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TryingHarder

Active Member
Glad you're thinking about promises, Garagon. Some time ago, I came up with a promise to myself. I haven't always kept it, but am doing a pretty good job these days:

The Promise


I will never look at porn again.

I will not eat junk food in an attempt to feel good.

I will take care of myself with good food, exercise, meditation, and a good night's sleep.

I will reject the things that are negative, trivial, grotesque, and a waste of my time.

Instead, I will concentrate on what is positive, productive, creative, and a good use of my time.

I will remember that the past doesn't exist any more. Any unpleasant memories or people who have hurt and disappointed me simply do not exist any more.

I will explore my emotions instead of being overwhelmed by them.

The journey of 1,000 miles begins with a single step. Every day I stay true to this promise is a step in the right direction.
 
Glad you're thinking about promises, Garagon. Some time ago, I came up with a promise to myself. I haven't always kept it, but am doing a pretty good job these days:

The Promise


I will never look at porn again.

I will not eat junk food in an attempt to feel good.

I will take care of myself with good food, exercise, meditation, and a good night's sleep.

I will reject the things that are negative, trivial, grotesque, and a waste of my time.

Instead, I will concentrate on what is positive, productive, creative, and a good use of my time.

I will remember that the past doesn't exist any more. Any unpleasant memories or people who have hurt and disappointed me simply do not exist any more.

I will explore my emotions instead of being overwhelmed by them.

The journey of 1,000 miles begins with a single step. Every day I stay true to this promise is a step in the right direction.
I know it is hard keeping all those promises, but all roads have bumps some bigger than others. I have started to go to the gym, I want to keep the promise I made myself of losing 20lbs and get back to a healthier life style. I am trying to eat better to help me get to my goal.

I really like the promise you made to yourself, and are ones that I will apply to myself.
 
Today is day 11

Although is has not been easy, and I have been wanting to give up, I was able to feel my emotions and catch myself and learn how those emotions were okay to feel and although it was emotions of sadness and anger, I stop to uses and tell myself no more that I need to be better no matter what. It is hard to feel go about the process when I know it has cost me my marriage, but I know all I can do now it continue on this road and all other things will come.
I made the next step I will soon be starting therapy to better myself, I am trying to understand myself better and how this addiction has affected my areas of my life in the past. I am realizing that I need to face the consequences of my actions, as bad as it my hurt, I will come out the other side a better person for myself, and the people still in my life.

Keep on the good fight and uses your emotions to fuel the fire inside to be the person we all have the potential to be.
 
The steps you are taking and the accountability you keep holding yourself to are huge. Those are signs that you have made a big change in your life and you're committed to see it through. It's still going to be a while before this gets any easier, but as long as you keep your emotions and urges in check, you'll keep building the strength of your self-control. Keep on doing what you're doing (almost 2 weeks is no small feat!), fighting your fight and leaning on your support system when it gets too heavy.
 
Today is day 12,

Today was another hard day, I was very tempted and I was having a hard time fighting the urges, but I got through it. It took a lot but I’m happy that I didn’t give in. It’s been hard because of the stress and knowing that my relationship is pretty much over, the urges were hard to fight. The idea of not having the intimacy and not being with my wife, just made it that much harder. But I’m here making a change for me and my future.

Don’t give in but learn from your emotions and remind yourself why you want to change
 
Today is day 12,

Today was another hard day, I was very tempted and I was having a hard time fighting the urges, but I got through it. It took a lot but I’m happy that I didn’t give in. It’s been hard because of the stress and knowing that my relationship is pretty much over, the urges were hard to fight. The idea of not having the intimacy and not being with my wife, just made it that much harder. But I’m here making a change for me and my future.

Don’t give in but learn from your emotions and remind yourself why you want to change
Good job bro. It must feel good to get through today without giving in. Good luck with the rest of your days!!!
 
Stay strong garagon 💪
I don't want to speculate about your relationship but I think if you keep working on yourself and becoming a better man, your wife will recognize it
Don't give in brother - I believe in you!
 
