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strongfuture89

Active Member
Hey, you´re doing good, man! Walking is a very good thing to do, by the way. It calms the mind and creates optic flow (seeing things pass by) which reduces anxiety and stress; it´s like your mind says "that´s behind me now". Invite your gf to walk with you. 😉
Maybe change your workout to an easy to remember program using sensation of failure or a fixed set of weights?
 

kopp

Active Member
Day 8 ✅
Day 9
Still feeling the benefits of a new testosterone baseline while being more calm.
I played with fire - my girlfriend and I talked about sex over the phone.
I'm a bit nervous today. Tired of my boring work.
I'm going for a walk
@strongfuture89 I'll think about that during my walk! I really like my workouts as they are and I get good results, but it would indeed be nice to do something about the screen thing!
 

kopp

Active Member
Day 10!
I'm on mini holidays for the next 4 days, we'll celebrate my brother's birthday, my girlfriend is here, I'm happy to be with my family.
We see one of my best friends today.
I've had sex with my girlfriend but I did not ejaculate, I really wanted to keep the boost of energy that comes with semen retention. It works wonders: I feel very good and sex has been excellent, I last much longer that way and I'm more willing to do it again and again. It's crazy how good it is!
Stay strong brothers!
 

kopp

Active Member
Day 11
Gym yesterday. 10 000+ steps everyday for the last 13 days. I went groceries shopping for me and my family. I've spent yesterday afternoon with one of my best friends and my girlfriend, outside, in a park.
I had sex yesterday, 3 times, on the 3rd time I ejaculated which made me instantly sleepy. I have less energy today, a bit of brain fog. It's not catastrophic but I'm not as driven as I was yesterday. I'm lazier, more nervous, more impatient, less focused. It's crazy... I even had a craving for cyber sex this morning.
I still feel OK overall :) Much better than I did after my last relapses.

Thank you all for your support!
 

Androg

Administrator
Admin
Moderator
Day 11
Gym yesterday. 10 000+ steps everyday for the last 13 days. I went groceries shopping for me and my family. I've spent yesterday afternoon with one of my best friends and my girlfriend, outside, in a park.
I had sex yesterday, 3 times, on the 3rd time I ejaculated which made me instantly sleepy. I have less energy today, a bit of brain fog. It's not catastrophic but I'm not as driven as I was yesterday. I'm lazier, more nervous, more impatient, less focused. It's crazy... I even had a craving for cyber sex this morning.
I still feel OK overall :) Much better than I did after my last relapses.

Thank you all for your support!
Interesting observations.
 

kopp

Active Member
Day 14
Day 16 of walking >10 000 steps per day
For now the last days, NoFap has been easy as I was living with my family and girlfriend. My gf and I are going back to our place today, this could be challenging as I'll need to adapt to that environment again!
Things I must do in order to get back to my good habits: gym in the morning, going out during lunch break to get to my 10 000 daily steps.

Let's goooo!
 

kopp

Active Member
Day 16
I'm doing OK from a health and mental perspective. Went to the gym this morning and also yesterday.
However my girlfriend has been really painful to deal with today. No idea what happens in her head sometimes. She exagerates everything, the smallest things get her mad, she overreacts...

I might be alone on Friday night and Saturday night. This will be extremely challenging. I've gone so far, I don't want to waste those efforts.
I'm exhausted. Better go to bed real quick.

See you guys, thanks for your support!
 

kopp

Active Member
Day 17!
I woke up easily this morning, I had a good energy at the gym and on my way back home. My thoughts are a bit dissipated, I dislike my job although I like the company and its perks.
I noticed that on NoFap I need a bit less sleep. Like 7 hours and a half instead of 8 hours +.

I've tried various supplements for mental health and focus and none of them come close to nofap + a good night of sleep.

I feel a bit robotic, a bit lost, but with good health and decent energy.
I'm doing good but I need to focus to be more productive.
 

strongfuture89

Active Member
Maybe you can already create a little todo list for those evenings alone, like have a guided meditation video or a workout video ready that you can start when alone? And yes, sleep really helps a lot! It also really helps against urges.
 

kopp

Active Member
Maybe you can already create a little todo list for those evenings alone, like have a guided meditation video or a workout video ready that you can start when alone? And yes, sleep really helps a lot! It also really helps against urges.

Day 19! So happy to be there already

Excellent suggestion :)
I'll be alone tonight, I'm tired already. My plan for tonight is to watch YouTube until 9pm maximum and then turn off all screens. (I've had a low screen time this week). I'll use my massage gun also to be ultra relaxed.
Tomorrow I have a flight for a business trip. I won't be alone until next Saturday - this will be challenging! Before that it should be easy to abstain.

