Learning to treat myself well

[ADFECTATIO]

Good morning!
Yes - I have set a study baseline of 1,5 h - it's the amount I think I can do every day, no matter how busy the day is. Today I have course from 8 - 18 h, so I got up a bit earlier to do 45 min now and 45 min after the course.

I hope - I wish - I really want to! keep up those habits - no I have to keep up those habits and never let them slip - and then I can start building up a productive live from that ground.

Here I am - commiting to another day with the NO-Arousal technique, no touching the D, no substitute, no looking at girls on the street - just focus on the task at hand.
I will be careful in the evening, because of tiredness. I will get home, shower fast and then sit down for another study session. Afterwars I will eat on the balkony and maybe go for a relaxing walk in the woods.

 

[ADFECTATIO]

Reboot: 4 d
Baseline: 7 d
Digital Minimalism: 2 d
Deep Work: 1,5 h

Had an awesome day and am super tired right now. I had an easy time with the reboot, because I focused on studying and life. Had course the whole day, managed to study a bit before and also a bit in the evening. I am not that satisfied, because I am still far behind for the exam - but well, than I might just fuck this exam up and retake it in august. More important is to get the baseline going and to leave the porn and escapism behind!

After course I met with the one girl again and we had a good time. She clearly likes me and I enjoy the time with her also (was a short date, so didn't really take much time from studying, was good to get a clear head after course).

I wasn't on whatsaop until the late afternoon - was texting a bit after I had finished everything. No YT, no videos.

And hey- this day feels so much better when I am present and live it!

Today I talked with a guy who stopped smoking: He said he needed a lot of tries, but then the key was to never start again. And he is right - its also the thing the easy peasy method says: I am already a non user, I just must never try to peak - bc. I might get hooked again then.

 

[ADFECTATIO]

Here again! Fuck porn and fuck the attention media! I have a great life and even if not - there is no reason for escapism. Escaping life is useless. It makes my "problems" even bigger - the mountain of things to do grows. Time goes by. Time doesn't give a fuck. Life doesn't give a fuck. Challenges and hardships will fucking come. And no one asks me, if it's allright. So - I will have to become a professional not-giving-a-fuck about "bad situations"! I would love to not care about tiny discomforts, or if I had a bad night of sleep, or panic about the exam - what ever, bring it on. I would love to be so calm and to just do the things, I should do. Just like a true stoic.
That is the only way, life gets easier - because I get things done. Then I have the time and freedom to do things I enjoy - and I also enjoy the things I should do way more, because I am ahead. I am prepared!

Oh yes. And therefore I tell porn to go fuck itself! Fuck Youtube! Fuck the escapism! I am a NONUSER and its super easy, just don't peak - I am glad I don't have to watch porn ever again, this life is so much better witrhout.
I commit to focusing on my life today. I have a full and great day ahead! This evening I would love to go to bed proud about my study results!

Hooya.

 

[ADFECTATIO]

Reboot: 5 d
Baseline: 8 d
Digital Minimalism: 3 d
Deep Work: 1,5 h


Allright. Long day.
The course was longer then expected (around 17:30) - then I was walking home with the girl and we sat down at a bench and relaxed a bit, also held hands, which was nice - was at home around 1930 and well - getting the baseline done was a hell of a struggle. I don't think the studying was that productive, but what counts is: I did the baseline!

 

[ADFECTATIO]

Good. Slept a bit longer, was slow to get started with the day, but I already did laundry and he - if I could manage the baseline on the full weekend I had - so it will be super easy today. I will do more!

I have a plan for today. It's all set out, thats what I'll focus on.
Fuck porn and escapism! I am a man of action and I have a mission in life - and here and today I have the ability to move closer to my goals!
I can manage today.

So - no touching the d, no wandering with the mind, no YT and I will check Whatsapp after I finished studying (around 1730). In the evening: Gym.

I will make today a great day.

 

[SmokenMirrors]

Good. Slept a bit longer, was slow to get started with the day, but I already did laundry and he - if I could manage the baseline on the full weekend I had - so it will be super easy today. I will do more!

I have a plan for today. It's all set out, thats what I'll focus on.
Fuck porn and escapism! I am a man of action and I have a mission in life - and here and today I have the ability to move closer to my goals!
I can manage today.

So - no touching the d, no wandering with the mind, no YT and I will check Whatsapp after I finished studying (around 1730). In the evening: Gym.

I will make today a great day.

Love this! As a man, we should be chasing nothing but our mission!

 

[ADFECTATIO]

Reboot: 6 d
Baseline: 9 d
Digital Minimalism: 4 d
Deep Work: 2.25 h (+ 45 min for the paramedic course)

Yes SmokenMirrors - you are damn right. And focusing on a mission and a long term goal is so improtant in getting your life together! Since I set up the super longterm goal of becoming an emergency doctor in air rescue I know exactly what is important and what not. I know, I have to stay in shape, to be resilient and capable of night shifts and demanding work. I was determined to get into med school. And now I am taking the course to become a paramedic and work as a paramedic voluntarily.

