Honoring the Ultimatum

Aeodh Dan

Aeodh Dan

Active Member
day 99 monk mode for me....
I don't envy you having to deal with the wife, mine left finally, which has been a huge boost to my recovery.
It's so nice to see her only occasionally...we don't fight anymore, we talk about our grown up children and their lives/families etc. and keep it civil
Monk mode is so much more doable in my opinion...I've tried the no porn/masturbation while living with her in the past and after 90 days went right back, because of the stress in the relationship.
My penis finally has a needed break, that poor thing! It seems so much healthier and happier now.
And the semen production factory? Shut down...must have went to China, I heard they need more kids there.
I have chronic back problems, age 52, it sucks, but I would rather live with a bad back than with porn addiction. Anyways, you may want to consider monk mode; you can still be physically intimate with your wife without a hard on. Sounds weird, but sex isn't all about fucking and cumming...
Good luck on your journey!
 
Phineas 808

Phineas 808

Moderator
Staff member
Moderator
Gongrats on the 90, Tuneshmith! I wish you could celebrate it (as you ought to) without these other (important) considerations. It's difficult to change at our age (?), but I'm willing to- but it doesn't always work out that way... :cautious:
 
The Tunesmith

The Tunesmith

Active Member
Aeodh Dan said:
day 99 monk mode for me....
I don't envy you having to deal with the wife, mine left finally, which has been a huge boost to my recovery.
It's so nice to see her only occasionally...we don't fight anymore, we talk about our grown up children and their lives/families etc. and keep it civil
Monk mode is so much more doable in my opinion...I've tried the no porn/masturbation while living with her in the past and after 90 days went right back, because of the stress in the relationship.
My penis finally has a needed break, that poor thing! It seems so much healthier and happier now.
And the semen production factory? Shut down...must have went to China, I heard they need more kids there.
I have chronic back problems, age 52, it sucks, but I would rather live with a bad back than with porn addiction. Anyways, you may want to consider monk mode; you can still be physically intimate with your wife without a hard on. Sounds weird, but sex isn't all about fucking and cumming...
Good luck on your journey!
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Duck butter factory moved to China.. LMAO !!! I too am disabled due to back/neck problems, so I feel you there Bro. And I agree, the back pain is easier to deal with than the PA and all the crap that ensues behind it. I do still have relations with my wife sans boner, I refer to it as climbing Brokedick Mountain. I can even still ejaculate, although sometimes I shoot dust.. I figure my boys don't swim anymore, tired little bastards just lay around the pool looking at the eggs and reminiscing about the days of virility past... LOL... I actually woke up with a SEMIpisshard the other day, scared the hell outta me because I ain't seen one of those since Trump was in office. And it hurt. But I was still glad to see it. Glad to hear you dealt with separation from your spousal unit so well. As much as I bitch about my lady fair, I really don't know what I would do without her.
 
joepanic

joepanic

Respected Member
Tunesmith you are one funny guy But I think that is needed here sometimes Yes you can certainly take care of your "lady fair" without the use of your trouser snake Use the less talk more action mode with your mouth. it certainly works with my wife and I have no issues with my snake. I think most of us spend out marriages trying to figure our wives out, Its funny mine was easy to figure out than we went and got married. And their is no manual to the married woman..

Cheers Hope she enjoys her present tonight

Post often it helps me it helps you
 
The Tunesmith

The Tunesmith

Active Member
Haven't posted in quite a while, sorry. Still porn free after 6 months. Wife and I are currently separated but it is probably not a permanent thing. But if it is then it is likely my "just deserts". Ironic. She DEMANDS conjugal visits to assure her I am not self abusing. So now I feel like a piece of meat, just like I made her feel for so many years. A year ago i likely would have enjoyed that feeling. Now that the proverbial "scales" have fallen from my eyes.... IT FUGGIN SUCKS !!! Had to fight off a severe bout of depression last night. Good news is, I was not tempted to use to alleviate the depression. No hair of the dog that bit me for this guy...... The fact that she "tests" me to assure herself I am not self abusing does tell me that she is still concerned about my beating (no pun) this thing, she still has hope. In fact, I can see differences in how she sees me. Positive differences. So. Whether we reconcile or not, good things are coming (again, no pun) from my decision to refrain from porn use.... I have started a new album (my forth). I am 5 songs into it. It's a sort of concept album about the pitfalls of addiction. If it isn't forbidden I may post a link to a tune or two on this forum. The video I am currently finishing up is called "None The Wiser" and is about the cause and effect of porn use. I write instrumental music exclusively (I sing like a rusty hinge and I don't work well with other musicians in my old age, LOL) so the video does the talking. Sorry this is getting so long (no pun) but it has been a long time (3 months) since I posted.
Cheers and
Perservere Brethren
 
