Deleted member 29199
Day 23: Clean (No PMO)
I have been there where you are right now. Our one mistake very often makes us fall so far behind. After which starting all over again with patience, is itself a challenge. And so as you said that you engaged in MO it also happened with me every time I relapsed. Maybe, when we give in it happens because of triggers but if gets continued it happens because of temptations and urges I guess.I actually don't know where am I in this reboot. What do you think after reading what I wrote above? I can use advices.
There's this victory sort of feeling when I don't give into those things. So yeah it could be my brain trying to make me go back to it or it could be reinforcing my mind to think this has no more leverage on me.I also went through the crazy porn dreams phase. It's a weird thing. I think it's your subconscious trying to get back the thing it's missing, and at the same time reinforce that you're quitting.
After which starting all over again with patience, is itself a challenge.
You did relapse and its ok. Start all over again. Write everyday about what you feel and what you did to control your urges. No MO is necessary for someone for the first 30 days.