Further along in the next years I will start rope climbing and get into more mountaineering stuff... I know that I will specify in anaestesia and I study the relevant things now already! I am also connected and friends with anaestetics and emergency doctors I met on campus / clinic.

So - because I know where I want to go, I can align more and more of my life in the right direction. And that is why I am damn sure I can quit the P. and get the reboot done!
___

Today I am not that satisfied with my accomplishments. Altough I studied more than the baseline and had a good heavy duty workout. I was focused in the morning, but had household stuff to do and lost some time there.
I managed to stay off Whatapp until 4 pm, which was fine. But I listened to music during study breaks, which threw off my focus a bit. So will include music in the digital minimalism streak. I really need to go dark and get more done!

Reboot thoughts: I am proud: Today was a hot day and girls were walking around pretty much naked - but I did not give a single fuck! When there were girls dressed in a very attention-seeking way I looked away demonstrative. They will not get into my head! Ha! Fuck you! Not today and damn sure not tomorrow! I was studying alone at home - which is hard, because of all the possibility to distract myself. Here and there I lost focus and went off surfing the web a bit. But I dindt search for any subsitute or stuff and I didnt watch any videos. So this seems to go allright.

 

[ADFECTATIO]

Good Morning!
I already journaled and visualized the day, and I will have a great day in front of me - lots of stuff to do and also a lot of different things that go on.

I am not missing out on anything by not checking my phone or watching videos or listening to music. No - with doing this I level up my focus - then I can go deeper and deeper in studying. I get faster, because I can concentrate better - therefore I get more done, get more results. And those results motivate me to study more and better. Because of that and because of the result in dopamine minimalism I start to enjoy and love studying and advance even more.

The harder the things I do, the greater the positive effect on my life and even if it sucks and I don't see anything else I gain from it, I still gain strength in discipline and willpower. So yeah: FUCK PORN! I love my life and I won't let anyone take my life away from me.

This morning I felt sexual energy. I was thinking about making out with the girl I met. Ah beautiful. That is some potential energy I can transmute and put the love and desire into studying and workouts! Yeah!

 

[ADFECTATIO]

Reboot: 7 d
Baseline: 10 d
Digital Minimalism: 5 d
Deep Work: 1.5 h (+ 1.25 h for the paramedic course)

Not much to say. It was a long day and I had course until 9 pm in the evening.
I am proud to have a 10 day streak on the baseline. It's still far away from the time I actually should study to be good, but its something I can build on.

 

[ADFECTATIO]

Good morning!

Journaled already and set up a good mindest for the day. I know what I have to do.
The whole morning I have course. In the afternoon I aim for 2,5 h deep work for uni + 1 h for the paramedic course. That's doable, but also an acheivement I can be proud of.

I am regaining self confidence. This morning I took a super cold shower without even thinking about it and without making any sound. Just calm and stoic.

Today is doable. No P, No subs, No fucking YT. NO! Fuck porn! Fuck the attention media! You can all fuck off! I know where to go and what to do.
I am free from P and YT - I have not been watching any videos for entertainment for 5 days, that's good. I don't miss anything - I just must not start again with this crap!

One day at a time - but every second counts!

 

[ADFECTATIO]

Reboot: 8 d
Baseline: 11 d
Digital Minimalism: 0 d
Deep Work: 1.5 h

Puh. I will have to journal and look inward about today. Its a real problem I have to solve. I am so afraid to sit down ad study - since the fucking anatomy course last semester, I am screwed up. This afternoon I had time to study - and those calm afternoons are rare and so the pressure was high to get sth done - but I barely managed the baseline. And it wasn't that bad actually.
But I am screwed - I am really sure that I won't pass the exam next week - there is no sugercoating about that.

So. Let me sum up the good and the bad.

The bad:
- did not reach my study goal
- went to YT and procrastinated
- I am sleep deprived → therefore I decide against going hard on me and pushing through to finish this goal - I had time enough today. I am doing this, because I am afraid of a reset in the reboot. This is still the highest priority.

The good:
- I did not like the stuff I usually watched on YT. It is really like junk food - if you stay off long enough and you try it again, it does not taste good: But as always with the supernormal stimuli: They will start tasting good and then you are hooked again. So the last days I was listening to David Goggins speeches on soundloud (kind of passing by the no YT with soundcloud) - but today I was watching motivational videos. And yes, I like his message and I love his books - but to be honest: Listening to these motivational videos, doesn't help me. Actually THIS is procrastinating. I'd have done better, if I just took a longer nap and started again fresh. Or went for a walk and journaled.
Yes: Maybe journaling and looking for the good in the next study session could actually help me. I will deal with this fear - ha I fucking have to. But I'll do it smart. I will go to bed now and get a good night of sleep.
- Baseline done.

I can do it and I will do it! I love my life and I am taking control of it!

Ah. And last to mention: FUCK PORN!

 

[ADFECTATIO]

Update. It's now 23:45: I tried to sleep - it bothered me. So I got up and studied for an hour. Now I have finished my set goal of 2.5 h deep work - I even did 5 min more, just to fucking show who is the boss.

