Did I relapse?

Hi everybody,

so I’m new here but not new to the reboot. I’m 26 days free of porn and I don’t crave it. But I do crave real sex. Today I edged to the thought of having sex with this girl I like, I stopped myself before I came mostly because I didn’t want to lose what I had going. Does this count as a relapse?.
 

Blondie

Respected Member
I would say no, it wasn't porn. Since you were thinking about someone you actually like it's not the same thing. However, I would encouraging you not to engage in that too much, because it could make slip.

Best.
 
Unfortunately I did slip. We FaceTimed at night and we masturbated together. It was so hot. But now I feel ashamed because I had a good streak going. Well time to start again. This time I know what to do and to be prepared for so I feel like this time will be very very good.
 

GBS

Active Member
Just repeating what @Blondie said. I think you’re ok, but edging is discouraged not only because you could be teasing yourself and we’re playing with fire here….don’t deny it. Also, and this is just what I read the hard core (no masturbation at all) reboot if you want absolutely all the benefits should include no edging whatsoever.
 
Just repeating what @Blondie said. I think you’re ok, but edging is discouraged not only because you could be teasing yourself and we’re playing with fire here….don’t deny it. Also, and this is just what I read the hard core (no masturbation at all) reboot if you want absolutely all the benefits should include no edging whatsoever.
I went hard core reboot for the 27 days, until tonight when I FaceTimed the girl I like and we masturbated together. I did see some real good benefits in the short time. My erections were a little harder and lasted a lot longer. I still had problems with premature ejaculation but that will develop later. I’m just so frustrated because I wasn’t really tempted until the girl I liked wanted to do this. Now I have to reset.
 

W4tchmak3r

Member
Hey dude,
Aren't you rebooting so that you can invest in your sex life with real women? Sure facetime is a virtual environment, but that kinda thing (imo) is a real experience with a real person...
But that being said I can see how it blurs the line for you given that you wanted to go 'hardcore' and technically MO/edging is involved. Does hardcore also mean no real sex or experiences with other people? Not sure what it means to you, but I would think a large goal for most people would be to develop/reinvest in their real sex life. So don't stress about 'resetting' and carry on, and maybe pursuit some in-person experiences with this girl!

Peace
 
Hey dude,
Aren't you rebooting so that you can invest in your sex life with real women? Sure facetime is a virtual environment, but that kinda thing (imo) is a real experience with a real person...
But that being said I can see how it blurs the line for you given that you wanted to go 'hardcore' and technically MO/edging is involved. Does hardcore also mean no real sex or experiences with other people? Not sure what it means to you, but I would think a large goal for most people would be to develop/reinvest in their real sex life. So don't stress about 'resetting' and carry on, and maybe pursuit some in-person experiences with this girl!

Peace
So are you saying don’t reset my counter?. I’ve been pretty good at hard mode. I have no desire for porn anymore, it’s all about real sex for me. Unfortunately I can’t with her right now because she is at college, and then she is going on vacation. But we plan to when she gets back. But before this I wouldn’t touch my dick at all. This was the first time I’ve done it in 27 days. I’m just not sure because it was with s real girl that I do really like so I could see why I don’t have to “reset” but at the same time it was still over the phone so just not sure. But now I’m definitely going back to hard mode.
 

W4tchmak3r

Member
Don’t reset just keep going bro :)) the whole thing sounded fun anyway so just be thankful for it and look forward to how good the full experience is gonna be when you’re P free 😄
 

Blondie

Respected Member
I think you're good man. (y) It was with your girl so I wouldn't worry about it at all. It wasn't a cam girl, it wasn't paid for, or anything like that, so you're good. Porn is the problem, not facetime with your girl you're going to get with soon.

Carry on and keep killing it!

Best.
 
Thanks for all the replies and advice. Unfortunately it led me to watch porn. I only watched it for a couple seconds since before I was already masturbating I just needed something to help me finish. But still I’m resetting porn is porn even if it was for a couple seconds. There were much more things that happened in my reboot and I just wanna start a clean hard mode reboot.
 

Blondie

Respected Member
I think that's best Jacksonm37.

Tomorrow is a new day. Keep it up.

And good job being honest here and especially with yourself. This is probably the most important thing you can do on this journey.
 
Thank you. I really wanna beat this so I don’t want to take any short cuts. I do have a question. Do you have any advice on how to distant mind from thinking about sex?. I workout and play sports but even then I’m thinking about it most of the time. The only time I don’t think about it is when I meditate or I’m working. But I can’t do both all day long. I know daydreaming about it isn’t really the best. So I’m not quite sure how to make myself stop thinking about it as frequently.
 

