Morale

Hi all, I'm doing reasonably okay when it comes to fighting the addiction to P, P-subs, online chat (worst of all?) and that kind of thing.

Though to be honest I logged into a chat site again. Why is it so hard to log out again? Oh well, I'll do it as soon as I post this message.

More soon.
 
So this morning I gave in to urges to chat, so I logged in to the usual problematic chat room. Actually all chat rooms are a problem for me. It would be nice if one day I would be cured of my addiction to chat, but that hasn't happened yet.

Anyway I've talked about this problem a hell of a lot over the years, so why go on about it even more? Lol. But I should probably post here more often for various reasons.

I wasted a lot of time in the chat room and it was useless, as it often is, so I don't have much time right now. Onwards.
 
I changed the name of the journal because I think "morale" is a good thing to keep in mind when it comes to addiction and for that matter pretty much everything else in our lives.


"Porn and online chat addiction rose from the ashes of the nuclear fire. Their war to exterminate mankind has raged for decades, but the final battle would not be fought in the future. It would be fought here, in our present. Tonight."
 
So yeah I went back to the chat room last night. Didn't do anything bad there really, but being there in any way is feeding the addiction. Plus there are always images there that could be considered P or P-subs.

What could have prevented me going there? Not having my computer on late at night, for one thing.
 
Another reset happened on Sunday but I've been clean since.

Taking action on life stressors big and small, but didn't sleep well last night so I'm low on energy now.
 
"Peeked" at a chat room to see if the person I talked to last weekend was there. No. Plus we decided we have different needs anyway.

Maybe I'll keep my streak (if it's worth counting days and all that) but any more peeking is a reset. Also if I chat I have to waste a bit of money on something stupid.
 
Did enough to constitute a reset I think. Bit of a hangover from last weekend in that sense. Or chaser effect to be more precise.

Okay. Got some awkward feelings going on about a couple of things. Must be contributing. Let's face those issues..
 
Yesterday was Day Zero, today is Day One.

Yesterday I was dealing with a combination of high libido and having a lot of things to do, none of which were very exciting. I also wanted to make progress on things like hobbies and, let's say, self-help.

Libido isn't so high today, but the other issues apply. Let's tackle a couple of things I don't want to do now!
 
We've all been there. But we have to get up again. Don't give up. We need this!

I've never really given up fighting the addiction, as in I never had a reset and then just stopped trying for any significant length of time.

Lately I've been resetting around the seven-day mark. According to some, this could be a sign that I'm relying too much on willpower. I do tend to get rationalisations around this time, that it's okay to peek at a chat room and that kind of thing. I guess something I'm missing is "community". I don't want to be someone who sacrifices their values and opinions in order to fit in with some community. But I do need a bit more community than I currently have.

Life got extremely crazy in the last couple of weeks. And before that I was dreading what would happen in those weeks. Well at least it's over now. Time for renewal. I've already done a good thing or two since the reset, let's keep going, keep improving.
 

tl23

Member
I've never really given up fighting the addiction, as in I never had a reset and then just stopped trying for any significant length of time.

Lately I've been resetting around the seven-day mark. According to some, this could be a sign that I'm relying too much on willpower. I do tend to get rationalisations around this time, that it's okay to peek at a chat room and that kind of thing. I guess something I'm missing is "community". I don't want to be someone who sacrifices their values and opinions in order to fit in with some community. But I do need a bit more community than I currently have.

Life got extremely crazy in the last couple of weeks. And before that I was dreading what would happen in those weeks. Well at least it's over now. Time for renewal. I've already done a good thing or two since the reset, let's keep going, keep improving.
I really really resonated with this post. I used to turn to chat rooms all the time, they were my weakness and I think at its core it was the community, the connection, and the feeling of being “seen.”

I’ve been 70+ days free of that now and it’s not easy but I’ve tried to be okay with sometimes not being okay. It sounds trite or cliche, but sitting with your feelings sometimes in a raw way is hard work but important work to figure out what you’re missing.

When I realized I was missing connection/community I tried adjusting some habits to see more people at work. I also joined a volleyball league here in town.

I know this reply is about me but, I can really empathize with you so, more than anything, hope you know you have this community, too. I’ve been finding it helpful to come on here and chat on others posts when I’m feeling that urge.

best of luck!
 
Thanks for the replies. Had another reset unfortunately..

Life has been pretty crazy. On the plus side I spent time in nature last weekend and it was great. Also I've joined a small online community which might help with some of my issues. Or not, we'll see lol.

More soon I hope. I'd rather not be too negative about resets, just learn from them and move on.
 
I'm planning to post more often, every day if possible, even if it's just a few words.

Anyway I had a chaser, you could say. It was an unusual reset and very reminiscent of my addiction about twenty years ago, before I had easy, private access to high-speed Internet P and chat.

So now it's time to get serious.
 
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