I dont know what to do

[Sach]

My husband says he doesn't love me. He says he knows he's a crappy husband, but doesn't want to put the effort into changing. Says if I choose divorce, he'll sign them.
Porn has been an issue forever for him. He's also chosen to talk to many other women in the past almost 2 years ago. I am still hurt, he doesn't see that he cheated. He is a long distance trucker and porn is what he uses. He even told one of my kids he doesn't love me this evening. I just don't know what to do. Been married almost 17 years.

 

[Gracie]

I am so sorry you are going through this. I will be sending strengthening thoughts and prayers your way. I have seen articles on truckers using porn. Get the book Love You Hate the Porn. It will help you heal whether or not you are together. If he wants to stay, it will help him as well. Do everything you can to take care of you. You are a good person, you are NOT the reason he uses porn. If he says this he is gaslighting you and is justifying his bad chooses. If you like you can pm me through this site. I am 10 years past my husband and I going through this. Yes we made it through. But it took work.

 

[GrateClips]

I am so sorry you are going through this. I will be sending strengthening thoughts and prayers your way. I have seen articles on truckers using porn. Get the book Love You Hate the Porn. It will help you heal whether or not you are together. If he wants to stay, it will help him as well. Do everything you can to take care of you. You are a good person, you are NOT the reason he uses porn. If he says this he is gaslighting you and is justifying his bad chooses. If you like you can pm me through this site. I am 10 years past my husband and I going through this. Yes we made it through. But it took work.

also read Out of the Shadows by P Carnes. It very well may hold the keys to understanding why he is like this. There are men out there who don't see their wives for very long times yet can stay faithful to them not just without other women but with porn. But they are wired differently than men who physically or emotionally cheat on their spouses (vice versa too, women to men).

Counseling may be the next step but choose the counselor carefully.

 

[Gooner]

My husband says he doesn't love me. He says he knows he's a crappy husband, but doesn't want to put the effort into changing. Says if I choose divorce, he'll sign them.
Porn has been an issue forever for him. He's also chosen to talk to many other women in the past almost 2 years ago. I am still hurt, he doesn't see that he cheated. He is a long distance trucker and porn is what he uses. He even told one of my kids he doesn't love me this evening. I just don't know what to do. Been married almost 17 years.

So sorry to read your post, i too am a trucker (was long distance) who used porn & yes cheated aswell. A few months ago i thought i would never get out of this addiction, i am now in reccovery, i have done an intensive residential course with other porn/sex addicts & now have a very different outlook on life. Its still early days but i have an understanding of what was happening to me, tools to help me move forward & a new support network which amazes me every time we chat. The place i went to also supports partners with counselling whether alone or as a couple.
Can i ask, does he admit he actually has a problem or is he still in denial of everything?