Learning to treat myself well
- Thread starter ADFECTATIO
- Start date
Blondie
Respected Member
Sorry to hear this @ADFECTATIO. I've found that internet blockers are often self-deceiving because you think you're safe when in reality, you're not. I know they work for some here, which is great, but as for me, they just don't make the cut. In the end, we have to find ways to rely on ourselves and form the habits and discipline to move forward. It might be quote unquote harder, but in the end, it will make us stronger and test our resolve.
Don't be too hard on yourself, many folks here have experienced the same thing.
Best
Don't be too hard on yourself, many folks here have experienced the same thing.
Best
Too many former gamers end up treating them like games. Whatcha gonna do differently? Accountability? A therapist friend in recovery swears by this one: http://spaa-recovery.org/
ADFECTATIO
Member
Reboot: 1 d
Deep Work: 3.5 h
Deep Work: 3.5 h
It's tough to apply the brakes. It sounds like you need daily support for a while. Here are 2 options, but you may be aware of others.
Blondie
Respected Member
Let's do this @ADFECTATIO!
Blondie
Respected Member
Nice job on both counts @ADFECTATIO.
ADFECTATIO
Member
Day 0 yesterday
ADFECTATIO
Member
I deleted all the entrys in this tread, because I was ashamed. I thought, I had shared too much about my private life... I wanted to forget about the reboot and everything. And sometimes I still wonder: Would it be better to stop counting the days? I dont know...
I broke up from my girl - the relationship was not working. I tried to fix it, she pulled away more and more until it got really toxic. I didnt go to the gym, I didnt study - actually - the sad thing is, I kind of lost 6 months with this bullshit... Should have broken up in January, but tried to fix it and only after much more damage found the balls to end it in June / July.
Since then I am working on myself again. And it got really better. Invest a lot of time into studying, but I am still not happy with myself - still not getting good grades - and one big exam that is holding me up... I might not have passed it and have to redo it again. And I dont want to "just pass" the exams anymore - I want to feel proud about myself...
Started also going to the gym... different workout program, doing some bodybuilding exercises I have never done bevore, still combined with the heavy lifts.
My streak is crappy... like the last weeks it was 6 - 0 - 3 - 0 - 6 - 0 - 3 aaand today I relapsed and am back at 0 again. But I am trying to not let myself down... the thing is, normally I slip and then a few days go buy where I feel like shit and dont get anything done - but today I went to the gym after the setback, and I was astonished about the good workout I got out...
Day 0
Deep Work: 2,5 h
Gym done
I broke up from my girl - the relationship was not working. I tried to fix it, she pulled away more and more until it got really toxic. I didnt go to the gym, I didnt study - actually - the sad thing is, I kind of lost 6 months with this bullshit... Should have broken up in January, but tried to fix it and only after much more damage found the balls to end it in June / July.
Since then I am working on myself again. And it got really better. Invest a lot of time into studying, but I am still not happy with myself - still not getting good grades - and one big exam that is holding me up... I might not have passed it and have to redo it again. And I dont want to "just pass" the exams anymore - I want to feel proud about myself...
Started also going to the gym... different workout program, doing some bodybuilding exercises I have never done bevore, still combined with the heavy lifts.
My streak is crappy... like the last weeks it was 6 - 0 - 3 - 0 - 6 - 0 - 3 aaand today I relapsed and am back at 0 again. But I am trying to not let myself down... the thing is, normally I slip and then a few days go buy where I feel like shit and dont get anything done - but today I went to the gym after the setback, and I was astonished about the good workout I got out...
Day 0
Deep Work: 2,5 h
Gym done
BrassBalls707
Member
Give yourself time to grieve these losses. I understand you're dissatisfied with a lot of things in your life at the moment, and these stressors require your attention. As it stands, you have a herculean amount of pressure on you. Just consider what troubles you addressed in your last post. Shame from oversharing, doubts about your process, erasing your journal, studying perfectionism, expectations, challenging yourself physically, a breakup, toxicity, gym guilt, PMO backslides...
Managing your expectations may come with a great deal of disappointment. 'Losing' one such idealistic expectation can be grieved for as well. Don't be afraid to set the bar lower so you can build upward momentum. If you put the bar too high to begin with, you'll have ran yourself ragged when or if you reach it. What energy will remain to truly live your achievements, then? Be compassionate towards yourself and absolutely dismantle these troubles as you continue your climb. You sound like a tenacious motherfucker when it comes to love and I recognize that of myself in you. That's why I wholeheartedly believe you are capable of applying the very same doggedness to your other struggles. What I'm trying to say is that there's no benefit to having these troubles weigh you down. As opposed to physical weights, mental and emotional ones don't make your stronger over time. They can make you bitter, hopeless, depressed... or make you feel some other negative way. This is fuel for the all-consuming fire of PMO. As a fellow rebooter, that reads like a textbook fire hazard. Drag these out into the cold and lay them bare. See how they still smolder.
As you have rightly emphasized, it pays to challenge these negative apperceptions or feelings! You have firsthand experience that our personal beliefs needn't be true. A backslide can be reduced to a misstep, or prevented altogether. This is a significant step in the good direction. Keep this up!
I'm rootin' n tootin' for you dude. Count your Ws, not just the Ls.
Onwards!