But still porn free.

still a good day. i can remember fitting in PMO even though I was not feeling well/ill for whatever reason. looking back it is not only stupid but makes no sense - at a time i was not feeling well why would i waste mental and physical energy on sex/orgasm?

Sometimes when you stop and think about what PMO is like it just makes very little sense!
 

GBS

Active Member
Sorry you’re not well @The Tunesmith . @GrateClips makes a good observation. We get in such bad habits with porn, we’ll fill up any space of time whatever our physical state is. If I were to liken this to smoking, I used to find I got off the train going to work and reward myself with a cig in the same spot every day and then another one after I git off the tube. It’s crazy looking back on the smoking and crazier still looking back on the porn.

I haven’t given up smoking. That one just hurts me. My wife actually smokes too. I have made great strides in giving up porn. That one does hurt someone else. Massively. It’s so different and yet by cognitive distortion (I.e. I can twist the logic) I used to be able to justify it.

The more we stare the ludicrousness of this down, the more we’ll never go Back. Let’s never go back guys, never.
 
Day 74. Sorry I ain't been here in a week. Been ill, wound up in the ER with a a saline drip to rehydrate what the vomiting and screaming sh*tties took from my body. They even hit me with morphine, benedryl and composine so I went to lala land for about 16 hours. Fine now but three days ago I would have given $1,000.00 to pass a solid turd. Okay, enough grotesquery I suppose.... I must be an enigma. 74 days in and I still just don't have but the minutest urge to use. Skirts, nylon and heels still trigger, but it has been so easy to just say, "Get thee behind me" and move along with life. I don't. For those of you in that catagory, Bless you!! Is it my advanced age coupled with the fact that internet was not avaialble to me at a young age that makes my struggle less difficult, or am I truly an enigma? I guess it don't matter, this is working....
Persevere Brothers...
 
Day 74. Sorry I ain't been here in a week. Been ill, wound up in the ER with a a saline drip to rehydrate what the vomiting and screaming sh*tties took from my body. They even hit me with morphine, benedryl and composine so I went to lala land for about 16 hours. Fine now but three days ago I would have given $1,000.00 to pass a solid turd. Okay, enough grotesquery I suppose.... I must be an enigma. 74 days in and I still just don't have but the minutest urge to use. Skirts, nylon and heels still trigger, but it has been so easy to just say, "Get thee behind me" and move along with life. I don't. For those of you in that catagory, Bless you!! Is it my advanced age coupled with the fact that internet was not avaialble to me at a young age that makes my struggle less difficult, or am I truly an enigma? I guess it don't matter, this is working....
Persevere Brothers...

if you read the journals of the younger crowd they definitely attest to long periods of time with little desire, flatline and all sorts of feeling down or flat emotionally.
 
Day 90... Befuddled... I can't balance my expectations with her expectations. I think we both want to see more rapid change in each other and neither of us are satisfied with the rate of change that has (is) occurred (occurring). My thought process is still littered with crap I want gone, and I understand that takes time. But it is frustrating. And she feels I don't deserve to be frustrated, I AM NOT the victim, she is... She hates the fact that I raise my voice when I want a point to stick, but I can't help that. But every time I do jack the volume, she says she loses more respect for me. I'm gonna lose here...
 
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