SmokenMirrors
Well-Known Member
Finally found your thread! Congrats on your exam! Keep up the good fight bro!
Labor omnia vincit
- Thread starter ADFECTATIO
- Start date
ADFECTATIO
Active Member
Hei guys!
It's time for an update.
After the exam a friend and I went out to eat pizza with 2 guys that were in our exam group. We had an awesome time - went partying in the evening and one of the 2 guys seems to get a good friend now. Because in the days after that, we 3 went hiking, went out more in the evenings and also had often lunch at the canteen together.
I am so happy to have a manly friendgroup built up!
The last days my brother visited me and we were very active, so I didn't do any journaling and ah all the going out let me to think about girls more often - I didn't stop my thoughts and so yesterday, after my brother left, I had a relapse followed by a YT Session. It's my old me that misses these days. It felt like an hommage to the old depressed days. I don't like these days, but letting them go completely feels so strange - like these days have been my life for so long. I don't know, it must sound super weird, but maybe some of you get what I mean.
So yesterday I was doing bad - reseted my streak already. Whatever. I don't beat myself up about this. Started this morning great, had awesome news regarding the exam. Although more than 35 % didn't pass the exam I managed to score a good grade - let out a scream of happiness!
Now the preparation for the next exam starts. I will write two at the end of august - we don't have lectures during summer, so I can build an awesome routine starting now till September. Roughly my days / weeks will look like this:
Morning starts with journaling followed by a workout every 2nd day - than starting studying at 8 or 9 - I need to figure this out, because morning excercise is new to me, but because of the heat I can't workout in the afternoon. My workout room is under the roof with no isolation - so we are talking more than 40 °C in the afternoon
During studying I track my focused hours, so only the hours I sit focused and learn, I don't count the breaks. A good day without courses / lectures is 6 h focused time. That's what I will be aiming for. I plan to set a definite end of the workday at 18:00. After that I have free time.
With 6 workdays a week this gives me 36 focused hours per week. Good.
At the moment I read "Getting things done" and I am hoping to optimize my study system.
In sum: My progress is huge! Since summer of 2020 I have a life mission - I know exactly my goals for the next 15 years. I am aligning everything in my life to follow this purpose. Because I know where I want to go, I can use the time during basic Uni training to prepare for this course!
I am a bit hesitant to write my exact purpose here, because I want to stay anonymous - and it is really specific. But to give a hint: I chose a career I wanted to do since I was growing up - but I gave up this dream after school, because my grades were not good enough to get into this field. So I studied sth else, went to work in this field - and never felt like fulfilling my purpose. In summer of 2020 I was at my lowest and thought about "what would make me feeld good / proud of myself - why am I here on this planet?" sounds clichee, whatever. My purpose puts not only meaning and a guideline to what courses I will focus on at uni but also on the stuff I do at my freetime.
The reboot seems like a small step on this way, but the basics are super important! I just want to get over this BS. Hm - so not focusing on the reboot at all is not a good idea, but focusing to much and waiting for my life to get better is also really stupid. So I keep going on my journey, keep my journaling and digital minimalism up and will write regulary in this forum.
I wish you all so much love!
It's time for an update.
After the exam a friend and I went out to eat pizza with 2 guys that were in our exam group. We had an awesome time - went partying in the evening and one of the 2 guys seems to get a good friend now. Because in the days after that, we 3 went hiking, went out more in the evenings and also had often lunch at the canteen together.
I am so happy to have a manly friendgroup built up!
The last days my brother visited me and we were very active, so I didn't do any journaling and ah all the going out let me to think about girls more often - I didn't stop my thoughts and so yesterday, after my brother left, I had a relapse followed by a YT Session. It's my old me that misses these days. It felt like an hommage to the old depressed days. I don't like these days, but letting them go completely feels so strange - like these days have been my life for so long. I don't know, it must sound super weird, but maybe some of you get what I mean.
So yesterday I was doing bad - reseted my streak already. Whatever. I don't beat myself up about this. Started this morning great, had awesome news regarding the exam. Although more than 35 % didn't pass the exam I managed to score a good grade - let out a scream of happiness!