The Tunesmith

The Tunesmith

Active Member
joepanic said:
Tunesmith you are one funny guy But I think that is needed here sometimes Yes you can certainly take care of your "lady fair" without the use of your trouser snake Use the less talk more action mode with your mouth. it certainly works with my wife and I have no issues with my snake. I think most of us spend out marriages trying to figure our wives out, Its funny mine was easy to figure out than we went and got married. And their is no manual to the married woman..

Cheers Hope she enjoys her present tonight

Post often it helps me it helps you
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I'm hip... I am the cunning linguistics champion of the tri-state area..... LOL
 
The Tunesmith

The Tunesmith

Active Member
******* NOTE: TRIGGER WARNING ********* Seven months free of the bondage of porn and all it's vulgar trimmings... I don't check in as often as I should. I will start to do so much more often, since I think I am at the point I can actually help some of the newer guys, and older guys, and any other guys I may have omitted, as you guys continue to help me. Even though I'm 7 months to the good, it's still a fight, and having bros to lean on helps one keep fighting, so thanks... OK... Now to the trigger part. The video I am about to post should only be viewed by those who are stout enough to NOT respond to triggers. The triggers contained herein are BRIEF, fleeting, and pretty mild, but, they are necessary to convey the message contained in the vid. But if you are not certain, WALK AWAY.... As you may have noticed my handle indicates that I compose music. I also construct videos to accompany my tunes. This creation is a demonstration of information I have gathered during the 7 months I been porn free.... If you find this video useful feel free to share it with others, just be sure they are mature enough in the recovery process to handle it. Anyway....



Persevere Brethren


P.S... The video reveals my real name, but, at this point, that isn't an issue for me anymore...
 
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The Tunesmith

The Tunesmith

Active Member
Hi... 7 months and counting free from the beast. Hope those of you who watched my video (posted above) dug it, and found it useful and informative.... It struck me last night that some of us might be offended by the "you're causing this to happen" theme of the video. To be frank with you, I was offended when these points were first told to me. But the truth is the truth, and facing it is a big BIG part of recovery (for me anyway, I assume for everybody). Hearing the truth about how our little dalliance with the "industry" affects society, and especially the female members of it as a whole is a shock (or was to me) when I first became truly aware of all the evils aside from just lust and infidelity the industry produces. The video presents facts that I either weren't aware of, or more so was unwilling to accept as reality, as that would be a buzzkill when it came time to fire up the computer and flog the ol' dolphin. Porn injures a multitude of women, not just our wives, but millions of women who are abused daily to provide jack-off fodder for us to oogle while we squeeze off a round or two. So... If the realization of the facts presented in my music video are offensive to you... GOOD... They by-god should be. For offensive they truly are. I go to bed each night now thinking of all the pain and suffering my addiction has caused, ON A WORLDWIDE SCALE... world...fkin...wide. Not just me, my wife, and our family, but victims of trafficking everywhere. May God forgive us all... Sorry, but this is a little tough love. Take it as such and use it as motivation to......
Persevere Brethren
 
S

Sammyjo

Active Member
The Tunesmith said:
******* NOTE: TRIGGER WARNING ********* Seven months free of the bondage of porn and all it's vulgar trimmings... I don't check in as often as I should. I will start to do so much more often, since I think I am at the point I can actually help some of the newer guys, and older guys, and any other guys I may have omitted, as you guys continue to help me. Even though I'm 7 months to the good, it's still a fight, and having bros to lean on helps one keep fighting, so thanks... OK... Now to the trigger part. The video I am about to post should only be viewed by those who are stout enough to NOT respond to triggers. The triggers contained herein are BRIEF, fleeting, and pretty mild, but, they are necessary to convey the message contained in the vid. But if you are not certain, WALK AWAY.... As you may have noticed my handle indicates that I compose music. I also construct videos to accompany my tunes. This creation is a demonstration of information I have gathered during the 7 months I been porn free.... If you find this video useful feel free to share it with others, just be sure they are mature enough in the recovery process to handle it. Anyway....