My plan for next Saturday when I'll come back from my trip:
Grab food on the way back, eat, call my girlfriend and decide with her if she comes home on Sunday or if I join her at here parents place.
If I stay, start Sunday by going to the gym, no computer before 12.
Until then, the plan is to have fun and meet my coworkers!
I won't be writing much in my journal during the next week. I'll try to do it at least once though

So I gotta be careful:
- tonight
- next Saturday
Thank you all for your support!
 

kopp

Active Member
Day 29!!!!
I'm tired and my last 3 days have filled with temptations and even some edging...

I'm happy to be on Day 29! That's awesome!

I have to be extra careful tonight. I'll go to the gym!
 

Androg

Administrator
Admin
Moderator
Day 29!!!!
I'm tired and my last 3 days have filled with temptations and even some edging...

I'm happy to be on Day 29! That's awesome!

I have to be extra careful tonight. I'll go to the gym!
Edging generally makes cravings worse.
 

kopp

Active Member
Edging generally makes cravings worse.
You're so right! Edging is even worse than relapse in some sense. Edging is not an option, I should never do it.

What happened to me: I was abstaining effortlessly due to my environment (a roommate, things to do everyday at all time).
Then my 1st flight on the way back home was delayed which made me miss the 2nd one. I had to stay one more night in a foreign city, I was tired and extremely stressed (had to wake up at 2am to get my 7am flight the next morning!) and suddenly PMO was an option again and the cravings came... PMO was the only thing I desired at that moment.

+ I wasn't into the habit of counting days and posting here anymore...
I'm back home now, still had cravings today, my habits have temporarily changed: I got hit in the ribcage and can't workout for a few days so I'm not going to the gym as I used to do...
Tonight I'm alone again and with those cravings I have to be extremely proactive. My girlfriend will be away from 7pm, I'll turn down screens at this moment. I'll plan my next days and will go to bed early.


I'm on Day 31 :) I want to keep going!
 

kopp

Active Member
I lasted 34 days, relapsed once, then lasted 10 days.
Edging was a big mistake and fatigue got me. I relapsed again on friday night, yesterday night and finally this morning.
I'd like to write about it but for now my brain is fried, I'll just go outside in nature I guess, walk until it gets better. My life was a mess lately, too much work, zero rest, a few stressful events on top of that... At least it made me realize internet P + watching youtube were my way to deal with stress. I know what to work on now: deal with stress in a healthy way. Advices welcome!
@Androg I watched your YouTube video and I recognized myself 100%. I too quit alcohol and... P addiction is so much harder to quit. You express yourself superbly well and you're super charismatic - big guy, solid face. It's been more than 10 days and I don't remember everything so I'll watch it again!
 

forceisstrong2

Active Member
34 days is really really good. What works for me - I'll review the month, what worked, why didn't, what issue caused me to go back - then I try to solve that issue for the next 30.
 

kopp

Active Member
Day 0
I've been tracking my Nofap journey since 102 days and 12 relapses happened in those 102 days, 4 of them in the last 3 weeks.
That's 90 days PMO free in 102 days!
34 days is still my best streak so far, with another one of 28.

I like to have two counters, one that is reseted when I relapse and one that is not.
The worst part about those relapses is how much time I spend edging. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't feel as bad if at least I did it fast. I flood my brain with chemicals for hours and then I'm completely deprived of all willpower.

Causes for the recent relapses:
- Christmas time meant holidays for me, far away from my place, my habits were disrupted, I wake up later than before and don't go to the gym in the morning anymore... this is something I want to start doing again asap.
- I'm mega giga ultra bored by my work (and I work from home). Initiative is punished. Every time I tried to make things better I was met with skepticism and bureaucracy, adding more work to myself. I'm done with this, "smile, node and agree" is my new mantra - no initiative from me anymore.
- My relationship with my girlfriend has deteriorated lately, she was behaving in bad ways that were detrimental to both of us, being insufferable most of the time. It's getting better now but we almost broke up. Strangely, we had sex more often during that time.
- I had stopped caring about NoFap. Stopped journaling here, stopped refreshing my counter on another site, stopped journaling daily in my notepad.

I've started therapy with someone specialized in porn addiction. I have difficulties doing the exercises he gives me because they're not as fun as hanging on internet. Each session has been useful though and I understand better where my addiction comes from - there were things in my childhood I couldn't handle by myself and porn was there to give me some relief.
I've suffered from lack of willpower and motivation lately, partly due to my job being boring. I completely lack enthusiasm, there are very few good things I want to do.

I want to be a winner again. A leader again. A warrior again. I'm done with the apathetic lifestyle.

Stay strong brothers
 

kopp

Active Member
I relapsed 2 days ago and for the first time ever I didn't feel guilty afterwards and... it's doing wonders to my mental.I think I need just a little bit of guilt, to realize I did something wrong, but no more than that because it is counterproductive.
I'm on day 2 and yet I feel happy
Hope you guys are doing well!
 
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