Stay strong garagon 💪
I don't want to speculate about your relationship but I think if you keep working on yourself and becoming a better man, your wife will recognize it
Don't give in brother - I believe in you!
Thank you man, I really appreciate that! I haven't given up or lost hope and I am fighting every day to be that better me for myself, my future and hope my marriage still.
 
This isn't easy and I feel really disappointed in myself right now, today was would be day 14 if I would have made it through the day.

I am now back at day 1, I thought I wouldn't relapse but here we are starting over. I still much appreciate all the support I have found here, and I know more now then, that I can't do it alone, and also I can see this road is gonna hard, but I know it will all be worth it.

I will make it to day 30, 60, 90, and never looked and be where I want to be. Thank you all for understanding and you support. I fell down but I am picking myself up and I am understanding why I fell down.
 

Blondie

Respected Member
13 days is a good streak, don't be too hard on yourself Garagon. Just get back up and keep on moving.

This is a heroic struggle your facing, and to even be here on your own accord shows you give a fuck.

You will get there to 90 days, if only you can believe it.

This battle is not against porn but against yourself.

Why do you look at porn? Why did you go back? Did it fix your problem or only make it worse?

Keep soldiering on!
 
13 days is a good streak, don't be too hard on yourself Garagon. Just get back up and keep on moving.

This is a heroic struggle your facing, and to even be here on your own accord shows you give a fuck.

You will get there to 90 days, if only you can believe it.

This battle is not against porn but against yourself.

Why do you look at porn? Why did you go back? Did it fix your problem or only make it worse?

Keep soldiering on!
I thank you for reaching out and I really appreciate the support. I am trying to use this as a learning lesson to answer those questions about why.
 
I have been struggling the last couple of days, I feel like I am losing the fight against myself. The feeling of "fuck it" is willing and I am tried of losing. Today is day 1. I get you lost in the emotion of not caring, that I let myself lose. I know what I have to do now more than ever. When I have those feelings to remember that I still have my family, especially my sisters. That feel comes up because I have lost my marriage now, and in the past I was only hurting myself, but now that I hurt my wife and through my marriage away, that feeling of not caring feels stronger.

I want to change so bad, and I will. I trying to understand those feeling and how to use them to make myself better. I will not lose anymore! I am tried of this feeling of shame and hate for myself. I want to enjoy my life again, I want to be able to wake up and smell the roses.

Day 1, I am not quitting on myself
 
Today is my day 2, I am getting back on track with what I want. I have had some temptations and I am on here to focus my mind on something else, and to remind myself that I want to change. I want to get to a place in my life where this isn't a problem anymore, where I can have confidence in myself, and just overall feel better. I want to be better for myself and the people in life, whether I am still married or not, I want to show that change is possible it is just a really hard road to travel.

I let myself fall the other day, and I know how I was feeling. Today I used that knowledge and I just had to stop and gather myself and think before reacting. I am so appreciative of the support I get from here, and I just want to say thank you to everyone. We are all in this together and we will be the person we really want to be.
 
The feeling of "fuck it" is willing and I am tried of losing.
Can definitely relate to this - that "fuck it" feeling is hard to beat
When it strikes, I usually think "okay but I am going to be strong for the next 2-3 hours and see if my mood changes" - it usually does
Stay strong brother. It's a difficult journey but I believe in you 💪
 
Day 3.

Today was especially hard, I was questioning everything and thinking the worst about myself. I got stuck in a hole this morning and just kept wondering "what if" I would have changed back then where would be life and my marriage be right now. I was able to get out by reaching out to my sisters and they were able to ground me and remind me that I am not my choices and that I can still be a better person. I was thinking too much about the past and the future, I wasn't focusing on the now, and it was driving me crazy. I am so glad to have my sisters in my life to help me continue on this path of being a better person.
 

TryingHarder

Active Member
I used to be someone who was stuck in the past: constant regret, wishing I had done things different. However, I eventually realized something important: the past does not exist any more. Embarrassing moments, wrong choices, people who hurt and disappointed me - they don't exist. Check out The Power Of Now by Eckhart Tolle. I'll admit a lot of it reads like mumbo jumbo, but it's some good food for thought if you find yourself living with "what if" all the time.
 
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