Now the preparation for the next exam starts. I will write two at the end of august - we don't have lectures during summer, so I can build an awesome routine starting now till September. Roughly my days / weeks will look like this:
Morning starts with journaling followed by a workout every 2nd day - than starting studying at 8 or 9 - I need to figure this out, because morning excercise is new to me, but because of the heat I can't workout in the afternoon. My workout room is under the roof with no isolation - so we are talking more than 40 °C in the afternoon
During studying I track my focused hours, so only the hours I sit focused and learn, I don't count the breaks. A good day without courses / lectures is 6 h focused time. That's what I will be aiming for. I plan to set a definite end of the workday at 18:00. After that I have free time.
With 6 workdays a week this gives me 36 focused hours per week. Good.
At the moment I read "Getting things done" and I am hoping to optimize my study system.
In sum: My progress is huge! Since summer of 2020 I have a life mission - I know exactly my goals for the next 15 years. I am aligning everything in my life to follow this purpose. Because I know where I want to go, I can use the time during basic Uni training to prepare for this course!
I am a bit hesitant to write my exact purpose here, because I want to stay anonymous - and it is really specific. But to give a hint: I chose a career I wanted to do since I was growing up - but I gave up this dream after school, because my grades were not good enough to get into this field. So I studied sth else, went to work in this field - and never felt like fulfilling my purpose. In summer of 2020 I was at my lowest and thought about "what would make me feeld good / proud of myself - why am I here on this planet?" sounds clichee, whatever. My purpose puts not only meaning and a guideline to what courses I will focus on at uni but also on the stuff I do at my freetime.
The reboot seems like a small step on this way, but the basics are super important! I just want to get over this BS. Hm - so not focusing on the reboot at all is not a good idea, but focusing to much and waiting for my life to get better is also really stupid. So I keep going on my journey, keep my journaling and digital minimalism up and will write regulary in this forum.
I wish you all so much love!
ADFECTATIO
Active Member
Sooo... well. I could have had an awesome day yesterday.
I went climbing in the mountains with my friends and we also saw two Capricons like 10 m away from us. They just stood there, totally relaxed and ate their grass.
But I came home super exhausted and watched a documentary on YT while I was eating. This was okay, because I was related to my studies and I wanted to watch it. But I lost focus and let me pull into YT. I was awake til very very late at night, one thing let to another and I had 2 relapses.
Today I have a headache and had a bad night of sleep...
I went climbing in the mountains with my friends and we also saw two Capricons like 10 m away from us. They just stood there, totally relaxed and ate their grass.
But I came home super exhausted and watched a documentary on YT while I was eating. This was okay, because I was related to my studies and I wanted to watch it. But I lost focus and let me pull into YT. I was awake til very very late at night, one thing let to another and I had 2 relapses.
Today I have a headache and had a bad night of sleep...
ADFECTATIO
Active Member
Yesterday was a better day.
I slept quite long, then lost an hour to IG but got my ass up and went to the canteen.
There I met a few fellow students, it was great to have some social interaction.
After that I went home and cleaned my flat. I did a very great job and liked the result.
Then I organized some stuff that have been long on my to do list.
In the evening I was at a friends house for burgers and card games.
Today I got up at 6 o'clock and started my day with journaling and visualization. This feels so much better than the "hang loose" life.
Got down 1 day clean again!
I slept quite long, then lost an hour to IG but got my ass up and went to the canteen.
There I met a few fellow students, it was great to have some social interaction.
After that I went home and cleaned my flat. I did a very great job and liked the result.
Then I organized some stuff that have been long on my to do list.
In the evening I was at a friends house for burgers and card games.
Today I got up at 6 o'clock and started my day with journaling and visualization. This feels so much better than the "hang loose" life.
Got down 1 day clean again!
SmokenMirrors
Well-Known Member
Use this setback as motivation not to slip up again bro! You've got this!
ADFECTATIO
Active Member
Yes thank you very much Smoken!
I am struggling at the moment - I had a good they, then I let myself fall into a YT hole again... I want to report more positive things again. So I am looking forward for that! Oh damn! This journey never gets boring!
Managed 3 Days clean again, but depleted my dopamine with the YT yesterday.
Whatever - will try to make today count. One step after another. And this journes is still really awesome!
I am struggling at the moment - I had a good they, then I let myself fall into a YT hole again... I want to report more positive things again. So I am looking forward for that!
Oh damn! This journey never gets boring!Managed 3 Days clean again, but depleted my dopamine with the YT yesterday.
