Morale

Not too bad a day today, and not many urges. Felt a bit tired though, even though I slept well. Maybe it's because I didn't sleep the previous night, due to the addiction! On that note, a bit of history. It was about six years ago when I first joined a forum like this one. I had experienced PIED, but in a way it wasn't a major issue because I spend most of time single. And also I wasn't sure if the PIED was a result of P and chat etc. (it was).

(Talk of erections ahead)

So nowadays, even though lately I've been resetting to chat or p-subs, I get erections extremely easily. The simple act of going for a pee often ends up with me having an erection afterwards. I sometimes think I should try and get in the habit of sitting to pee. I say this partly to give hope to guys with PIED who may be reading this, but also it's relevant to my journal as getting erections can be a bit triggering in itself.
 
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It was an unusual reset and very reminiscent of my addiction about twenty years ago, before I had easy, private access to high-speed Internet P and chat.

I had another of those today on Day 6. So bad news - I'm not meeting my goal of getting a proper, longer (hard mode) streak in. But good news - I didn't use chat or P, or an internet P-sub. It wasn't a video-based P-sub either, and I didn't seek it out. The world is full of P-subs though, and we're all "alcoholics at the bar" with this addiction. In fact we're alcoholics at the bar and a lot of people are offering us free drinks lol.

Other good news - I'm doing well at eliminating something from my diet which is basically unhealthy, especially in the quantities I've been consuming it in recent years. Last week I stocked up on a couple of much healthier alternatives and I've been having those instead. It was a lot easier than I thought, or at least it is so far.
 
Motivation for a lot of things has been low this week. I can "pat myself on the back" for resisting an urge earlier - by doing something else instead. Also yesterday I bought a present for someone and did it nice and early instead of waiting until the last minute. And just getting the basics done despite low motivation.
 
Still clean. Moods have been up and down somewhat, but that's life with me really, I don't think any amount of abstinence would somehow fix that, although abstinence has done great things for me too.

Monday morning here. Let's start the week well!
 
A while since my last message. I'm still working at recovery however.

Yesterday I was pretty motivated in general, although I did have some mood issues at one point.

Today I had no motivation and yes, I reset thanks to my chat addiction. Onwards.
 
Hello again.

I'm generally doing well as regards the addiction at the moment. Not sure exactly what day I'm on and I don't really want to know.

Some temptation tonight because of tiredness, mainly. This is due to insufficient sleep. I'll have to prioritise getting more sleep and I can think of a couple of ideas to help with that.
 
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