Blondie

Respected Member
Do you have any advice on how to distant mind from thinking about sex?. I workout and play sports but even then I’m thinking about it most of the time.
Good question. It took me forever to figure this out. Funny enough you did kind of figure it without thinking about it! It's very hard to not NOT think about something. But as you found, working out, playing sports seems to help. So when you find yourself thinking about sex, try to just switch your thoughts to something else. I don't know what that would be for you, but for me, I start thinking about me goals, things I'm trying to accomplish, the meaning of life, etc. This way I keep my mind busy.

This isn't an issue of sexual thoughts are bad, because they're not; it's just a matter of you being in charge of your thoughts and not the other way around!

I hope that helps.

Cheers.
 
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Fappy

Respected Member
not a relapse. you didnt conciously seek out porn for the purpose of wanking to, their was no intent to PMO.
 
not a relapse. you didnt conciously seek out porn for the purpose of wanking to, their was no intent to PMO.
I was masturbating to thoughts at first but then I watched porn to finish. Porn is porn even if I watched for only a couple seconds. Also I wanted to start with a fresh hard mode reboot. I had too many things happen in my first try.
 
Good question. It took me forever to figure this out. Funny enough you did kind of figure it without thinking about it! It's very hard to not NOT think about something. But as you found, working out, playing sports seems to help. So when you find yourself thinking about sex, try to just switch your thoughts to something else. I don't know what that would be for you, but for me, I start thinking about me goals, things I'm trying to accomplish, the meaning of life, etc. This way I keep my mind busy.

This isn't an issue of sexual thoughts are bad, because they're not; it's just a matter of you being in charge of your thoughts and not the other way around!

I hope that helps.

Cheers.
Mainly I just try to distract myself which I should do. But what you mentioned is really helpful. Thinking of my goal and what I want to accomplish and get back ( mainly healthy sex life) will definitely help me to stop thinking about it. I read in multiple places that it’s bad to daydream about sex. Is that true?. Will it be helpful if I think about sex with a real girl?. Or does it only hurt and slow my reboot if I daydream about porn?.
 

Blondie

Respected Member
Thinking about sex with a real girl and fantasizing about her is definitely different and better than fantasizing about porn. One is good and natural, and the other is not. However, since you're just starting your journey getting off this nonsense, I would suggest you try not to focus on either at the moment. I say this because porn really blurs the lines in our minds about everything, and focusing on a real situation could lead to more relapses.

I say all that to say, none of this is a moral thing, it is just a matter of what is best at the moment. Obviously real is considerably better than porn, but just be careful and listen to how you feel. For example, is this thought or thinking making you refrain from looking at porn any easier or not?

Best
 
That’s what killed me. Fantasizing about sex with a real girl made me finish with porn. You’re definitely right better to just let all my thought go and distract me rather than potentially ruining my reboot again. I did have a wet dream last night so I think that’s a pretty good sign.
 

Artemus

Active Member
Unfortunately I did slip. We FaceTimed at night and we masturbated together. It was so hot. But now I feel ashamed because I had a good streak going. Well time to start again. This time I know what to do and to be prepared for so I feel like this time will be very very good.
Best advice I ever received was if you have doubts about what your doing/done then you shouldn't be doing it. Obviously since you are questioning your actions, then deep down you know that Facetime mutual MO is in effect a "P-sub" and should not be done if you are serious about rebooting. I'm not downing on you or judging you, but self stimulation to a digital image of someone you know is really just making her your personal porn star. She wasnt in the room, she wasnt touching you and you werent touching her. Do yourself a favor, IMHO you need to start over. No Porn, No P-subs, No masturbation, No edging, Nothing that stimulates your brain sexually, IF you want your future sex life to be the best it can, do the HARD-90. Learn the science, not what some other bro who is on here cheating his way along too is telling you. Take control of your mind and body TODAY and your life will change. The goal is to cleanse your physical brain of excess chemicals related to sex and to re-train your mind to seek other habits when stressed. If you keep giving it more blasts of sexual chemicals it will never fully heal and you'll just keep limping along.(pun intended) Don't focus so much on the number, take it day by day and build new healthy habits and you'll turn around and be done. Even if you do the 90, but go back to your old habits, you'll be right back in the same boat, wondering why your best friend no longer responds...
 
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