Whatever - will try to make today count. One step after another. And this journes is still really awesome!
ADFECTATIO
Active Member
Slowly I am getting back on the horse.
Days no PMO: 4
Day no MO: 0
Days Digital Minimalism: 0
What did I do yesterday to better myself?
It's great that I have a bit more freetime at the moment!
Today I got up at 5:59 h I wanted to get up before 6 o'clock - so it's a win, ha? No matter how bad I feel - I must try to be optimistic and have fun with the pain - then it's a much better perspective!
I wrote down the goals for today and will be satisfied when I manage the following:
The journaling should not be a hustle - Sometimes it's very hard for me to just sit down and journal and I think, if there might not be a better use for this time - but it's such a great value! It helps me really to stay on track.
I wish you all a good day
Days no PMO: 4
Day no MO: 0
Days Digital Minimalism: 0
What did I do yesterday to better myself?
- Small Workout in the Morning
- Laundry
- Read a few pages
- Went to the canteen and met up with a friend
- Journal in the morning and evening
- Still was very distracted by my phone and watched YT in the evening
- Zero focus hours studying
- MOed before lunchtime
It's great that I have a bit more freetime at the moment!
Today I got up at 5:59 h
I wanted to get up before 6 o'clock - so it's a win, ha? No matter how bad I feel - I must try to be optimistic and have fun with the pain - then it's a much better perspective!I wrote down the goals for today and will be satisfied when I manage the following:
- Workout in the morning
- Take cold shower after that
- 5 hours of deep work studying
- Short Journal Entry after Lunch
- Journal Entry in the Evening
The journaling should not be a hustle - Sometimes it's very hard for me to just sit down and journal and I think, if there might not be a better use for this time - but it's such a great value! It helps me really to stay on track.
I wish you all a good day
SmokenMirrors
Well-Known Member
Hope it's going well man!
ADFECTATIO
Active Member
Overall I am happy with the day - it was a step in the right direction and its kind of logically, that I can't go from zero holiday mode back to my best study form.
So here is what I accomplished of the goals:
There are a few things I can better.
I was on my phone druring the day: Here I will try to just open it after work - I set an half an hour. Maybe this is to hard for the beginning - but I know how much more progress I can make with uni when I am not on context shifting during the day.
Ah I recognize - I am too tired. Will get up early tomorrow again. You will be hearing from me.
All in all the accountability helped today. Thanks and good night
So here is what I accomplished of the goals:
- Workout in the morning
- Take cold shower after that
- 5 hours of deep work studying
- managed 3 hours and also did organize some other things, that were not studying but had to be done. - Short Journal Entry after Lunch
- Journal Entry in the Evening
There are a few things I can better.
I was on my phone druring the day: Here I will try to just open it after work - I set an half an hour. Maybe this is to hard for the beginning - but I know how much more progress I can make with uni when I am not on context shifting during the day.
Ah I recognize - I am too tired. Will get up early tomorrow again. You will be hearing from me.
All in all the accountability helped today. Thanks and good night
SmokenMirrors
Well-Known Member
Excellent stuff man! Keep it up!
ADFECTATIO
Active Member
Hei @SmokenMirrors and @Blondie thank you so much for your support these days! It means a lot to me!
I guess, because it worked that good yesterday, I will do the same today.
These tasks will move me forward today - they are the most important and I will do them before all the other stuff.
Day no MO: 1
Days Digital Minimalism: 0
I guess, because it worked that good yesterday, I will do the same today.
These tasks will move me forward today - they are the most important and I will do them before all the other stuff.
- Handstand training in the morning
- Cold Shower after that
- 5 h Study Deep Work; finished before 6 o'clock
- Social Media use only in the timeslot: 18:30 - 19:00 h (treat it like email)
- Journal Entry after lunch
- Longer reflection at 20:30 h in the evening - with entry to this log
Day no MO: 1
Days Digital Minimalism: 0
ADFECTATIO
Active Member
- Handstand training in the morning
- Cold Shower after that
- 5 h Study Deep Work; finished before 6 o'clock - not exactly before 6 o`clock, but I was done around half past six
- Social Media use only in the timeslot: 18:30 - 19:00 h (treat it like email) - When I wanted to start with the uni stuff, I didn't know where to start. I am at the beginning phase of studying for this exam - and am trying to establish a study plan. I really don't like this state So I looked up other stuff in the internet and even whatched a few YT videos. I lost about an hour. The rest of the day went fine - I just visited Whatsapp right before my lunch break to see if some collegues are going to the canteen as well.
