Quitting porn and camgirls once and for all

SkyesLeo

New Member
Good evening all,

I wanted a place to really express how I feel and oddly enough, I stumbled upon this forum. So I'd like to express my experience with porn that has recently transcended into Cam girls.

Rewind back into the start of the Pandemic - this is when my porn use truly began. I'd used it before, but never as much as I did recently. I had a girlfriend in 2020, before the pandemic, and unfortunately it didn't work out. Me and her were on again off again until mid 2021, so during the off periods I would jack off to porn. I started collecting and learning names of various pornstars I enjoyed - [names removed] were my favorites, they were thick in all the ways I liked.

Recently, I decided to give up porn once and for all. And, happy to report, I did! But... I found a new place to turn. Camsites. I'd always wondered about them, so I started with [site name removed]. Trash site - most of the women on it are rude and just ask you for money. I then signed up for [site name removed] and, the girls were way better.

They were kind, and sweet. But what I didn't seem to realize is... this wasn't a place to find a woman. This wasn't a place to flirt or try to be a romantic, like I naturally am. These are business transactions. You are paying women money to be nice to you, to shake their ass for you, for them to tell you what they "Want you to do to them." It's all an act. This is business. I realized this in a conversation I had with a lady who I told that... yes it sounds pathetic, but I did it... that I would get lost in her eyes if she looked at me. She then gave me a reality check that I needed - she told me "be careful not to fall in love, I like it when you're sexual. Things have gotten very flirtatious."

And it made me realize two things - 1. My type is definitely Latinas lol. I am a black man. I am very interested in them, and not in a way where I would fetishize them or shut down women of other races, no. It's just my type, we all have them and that's okay. I've always been afraid to admit it because I feared I was being racist or fetishizing, but in reality I've went to schools with high latin populations all my life and have always been interested in women of the latin/Hispanic race. It's just, me. Truly me.

2. This is not the place to try to seek female attention, validation, a quick fix, or any of that. This is all business. I'm bolding this in case you are in the same boat as me, you are paying them, or watching them, as a business transaction. This is business. Not Tinder. Not The Club. Not your local kickball league. Not a friend's party. Not a friend's wedding, all places where you can meet decent girls who would go on dates with you and want to get to know you. It is a business. You are paying these women to do things for you, to talk to you. If you are truly looking for a partner, like me, this is definitely not the place. And it may sound obvious, but I am in a lonely position. I haven't had a gf in two years and for most of my life female validation was important to me. Today is the day that I take steps to move out of that, and will be talking to my counselor about this recent spell.

A lot of the women were truly kind. They called me by name, knew that I loved big asses and would slap and shake them for me because I would pay. This has gone on for only two weekends, but that two was enough. I've spent a few hundred dollars already, and this is my stopping point. This is the beginning of my journey away from seeking female validation too much, as I have most of my life. I was bullied and didn't have a girlfriend until I was in high school and lost 150+ pounds. Then, suddenly, I was getting gfs left and right. I was having sex. Up until pre-pandemic, I was regularly bedding different women.

But then, the pandemic struck. I was lonely, I grew up an only child whose parents barely paid attention and with the help of my counselor I was able to figure these things out about myself. But it's time to gain my independence back.

Thank you for allowing me a place to say all these things and for everyone on this site, I wish you all the best of luck. Just remember, you got this.
 

TryingHarder

Well-Known Member
As I wrote on another thread:

The world of porn is a seductive one. It's a weird fantasy world where you're in charge, nobody will say no, and you will always get your way and have a good time. It's disturbing how you develop a "relationship" with your favourite girls. You collect their photos and videos. You imagine conversations with them. But ultimately, you're just a very disturbed guy who's fapping in front of his computer. These girls aren't real. They're not your friends. They're cogs in a gigantic, awful machine: the porn industry.

I never got into cam girls, but you're completely correct, SykesLeo. This is all business. Any validation you might feel isn't real. Any relationship you think you might have isn't real.
 
Top