Persevere Brethren


P.S... The video reveals my real name, but, at this point, that isn't an issue for me anymore...
Click to expand...
Wow! That was...hard to watch, and amazing at the same time. Impactful.
 
The Tunesmith

The Tunesmith

Active Member
Sammyjo said:
Wow! That was...hard to watch, and amazing at the same time. Impactful.
Click to expand...
Thank you so much Sammyjo. Hell, I still find it hard to watch and I spent hours upon hours upon hours assembling the research and the graphics. So... It accomplished what I intended.. Thanks again.
 
H

homerun

Member
The Tunesmith said:
Thank you so much Sammyjo. Hell, I still find it hard to watch and I spent hours upon hours upon hours assembling the research and the graphics. So... It accomplished what I intended.. Thanks again.
Click to expand...
I am blown away by this video - I found it extremely hard to watch - in the short term I feel disgusted with myself that I was supporting this industry and just feel crappy. I do believe in the long term this will help with avoiding relapse.
 
The Tunesmith

The Tunesmith

Active Member
homerun said:
I am blown away by this video - I found it extremely hard to watch - in the short term I feel disgusted with myself that I was supporting this industry and just feel crappy. I do believe in the long term this will help with avoiding relapse.
Click to expand...
Thanks Homerun. My goal was to put it in perspective.. I hope it helps. Remember the "crappy" feeling it induced, always, but then realize you are beyond it, for you, too, like all of us here, were also a victim of p, now fighting the good fight...
 
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The Tunesmith

The Tunesmith

Active Member
Steve. Junkie. 7 months plus porn free. 6:19 AM. Woke early (my sleep patterns are weird). My wife paid me a super compliment yesterday. Made my day/week/month. My wife is "on the spectrum" or as old schoolers put it, she has Asperger Syndrome. It is difficult for spectrumites to compliment anyone for anything. It is INCREDIBLY difficult for a spectrumite to compliment someone who did so much emotional damage to them. So, when I opened my FB messenger and saw the message she sent me I physically warmed from my toes up. I don't want to let this woman down. That's why I 'Honor the Ultimatum". She is absolutely wonderful. Perfect? Of course not. Human, like the rest of us. But I feel that to rise to this situation and be able to provide constructive contributions to my efforts to reform after all the emotional hurt she endured at my hand is beyond commendable.
Persevere Brethren
 
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The Tunesmith

The Tunesmith

Active Member
*******************************************TRIGGER WARNING******************************************
Okay, you guys responded positively to "None the Wiser", my music video which exposes the evil's of porn consumption that we don't see or take into consideration. So... None the Wiser is the 2nd song on my concept album "The Judas Hole", the concept being how porn or any sex addiction for that matter, affects our world, that of our spouse/significant other, and society as a whole. Where None the Wiser is an generalized expose of the various levels of damage P use can have, The first song on the Album (see below) The title track, is a loose chronical of my journey thus far in the recovery process, including how the journey has affected my spouse. It has moments which may trigger, so, if you are not strong enough yet, don't watch this video. I certainly don't want to be responsible for a relapse... Without further adieu, here's "The Judas Hole.

Persevere Brethren

P.S... ADMINS. If you feel this video is too rough, has to much trigger material, or is over the line in any way, I will not be at all offended if you see fit to remove it. I just thought it might be useful to those who are traveling the same path I am right now. But I don't want to damage anyone any further either.
 
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The Tunesmith

The Tunesmith

Active Member
Afternoon guys. Just woke from a nap. The wife had messaged me some excerpts from a thread on the betrayed spouse group she frequents about a woman who caught her husband using again and the fallout associated with. I know my wife lives in fear that I too, will relapse, otherwise she would not keep sending me these horror stories. And... Feeling that way is justifiable. She will most likely feel that way for as long as we are together. And it's my fault. But, I will not allow that to discourage me. I have learned to take all the little reminders of how she feels as just that. And as a result my resolve is strengthened, I don't want her to ever have to deal with that again...
Persevere Brethren
 
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