- Journal Entry after lunch - I just forgot about it and went back to studying Not mad about that.
- Longer reflection at 20:30 h in the evening - with entry to this log
SmokenMirrors
Well-Known Member
Great stuff! What a day!
ADFECTATIO
Active Member
Days no PMO: 6
Day no MO: 2
Days Digital Minimalism: 0
Maybe one thing about the deep work hours: I track those hours I sit concentrated and really do study. If I do a five minute break after 30 min - I just note the 30 min and not the break. Also I do the pomodoro technique and try to focus as intense as possible.
Cal Newport has a formula: Productivity = Intensity x time spent. So either you sit very long hours or you focus intense. Because time is so valuable and really limited at my studies I try to maximize the intensity. I do this with the memory palaces, watching lectures in 2x (sometimes 3x) speed, speed reading and yeah overall just trying to push myself.
If I would just watch an online lecture with low intensity I could fire out more than 6 study hours - but for me the intense 6 hours are really tough and I also need a few breaks in between.
A year ago I had 5 h as a "good day", when there were no lectures. Now I see 6 hours on a free day as good and also managed 5 hours deep work + some labratory practice at uni.
_____________
Last night I slept horrible. I went to bed early but I felt not good in the morning. I woke up many times. I will be careful and if I need a break or am loosing focus, I make an early end of the workday.
Metrics for today are:
Day no MO: 2
Days Digital Minimalism: 0
Maybe one thing about the deep work hours: I track those hours I sit concentrated and really do study. If I do a five minute break after 30 min - I just note the 30 min and not the break. Also I do the pomodoro technique and try to focus as intense as possible.
Cal Newport has a formula: Productivity = Intensity x time spent. So either you sit very long hours or you focus intense. Because time is so valuable and really limited at my studies I try to maximize the intensity. I do this with the memory palaces, watching lectures in 2x (sometimes 3x) speed, speed reading and yeah overall just trying to push myself.
If I would just watch an online lecture with low intensity I could fire out more than 6 study hours - but for me the intense 6 hours are really tough and I also need a few breaks in between.
A year ago I had 5 h as a "good day", when there were no lectures. Now I see 6 hours on a free day as good and also managed 5 hours deep work + some labratory practice at uni.
_____________
Last night I slept horrible. I went to bed early but I felt not good in the morning. I woke up many times. I will be careful and if I need a break or am loosing focus, I make an early end of the workday.
Metrics for today are:
- 5 h deep work
- finished setting up the study plan
- workout in the morning
- short visualization or entry after lunch
- journal in evening
- no YT / Social Media until 18:30 h - not even ckecking for lunch, because all of my collegues are at their hometown. Maybe I will meet someone at the canteen, but if not, I am totally fine to eat alone.
- Bunch of smaller ToDos ( Health Insurance, finances)
ADFECTATIO
Active Member
So - hello to you all.
I know I haven't been posting for a while. I kind of got lost in a destructive relapse spiral, procrastinated majorly and even performed very bad on my exam, because I didn't study. That made me feel very unhappy. I saw no hope and I thought "oh I am always failing on my own.".
So I needed to change something. Therefore I searched for professional help. The places where your health insurance takes care of the costs are limited and the only thing that was available was a group therapy. I met up with the psychologist to talk already and he seemed like a goodhearted man.
So tomorrow will be the first group therapy session for me.
During the talk with this guy I told my story and while talking I reminded myself of what really helped me in 2020 to make the first good progress: the metascript journaling. So I will try doing this journaling again.
Today I don't want to decide on how I will interact with this forum, but I felt like writing an update is a good idea.
I know I haven't been posting for a while. I kind of got lost in a destructive relapse spiral, procrastinated majorly and even performed very bad on my exam, because I didn't study. That made me feel very unhappy. I saw no hope and I thought "oh I am always failing on my own.".
So I needed to change something. Therefore I searched for professional help. The places where your health insurance takes care of the costs are limited and the only thing that was available was a group therapy. I met up with the psychologist to talk already and he seemed like a goodhearted man.
So tomorrow will be the first group therapy session for me.