Fuck yes.

 

[ADFECTATIO]

Good.
Got a rather rough night of sleep. Today will be a bit fractured with appointments, but thats no excuse! I am proud of my baseline streak and I am commited to keep it up and to level up my focus!

I love the P free live! I am a man of action - and I fucking hate P and YT and the escapism. This has NO positive effect - it has NEVER braught me any good. I commit today to focus on the tasks at hand.

 

[SmokenMirrors]

Love Goggins! He helps us all to carry the boats!

 

[ADFECTATIO]

Reboot: 9 d
Baseline: 12 d
Digital Minimalism: 1 d
Deep Work: 1.5 h (+ 1.5 h for the paramedic course)

Yeah, Goggins is a big inspiration!
I think I did good today. Slept a bit longer, but the sleep was needed, studied for classes before lunch - did my baseline. After lunch I focused on the paramedic test I have tomorrow. In the evening I hit the gym together with my gym bro for the last time this summer - he will not be going to the gym during summer and focus more on outdoor activity. So I got the chance to work out all on my own!

A bit of gym talk on the side: First, yesterday in the canteen one of our study collegues asked, how much I squat. And we started training and going to the gym regularly in march - so my Squat weight at the moment is 90 kg - but I add 2,5 kg every second workout... Whatever, in my mind 90 kg is still "nothing". The dude was impressed, because he goes to a "normal" gym and he said there 90 kg squat is sth. I go into a litte powerlifting gym that belongs to the local american football team - and when we train there, we feel so small and weak, because there are some super heavy duty guys there. Just today a guy was squatting 170 kg like it was nothing. So, lesson no. 1: Watch your circle! You will set much higher boundaries for yourself, when you hang aroung with tough guys that go hard as well!

And second gym story: Our gym moved, before the moving it was located in a dirty, stinky cellar - and there was not really a seperate changing room - it was raw and bare and just awesome. And because we had no changing room, girls were not allowed. You can imagine the awesome spirit. There was an old cd player with some heavy metal playlists - most guys were working out topless, it was stinky, loud and screaming was often heard. I loved it.
Now, its clean. There are changing rooms, also for girls. And thank god, not many girls go there - most of the time its still the man cave I love - then we train topless, its a great spirit. But sometimes some girls go there also. Like today. There was one. The gym is small. So when you squat you might be squatting behind some people - you definitely have to look at each other - she was fucking wearing a bra and some super tight leggins and while I squatted I had to look in her direction. No one was shirtless, because of here and the whole spirit was "calm and decent". Honestly: I wish our gym would be just boys It was a super toxic safe space And on the other hand: It bothere me and my friend that she was dressed so revealing - I think this kind of gym clothes is too much, I don't like it.

____
Rebootwise: Had heavy morning wood this morning. Doing great. But every second counts - so I will stay hard

 

[ADFECTATIO]

Good morning.

Just thought about: Last summer the downward spiral started for me - so it's about damn time to get this thing turned around and going upward again!
Today I got up early, in order to study before class, because in the afternoon I won't have time. Going hard today. I am thinking about taking a break tomorrow and then starting in the final week before the exam.

In the evening I'll go out with the girl I met. But I don't know - I do not really care that much, I have so many other things going on. But it will be a good time for sure and it will be great to get the mind away from the daily business for an evening.

So: I will focus on the task at hand, keep pushing. Fuck porn and fuck the attention media - NOT today. I can get one more day done - thats doable. And every second counts - So I will stay alert and focused.

molṑn labé!

 

[ADFECTATIO]

Reboot: 10 d
Baseline: 0 d
Digital Minimalism: 2 d
Deep Work: 0.5 h (+ 1.5 h for the paramedic course)

Writing on the first of July, about yesterday. Had classes the whole morning, studied for the paramedic exam and had the test in the afternoon. So yeah - I did study more than 1.5 h, but it was not for uni - so I will reset my baseline streak. Passed the test and will be going first time on an ambulance next week. Looking forward!
Afterwards the one girl and I went out to eat - later we went to my place and had an awesome evening. She left this morning and we had a great time and also passionate sex!

Now I am a bit tired, will take a nap in the afternoon and then the next few days will be full on hustle mode for the next exam!

 

[AJ7]

Nice! @ADFECTATIO

 

[ADFECTATIO]

Reboot: 11 d
Baseline: 1 d
Digital Minimalism: 0 d - I watched a medicine documentary while eating, so not that bad, but still I watched sth - moving in the right direction
Deep Work: 1.5 h

Boy, was this day crap. I was not only a bit tired - I was wrecked. Maybe I should have set some boundaries and prioritized sleep more - but on the other hand, it was the first time having such a great romantic and loving evening since 1,5 years!

I did the baseline - but it was not really productive...
Am going to bed super early. I got this!

 

[cookiemonster]

Don't worry about a less productive day after a night like that. We're not machines, our energy is finite.

Totally normal as well that you found yourself watching a little video on a day when you were more tired (and probably a little distracted after last night haha).

Rest up and then ease yourself back into your routines .