During the talk with this guy I told my story and while talking I reminded myself of what really helped me in 2020 to make the first good progress: the metascript journaling. So I will try doing this journaling again.
Today I don't want to decide on how I will interact with this forum, but I felt like writing an update is a good idea.
ADFECTATIO
Active Member
Hello again.
Another update and I will start posting regularly again, because today is another Day 0 and the last months I was going down more and more.
I think this forum helped me last time. I was astonished that I got to 28 days without MO and PMO! This number looks so huge from the point I am right now.
What happend since August 2022?
I went to this group therapy thing. I gave it a try, but it was hard to fit in the time and when I was there, the people that attended the meetings where whining about their lives and in the beginning there was always 45 Min of "small talk". I got frustrated, saw no progress with this group and left on december.
This semester university was stepping up a big step and on top of that I startet working 10 h / week besindes university. Anatomy class was very demanding and the extra time restriction due to working put a lot of pressure on me. On top of that I got Covid, missed a lot of courses, which I had to take the weeks afterwards and lost score points in anatomy, which in the end caused me to fail this class. I have to retake the whole course next year again (not the best thing, but anatomy is key foundation to medicine, so its just beneficial to repeat the course again).
The thing is: now I am behind with the exams. That is fine, I can take my time, but I am already 28 now and I want to finish Med School as fast as possible - and the thing that pisses me off the most: I have time, I waste in front of the PC watching stupid YT Videos and doing PMO.
The pressure got higher and higher and I went to thing I did most of my life since 2010 when things got hard: PMO.
So here I am - Day 0.
Relapsed in the morning.
Set up the Cold Turkey Blocker again - just to give me air to breathe - to set up a barrier to break my autopilot porn habit.
In the afternoon I did a basic fitness test. In order to gain more time, I stopped working out in december: FOR ANYONE READING THIS and if I ever consider this again: DUMB IDEA ! Regular physical activity is basic requirement for physical AND mental health!
I don't like how my endurance and stregth is in the moment and that I grew a belly since december. Therfore I startet working out again and will begin with a training program next week. This program lasts 12 weeks and it is also a mental training ground for me to bring up the discipline and commitment to absolve every workout during this period. The program consists of endurance, streght and muscle endurance work.
Done.
Another update and I will start posting regularly again, because today is another Day 0 and the last months I was going down more and more.
I think this forum helped me last time. I was astonished that I got to 28 days without MO and PMO! This number looks so huge from the point I am right now.
What happend since August 2022?
I went to this group therapy thing. I gave it a try, but it was hard to fit in the time and when I was there, the people that attended the meetings where whining about their lives and in the beginning there was always 45 Min of "small talk". I got frustrated, saw no progress with this group and left on december.
This semester university was stepping up a big step and on top of that I startet working 10 h / week besindes university. Anatomy class was very demanding and the extra time restriction due to working put a lot of pressure on me. On top of that I got Covid, missed a lot of courses, which I had to take the weeks afterwards and lost score points in anatomy, which in the end caused me to fail this class. I have to retake the whole course next year again (not the best thing, but anatomy is key foundation to medicine, so its just beneficial to repeat the course again).
The thing is: now I am behind with the exams. That is fine, I can take my time, but I am already 28 now and I want to finish Med School as fast as possible - and the thing that pisses me off the most: I have time, I waste in front of the PC watching stupid YT Videos and doing PMO.
The pressure got higher and higher and I went to thing I did most of my life since 2010 when things got hard: PMO.
So here I am - Day 0.
Relapsed in the morning.
Set up the Cold Turkey Blocker again - just to give me air to breathe - to set up a barrier to break my autopilot porn habit.
In the afternoon I did a basic fitness test. In order to gain more time, I stopped working out in december: FOR ANYONE READING THIS and if I ever consider this again: DUMB IDEA ! Regular physical activity is basic requirement for physical AND mental health!
I don't like how my endurance and stregth is in the moment and that I grew a belly since december. Therfore I startet working out again and will begin with a training program next week. This program lasts 12 weeks and it is also a mental training ground for me to bring up the discipline and commitment to absolve every workout during this period. The program consists of endurance, streght and muscle endurance work.
Done.
ADFECTATIO
Active Member
Days no PMO: 1
Day no MO: 1
Days Digital Minimalism: 0 - watched some music videos
Deep Work Hours: 1 h 40 min
So, at the moment I am not happy with me, because the afternoon was very distracted and I procrastinated.
But I have to keep myself in check: In comparison to the last 8 days I did great. The last 8 days I was a total PMO and YT Video watching wreck. Absolut degenerative. Therefore, thumbs up for today.
"What have you done today to better yourself? No one cares about what you did yesterday" - Goggins
So here is what I have done today:
- Got up at 5 am
- 1,5 h Metascipt Journaling (see Mark Queppet for more) - helped me to gain mental clearity
- 1,5 h Deep Work
- 1,5 h Workout - Cardio (= Commute via bike to gym, and gym workout, strength)
- 10 Min Deep Work in the afternoon.
Metascript Stuff:
This morning I formulated a "main objective" = a goal on which I will put my maximum focus. You might think "yeah quitting porn, obvious" - but I think quitting P is a goal to get away from sth - and in order to get away from sth you also need sth to go to - and I lack productivity. This generates a lot of pressure which then puts me in higher risk of relapse.
Therefore my goal is:
Beginning on 20.02.2023 I will put out 18 h Deep Work every week for the next 13 weeks.
In order to achieve this goal I need to quit porn and the escapism - therefore I use the metascript journaling.
Deep work = concentrated study time, breaks excluded. Besides deep work comes my normal uni and work scedule. I count with 6 workdays per week. Sunday is funday.
Day no MO: 1
Days Digital Minimalism: 0 - watched some music videos
Deep Work Hours: 1 h 40 min
So, at the moment I am not happy with me, because the afternoon was very distracted and I procrastinated.
But I have to keep myself in check: In comparison to the last 8 days I did great. The last 8 days I was a total PMO and YT Video watching wreck. Absolut degenerative. Therefore, thumbs up for today.
"What have you done today to better yourself? No one cares about what you did yesterday" - Goggins
So here is what I have done today:
- Got up at 5 am
- 1,5 h Metascipt Journaling (see Mark Queppet for more) - helped me to gain mental clearity
- 1,5 h Deep Work
- 1,5 h Workout - Cardio (= Commute via bike to gym, and gym workout, strength)
- 10 Min Deep Work in the afternoon.
Metascript Stuff:
This morning I formulated a "main objective" = a goal on which I will put my maximum focus. You might think "yeah quitting porn, obvious" - but I think quitting P is a goal to get away from sth - and in order to get away from sth you also need sth to go to - and I lack productivity. This generates a lot of pressure which then puts me in higher risk of relapse.
Therefore my goal is:
Beginning on 20.02.2023 I will put out 18 h Deep Work every week for the next 13 weeks.
In order to achieve this goal I need to quit porn and the escapism - therefore I use the metascript journaling.
Deep work = concentrated study time, breaks excluded. Besides deep work comes my normal uni and work scedule. I count with 6 workdays per week. Sunday is funday.
ADFECTATIO
Active Member
Days no PMO: 2
Day no MO: 2
Days Digital Minimalism: 1
Deep Work Hours: 4 h 15 min
I put in another 30 Min DW in the evening yesterday.
What have you done today to better yourself?
- Got up 4:45 am
- 4 h 15 min DW
Thats all for the day. Will be meeting up my friends this evening and will we cook together.
Day no MO: 2
Days Digital Minimalism: 1
Deep Work Hours: 4 h 15 min
I put in another 30 Min DW in the evening yesterday.
What have you done today to better yourself?
- Got up 4:45 am
- 4 h 15 min DW
Thats all for the day. Will be meeting up my friends this evening and will we cook together.
ADFECTATIO
Active Member
Days no PMO: 3
Day no MO: 3
Days Digital Minimalism: 2
Deep Work Hours: 0
No fancy insights today. I have been working 9,5 hours today at the labratory. Tomorrow again. It´s going allright.
Yesterday I left the party at 19:30 to get to bed early. Had a rough night of sleep and this morning I got up at 5:20 am.
Day no MO: 3
Days Digital Minimalism: 2
Deep Work Hours: 0
No fancy insights today. I have been working 9,5 hours today at the labratory. Tomorrow again. It´s going allright.
Yesterday I left the party at 19:30 to get to bed early. Had a rough night of sleep and this morning I got up at 5:20 am.